The Color Black

Quotive · 09-03-2005, 09:32 PM

I've felt the wisdom
beautiful black people
we're too intelligent
for black entertainment television
jail, or prison?
choose your destiny,
don't forget to manifest the divine
they've trapped the stress in our minds
and attempt to destroy our adolesence, in time
we'll become illeterate degenerates, and acronyms will define
the paths intended to follow
we're broken, like our glass envisioned tomorrows
I find no truth in the pledge of allegiance
I need to discuss my disgust with the head of the precinct
and ask why so many citizens are dead for no reason
I'm as red as a demon
our thoughts decayed as we've been locked away,
and we're ready for freedom
I want to see a better nation
but we're looked down upon, because we speak with execrations
remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk?
now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built
some tell us we're insane
some sell us to the fame
drugs dwell within our veins
slugs swell within our brains
thugs relative to pain
no irrelevance, we're drowning in God's tears
with no umbrellas for the rain
we have no futures, its useless to envision the past
young mothers addicted to crack
young fathers shaking, like their new-born infants
this is stress in it's true form, tension
is bubbling within our own depression
chrome posessions make us cold, and breathless
becoming bold, and restless
painting stars on the concrete, killing ourselves,
so it's like preparing to goto Heaven*

*props to ManMadeOfAshes, you're my hero. check my myspace page dude.

ManMadeofAshes · 09-04-2005, 01:44 PM

*lol meee? what do I owe this honor to?

and your a fuckin bitch cause I wanted to drop my new orleans poem first. all because I was high one night and dropped that damn 5 line-r eh.

quotive man I am impressed that a 17 year old is writing about these kinds of issues. As you can see we are a minority when it comes to speaking out. I grew out of my silence man but most people dont. And as for me I must have been 18 or so before I really started considering social issues. and you know what really pisses me off. THIS IS A FUCKING PLACE WHERE PASSIONATE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO RELEASE!! And just look at the content in the place. self absorbed drivel. People are dying. Im a gonna write me a love poem!

"and we're ready for freedom
I want to see a better nation
but we're looked down upon, because we speak with execrations
remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk?
now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built
some tell us we're insane
some sell us to the fame
drugs dwell within our veins
slugs swell within our brains
thugs relative to pain
no irrelevance, we're drowning in God's tears
with no umbrellas for the rain"

^this is my favorite part of the poem. Seems to almost peek in emotion.

something about the last line really gets at me too. and when I read that I must ask myself... what is religion? do this so you can avoid that. try this and get that. be this and your already that. the bible is a set of instructions. that is your preparation right there.

"annnd its a funny thingg that when it rains it pours weee got money for wars but cant feed the poor." lol a few of your lines reminded me of tupac...

"we have no futures, its useless to envision the past
young mothers addicted to crack"

^they say their aint no hope for the youth but the truth is their aint no hope for the future. and then they wonder why were crazy.. i blame my mother for turning my brother into a crack baby"

dope poem man. glad someone in here is willing to confront this, and its sad that its one of the youngest poets on the realm. (not sad for you but ... the masses)

i dont know man. popular opinion is a blanket of comfort people use to avoid critisism. Why stand up for what you believe in if you might get knocked down.

some people dont know how to stand back up.
correction...

some people don't know how to stand up period.

-ashes

illete · 09-04-2005, 05:18 PM

of course me bein a cracka i know some will say i cant "truely" relate.. but i have been in the struggle.. and this my friend.. is truth in word form.. from the beginning you set it off, and from the beginning the truth comes out..

"I've felt the wisdom
beautiful black people
we're too intelligent
for black entertainment television"

yessssirrrr

too many quoteables in this.. but as always with good poetry good words cannot truly describe good prose.. as is the case with this.. so i will again make a feeble attempt to pick out stand out lines from this great piece..

"remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk?
now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built"

"some tell us we're insane
some sell us to the fame
drugs dwell within our veins
slugs swell within our brains
thugs relative to pain"

can really picture than in a song, but at the same time.. great imagery, and at the same time the cadence is amazing..

you dont need me to tell you that you ended this well.. and i would tell you this is a great post.. but i know of no adjectives to truly describe the feeling and heart in this piece..

you my friend.. are very talented..

skandelous_lala · 09-05-2005, 06:54 AM

I'm really feeling this..you did a good job expressing yourself in this man..and I'm sure many will feel what you are saying in this as well.

You painted some very vivid pictures with your words

Your opening was great and set the tone immediatly..I always have respect for anybody who can catch me with those opening lines and set up the rest of the poem immediatly within them b/c I know its not always as easy as it looks.

Quotive · 09-06-2005, 11:08 AM

Thanks guys. I love y'all man *sniffles* lol

I hope to see some changes in the realms content myself, Ashes... *is sick of love poems*

Thanks again though, words mean a lot to me.

lpoet · 09-06-2005, 05:38 PM

were ready for freedom..

love it...love the message in this poem..havent read any of your work in what seems like ages...looks even better then the last...

nicejob

akqrate · 09-07-2005, 02:35 AM

remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk?
now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built
some tell us we're insane
some sell us to the fame
drugs dwell within our veins
slugs swell within our brains

damn quotive, this is awesome. I dont know what to say, all flowing with an intricate rhyme scheme too. It is real but so surreal at the same time. Very nice piece bro.

Mind~$oul · 09-07-2005, 04:52 AM

The message was heard man. I can't tell you just let yourself go in this piece because you normally don't write in this type of structure.

There were some many quotable in this piece. A lot of them reminds me of some of Tupac's earlier work. I was gonna keep that to myself because for some reason most people don't like their work and his work being mentioned in the same breath. But ManMade got away with it so I guess it's ok.

"we're drowning in God's tears
with no umbrellas for the rain
we have no futures, its useless to envision the past
young mothers addicted to crack
young fathers shaking, like their new-born infants
this is stress in it's true form, tension
is bubbling within our own depression
chrome posessions make us cold, and breathless
becoming bold, and restless
painting stars on the concrete, killing ourselves,
so it's like preparing to goto Heaven"

^Word man, you know I loved those lines there. It's a everyday struggle man. Glad to see something like this coming from you.

One luv

AlmostFamous · 09-07-2005, 10:36 AM

damn man this is nice... Im mos def gonna get back to this man

I gots to go to class here in about 5 more minutes so Im gonna hit this up around noon alright quotive

peace bro

absolute zero · 09-08-2005, 02:27 PM

Nice job, BEYATCH. heh. JP but seriously yeah of course I cannot fully relate to this, but I did like it....nice wording...I can't talk much, homework and all.......but holler at me on myspace...I think you got mine.

God Bless.

Brit Boi Gee · 09-08-2005, 11:34 PM

this was an interesting piece capturing the oppresion of the situation. I thought it flowed nicely, and you conveyed your message well.

thanks for sharing, quotive.

RealMS · 09-10-2005, 02:08 AM

I find no truth in the pledge of allegiance
I just feel like saying it, because I don't either^. Last year my Amer. history teacher wanted to write me up for never saying it in the morning. Anyhoo--

My goodness @ this, I think I'm gonna vote for this one.

You outdid yourself on this (NOT). You know you can keep going and going if you really wanted. Shoot, you should've. As long as this probably seems, it wasn't long enough. But, I read this 3x. You need to get into spoken words, esp. at your age. I'm telling you, people would be amazed. I know. And you prove otherwise to the folks who constantly down us younger ppls. I could laugh at that but that's the type of stuff that keeps me motivated sometimes. Keep writing.

-Much Love

UFO the Phoenix · 09-11-2005, 03:24 AM

DOnt know HoW I missed this one but wow.....you had a flow going on this one that made me step back in shock....havent seen a poet rip it like this in awhile....just good ol fashion rhymes with meaning ya know?....this was all over the place yet controled....I love this style Que.....keep it up

jkennedythe3RD · 09-11-2005, 05:05 AM

feel in the work, new to the spot so Im glad to get a good first impression

jkennedythe3RD · 09-11-2005, 05:38 AM

"I don't know what's better or worse/
the blessing or curse/
because what it takes/
to get those breaks/
as many stood stagnantly/
or tooned in statically/
to observe the aftermath of a national tragedy/
being reported oh so dramatically/
It seems as though AMERICA finally cares about black folks???
but at what cost/
for every live saved there has to be so many lives lost/

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 09-23-2005, 11:17 AM

WOW

This is my steez....so HOW DID I MISS IT!!

Oh man, i read this shit out loud and it flowed majestically!!
I am proud and impressed!! Your talent is worthy of your oft times arrogance (you boob)

I love the whole thing..consider the whole thing quoted muh fucca cause it's ILL!!!

i guess I'm done with picking my three for this month!!

Peace man!

Quotive · 09-23-2005, 01:38 PM

i love you^^^

dont close this M~$ please, lol close TKWTH... : )

ProjectEnglish · 09-26-2005, 02:35 AM

genius

09-04-2005, 01:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	lol meee? what do I owe this honor to? and your a fuckin bitch cause I wanted to drop my new orleans poem first. all because I was high one night and dropped that damn 5 line-r eh. quotive man I am impressed that a 17 year old is writing about these kinds of issues. As you can see we are a minority when it comes to speaking out. I grew out of my silence man but most people dont. And as for me I must have been 18 or so before I really started considering social issues. and you know what really pisses me off. THIS IS A FUCKING PLACE WHERE PASSIONATE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO RELEASE!! And just look at the content in the place. self absorbed drivel. People are dying. Im a gonna write me a love poem! "and we're ready for freedom I want to see a better nation but we're looked down upon, because we speak with execrations remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk? now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built some tell us we're insane some sell us to the fame drugs dwell within our veins slugs swell within our brains thugs relative to pain no irrelevance, we're drowning in God's tears with no umbrellas for the rain" ^this is my favorite part of the poem. Seems to almost peek in emotion. something about the last line really gets at me too. and when I read that I must ask myself... what is religion? do this so you can avoid that. try this and get that. be this and your already that. the bible is a set of instructions. that is your preparation right there. "annnd its a funny thingg that when it rains it pours weee got money for wars but cant feed the poor." lol a few of your lines reminded me of tupac... "we have no futures, its useless to envision the past young mothers addicted to crack" ^they say their aint no hope for the youth but the truth is their aint no hope for the future. and then they wonder why were crazy.. i blame my mother for turning my brother into a crack baby" dope poem man. glad someone in here is willing to confront this, and its sad that its one of the youngest poets on the realm. (not sad for you but ... the masses) i dont know man. popular opinion is a blanket of comfort people use to avoid critisism. Why stand up for what you believe in if you might get knocked down. some people dont know how to stand back up. correction... some people don't know how to stand up period. -ashes __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes Last edited by ManMadeofAshes; 09-04-2005 at 01:49 PM.*

09-04-2005, 05:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
illete Howdy Howdy Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Missouri Posts: 1,776	of course me bein a cracka i know some will say i cant "truely" relate.. but i have been in the struggle.. and this my friend.. is truth in word form.. from the beginning you set it off, and from the beginning the truth comes out.. "I've felt the wisdom beautiful black people we're too intelligent for black entertainment television" yessssirrrr too many quoteables in this.. but as always with good poetry good words cannot truly describe good prose.. as is the case with this.. so i will again make a feeble attempt to pick out stand out lines from this great piece.. "remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk? now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built" "some tell us we're insane some sell us to the fame drugs dwell within our veins slugs swell within our brains thugs relative to pain" can really picture than in a song, but at the same time.. great imagery, and at the same time the cadence is amazing.. you dont need me to tell you that you ended this well.. and i would tell you this is a great post.. but i know of no adjectives to truly describe the feeling and heart in this piece.. you my friend.. are very talented.. __________________ Throw Ya Z's Up Email : illete@zurirecords.com AIM : illetedakid iLLeTe @ MySpace

09-05-2005, 06:54 AM	#4 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	I'm really feeling this..you did a good job expressing yourself in this man..and I'm sure many will feel what you are saying in this as well. You painted some very vivid pictures with your words Your opening was great and set the tone immediatly..I always have respect for anybody who can catch me with those opening lines and set up the rest of the poem immediatly within them b/c I know its not always as easy as it looks. __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

09-06-2005, 05:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	were ready for freedom.. love it...love the message in this poem..havent read any of your work in what seems like ages...looks even better then the last... nicejob __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

09-07-2005, 02:35 AM	#7 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	remember when it was fruity pebbles, with the low-fat milk? now it's shoot the rebel, because we're pro-black built some tell us we're insane some sell us to the fame drugs dwell within our veins slugs swell within our brains damn quotive, this is awesome. I dont know what to say, all flowing with an intricate rhyme scheme too. It is real but so surreal at the same time. Very nice piece bro. __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

09-07-2005, 04:52 AM	#8 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	The message was heard man. I can't tell you just let yourself go in this piece because you normally don't write in this type of structure. There were some many quotable in this piece. A lot of them reminds me of some of Tupac's earlier work. I was gonna keep that to myself because for some reason most people don't like their work and his work being mentioned in the same breath. But ManMade got away with it so I guess it's ok. "we're drowning in God's tears with no umbrellas for the rain we have no futures, its useless to envision the past young mothers addicted to crack young fathers shaking, like their new-born infants this is stress in it's true form, tension is bubbling within our own depression chrome posessions make us cold, and breathless becoming bold, and restless painting stars on the concrete, killing ourselves, so it's like preparing to goto Heaven" ^Word man, you know I loved those lines there. It's a everyday struggle man. Glad to see something like this coming from you. One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

09-07-2005, 10:36 AM	#9 (permalink)
AlmostFamous U got a problem? Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sioux Falls Posts: 2,789	damn man this is nice... Im mos def gonna get back to this man I gots to go to class here in about 5 more minutes so Im gonna hit this up around noon alright quotive peace bro __________________ the good lord giveth and he taketh away isnt that the truth My name is Nate Short MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate

09-08-2005, 11:34 PM	#11 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,977	this was an interesting piece capturing the oppresion of the situation. I thought it flowed nicely, and you conveyed your message well. thanks for sharing, quotive. __________________ They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. -Bob Monkhouse Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer

09-10-2005, 02:08 AM	#12 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,236	I find no truth in the pledge of allegiance I just feel like saying it, because I don't either^. Last year my Amer. history teacher wanted to write me up for never saying it in the morning. Anyhoo-- My goodness @ this, I think I'm gonna vote for this one. You outdid yourself on this (NOT). You know you can keep going and going if you really wanted. Shoot, you should've. As long as this probably seems, it wasn't long enough. But, I read this 3x. You need to get into spoken words, esp. at your age. I'm telling you, people would be amazed. I know. And you prove otherwise to the folks who constantly down us younger ppls. I could laugh at that but that's the type of stuff that keeps me motivated sometimes. Keep writing. -Much Love

09-11-2005, 03:24 AM	#13 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	DOnt know HoW I missed this one but wow.....you had a flow going on this one that made me step back in shock....havent seen a poet rip it like this in awhile....just good ol fashion rhymes with meaning ya know?....this was all over the place yet controled....I love this style Que.....keep it up __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

09-11-2005, 05:05 AM	#14 (permalink)
jkennedythe3RD Registered User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 25	feel in the work, new to the spot so Im glad to get a good first impression

09-11-2005, 05:38 AM	#15 (permalink)
jkennedythe3RD Registered User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 25	"I don't know what's better or worse/ the blessing or curse/ because what it takes/ to get those breaks/ as many stood stagnantly/ or tooned in statically/ to observe the aftermath of a national tragedy/ being reported oh so dramatically/ It seems as though AMERICA finally cares about black folks??? but at what cost/ for every live saved there has to be so many lives lost/

09-23-2005, 11:17 AM	#16 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	WOW This is my steez....so HOW DID I MISS IT!! Oh man, i read this shit out loud and it flowed majestically!! I am proud and impressed!! Your talent is worthy of your oft times arrogance (you boob) I love the whole thing..consider the whole thing quoted muh fucca cause it's ILL!!! i guess I'm done with picking my three for this month!! Peace man! __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980) Last edited by MISSKEYdaQUEEN; 09-23-2005 at 11:20 AM.

09-26-2005, 02:35 AM	#18 (permalink)
ProjectEnglish free beer tomorow Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: call me john lennon the second Posts: 818	genius __________________ check out my swag yo.. i walk like a ballplayer no matter where you go.. you are what you are player and you can try to change but thats just the top layer man you was who you was when you got here only god can judge me... so im gone.. either love me.. or leave me alone. Im Gay Do You Want to Fight About It?