4am keystyle

[Bhitiah]

I got down on my hands and knees
and prayed for the ability
to get up
and stay up
seems kind of counter-productive
at least to me..

I sit here at 4am writing in the dark
and all I see is the pen moving
like the pins on a lie detector test
and I wonder if
I know if any of this is real yet

and beyond that I have nothing to say
4:07 am
wading through pages of confinement
grabbing pages of blank paper
hoping it will unconfine me
and maybe God will come find me
quietly hidden, jailed between two lines
my whole life
just trying to make it to the next line

I tried

my train of thought stops
at the right edge of the page
and i snap back like old'n days
type-writers
and as kid's we believed in finders keeper's
loosers weepers
but we never really belonged
so never really knew the meaning

So as I feel misplaced on this page
this entire poem was staged
on the back of my brain
and brought forward only
to mask over more intense pain

So when I say,
I dont have nothing to say...
What I really mean-
Well, I dont really wanna tell you
what I really mean..

[AlmostFamous]

4:07 am
wading through pages of confinement
grabbing pages of blank paper
hoping it will unconfine me
and maybe God will come find me
quietly hidden, jailed between two lines
my whole life
just trying to make it to the next line

I like how you worded this stanza... the way you used your analogies.. very well done
I can relate to this

I do 4am keystyles alot... i just dont name them "4am keystyle" lol
I seem to write my best stuff late at night...

but anyways back to the poem at hand...


the ending was done very well... leaving the reader kind of pissed of though...lol

nicely done key bhitaih

[LadyL257]

So when I say,
I dont have nothing to say...
What I really mean-
Well, I dont really wanna tell you
what I really mean..

mannnn that shit right there^^ i have no comment *Speechless*..jus kno that that really ment ALOT to me....You Go Gurl!...nice poem, i never wrote one at 4am cuz i be too lazy 2 get up...madd thoughts come 2 mind too when i wake up.. i figure i'd remember the thought in the morining but nope!

stay up
1luv

[Quotive]

"my train of thought stops
at the right edge of the page
and i snap back like old'n days
type-writers
and as kid's we believed in finders keeper's
loosers weepers
but we never really belonged
so never really knew the meaning"

Damn, that shit was dope.

Nice keystyle here.....

[ManMadeofAshes]

nice work here. I have a lot of these 4am keystyles so this shit is what got me hooked.

"I sit here at 4am writing in the dark
and all I see is the pen moving
like the pins on a lie detector test
and I wonder if
I know if any of this is real yet"

^ i just love this because so many late nights.. or rather early mornings I have finished these crazy poems and every so often I will think... or shit.. is this brilliant or what??? Its like I think I have something really good.. but Im just too tired to really trust myself.

"and maybe God will come find me
quietly hidden, jailed between two lines
my whole life
just trying to make it to the next line"

also a beautiful image. Jailed between to lines.. I really cant think of a better way to express the struggle we sometimes go through to ease into the next line or part of the poem. Amazing the way you expressed it.

great stuff bhitiah.

-ashes

[lpoet]

doesnt matter how long i stay away...

your writting is so powerfull..so many levels.i love your bitterness..u seem to hold on to things for a long time..i can really relate to that..i have a hard time letting go of just about everything...

nice

[Mind~$oul]

Liked this piece a lot. The majority of anything I write I write around the same time. It's like the only time I actually have a chance to zone out about anything. But it's a struggle to get it out on paper.

One luv

[RealMS]

This could not have been key'd. If it was, I need to know your definition of a 'keystyle!' (I'm serious) But I really liked this. None of it was fell into the classification of cliches (you know what lines I'm talking about--the ones where I thought they'd end up to be played out cliches!) I like that part where you wrote about the lines and you're just trying to make it to the next. It's like everybody else is living for so much at once, and you're tryna do the opposite. Good read right here. Keep it up. And how you gonna write in the dark? I can't even do that, even with the lamp on dim. And besides that, you just have one good eye for the moment! Crazy. Keep writing.

-Much Love