the power of smell

[screamer]

The first time I fell into
the scent of you
is when I knew
that that trace would
linger
whisper
in the remnants of my longing
And I was waiting
Waiting
to drink that smell
But these thoughts had no words
like a clock with no ticking
And I slipped into your water
with no change of temperature
…as if we had no beginning…

And nothing could come to mind
No simple words of poetry
I am just floating
drenched in a musk that permeates my being
sweat
salt
stirs life into an ocean of once wasted tears
It’s everything
It’s nothing
but neck-pant murmurs
rhythmic pleasures
unlabeled lovers
simply… being

this is the power of smell








hey ashes, I think it does sound better this way.... thanks for your suggestion!

[- General -]

I could easily relate to some of this,
The entire poem is real smooth and emotion is very nice

"But these thoughts had no words
like a clock with no ticking
And I slipped into your water
with no change of temperature
…as if we had no beginning…"
^ Those lines were the ones I felt the most

[ManMadeofAshes]

well I go like the poem. concept is good. the sense that retrieves old memories most easily is smell. Something you learn in psychology. Having said that I dont like the two lines. I feel like it was wasted space. I already know the basics, what I want from you is the unique twist that you have. That comes later.

this is just opinion but I think that your poem is between your first two lines and your last line. To me those are just words that don't add to the content of the poem.

"But these thoughts had no words
like a clock with no ticking
And I slipped into your water
with no change of temperature
…as if we had no beginning…"

^ awsome right here. I love the image and the way you led into this idea of no beginning.

good read. stay up. (and its good to see you, havent seen you around much lately)

-ashes

[h.wood]

outstanding. really beautiful. the same lines quoted above were the ones i was going to put up

[h.wood]

outstanding. really beautiful. the same lines quoted above were the ones i was going to put up

[UFO the Phoenix]

its been awhile scream.....this was a breath of fresh air....I read this and it just seemed so smooth and peaceful.....the subject matter matched the poem itself....the format and all....really set the tone and mood for the piece....I like the second half the most......powerful word-play....and unexpected flow

peace

[AlmostFamous]

The first time I fell into
the scent of you
is when I knew
that that trace would
linger
whisper
in the remnants of my longing
And I was waiting
Waiting
to drink that smell
But these thoughts had no words

i dont know what to say to this... your use of of analogies in this poem is top notch stuff... mos def...

*shakes head* i love it.....lol