Afford Tommorrow pt 2

[misspimp]

If I could afford tommorrow
I'd set that purchase on fire
I'd let it burn up all the liars
The worries & the stress
Of what the future already expects


Matter of fact
Let me take this time to confess
I've done my very best!
I havent tried to
Or I woulda failed
But I prevailed
Despite the many snails
Laying at my feet
Screaming defeat
& the vultures trying to eat
Away at my ankles

First & foremost
I'd like to thank you
Because your word & place in my heart
Has never failed me
& always remained true

To you who was able to provide
Never failing to mention
That my life would be hard
Thanks to you for making me
Everything you are
& all that you could never be
Even now I see
The hurt from dreams that failed
From you trying to live thru me

Oh please, if I could afford tommorrow
I'd probably trade it in for yesterday
Erase the hearbreak
I caused by being selfish

No really if I could afford tommorrow
I'd pretend as if I didnt know
Continuing to live today to the fullest
Letting tommorrow carry its own

[DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA]

No really if I could afford tommorrow
I'd pretend as if I didnt know
Continuing to live today to the fullest
Letting tommorrow carry its own
__________________

Those have gotta be my favorite lines rite there. I think you did an excellent job at the end i thought- And the ending contained such powerful words i love reading poems from poets who have a good closing to their work and you did that for me in this poem. Sooo keep doing ya thang.

[Bhitiah]

"To you who was able to provide
Never failing to mention
That my life would be hard
Thanks to you for making me
Everything you are
& all that you could never be
Even now I see
The hurt from dreams that failed
From you trying to live thru me"


^^ That's the truth aint it?


"Oh please, if I could afford tommorrow
I'd probably trade it in for yesterday
Erase the hearbreak
I caused by being selfish" << Me too!


"No really if I could afford tommorrow
I'd pretend as if I didnt know
Continuing to live today to the fullest
Letting tommorrow carry its own" This is hott, I loved it. Stay up!

[UFO the Phoenix]

If I could afford tommorrow
I'd set that purchase on fire
I'd let it burn up all the liars
The worries & the stress
Of what the future already expects

^this was cool....I like the title and the topic and how you get right into it....the twist on words stir this far from everyday cliches....and your simple flow made it fun and easy to follow....overall a great combination....this first stanza had me hooked


Matter of fact
Let me take this time to confess
I've done my very best!
I havent tried to
Or I woulda failed
But I prevailed
Despite the many snails
Laying at my feet
Screaming defeat
& the vultures trying to eat
Away at my ankles

^simple flow....think I've been in your shoes before....I can relate to this.....and the snails at your feet was interesting....again straying away from the norm but keeping it basic....I like that......and the vultures......really get a taste of racing against time and death

First & foremost
I'd like to thank you
Because your word & place in my heart
Has never failed me
& always remained true

^God?


To you who was able to provide
Never failing to mention
That my life would be hard
Thanks to you for making me
Everything you are
& all that you could never be
Even now I see
The hurt from dreams that failed
From you trying to live thru me

^intriguing metaphor you building on....I like this idea of broken dreams from outsider source....you gotta follow your heart and not somebody elses

Oh please, if I could afford tommorrow
I'd probably trade it in for yesterday
Erase the hearbreak
I caused by being selfish

^selfish.....so true....gotta have that perfect balance

No really if I could afford tommorrow
I'd pretend as if I didnt know
Continuing to live today to the fullest
Letting tommorrow carry its own

^gotta live each day like its your last.....word up