Where Definition Resides

This is a discussion on Where Definition Resides within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; I just wanted to share this piece I wrote for a special friend of mine. I hope you can take ...


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Old 09-01-2005, 12:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Where Definition Resides
I just wanted to share this piece I wrote for a special friend of mine. I hope you can take something from it for yourself.





Where Definition Resides

It was like the moment that lies between pain and bliss
We exist in that space
We exist in that place together

Where has God placed the reasoning for us?
When in you I seek comfort only found in myself
You manifest that when I知 in need of help
We
This word
this existence
Profoundly placed in the midst of progressing time
I love you like God loves you
And I protect your heart as you protect mine
1-1-2-9
Not carbon copy but so similar and close
So different but so alike

Like when eyes lock and words only exchange through
Body language
We spoke in this space through caresses and kisses
I touched myself with your fingers
But with your mind
We are simple confusion and chaotic calm
And when you are inside
Your energy transforms
And you give me you
As I hold you in this space
This dark space between pain and bliss
We grow
Closer to definition.

By Ms.Key DaQueen (for Jason)
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Old 09-01-2005, 04:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Bhitiah takes it up the butt!
why you gotta write a poem like that to a guy named jason...lol We need to chat about this here tho cause I'm tellin ya girl, it aint right.

As for the poem, well that was about the poem, but you know what I mean dammit.


"I love you like God loves you" that's cute...way cute...that's a good line too

"Like when eyes lock and words only exchange through
Body language
We spoke in this space through caresses and kisses
I touched myself with your fingers
But with your mind
We are simple confusion and chaotic calm
And when you are inside
Your energy transforms
And you give me you
As I hold you in this space
This dark space between pain and bliss
We grow
Closer to definition."



Damn.
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Old 09-01-2005, 11:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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KAtpower takes it up the butt!
you're a goddess miss thang, I told you this before (remember... heh heh),,, only you can put so much weight into a love poem like this... usually I dont like love poems, they sound too much like halmark cards,
you make your relaitnship look like dna bloom inot daisy chains.. some weird wacked shit that any one who has been in love can realte to.. so diffrenet yet the same...

the ending is perfect. so perfect.


We grow
Closer to definition




(damn)

oh yeah, and thanks for your comment on my poem, I am always flattered when a beautiful, talented person like yourslef says something nice about my work...
Last edited by KAtpower; 09-01-2005 at 11:21 PM.
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Old 09-02-2005, 02:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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^^^Listen to you...wow. Thanks..it's appreciated..I usually don't elaborate on my pieces but I do have a question for those who read it.. Did you understand what I'm trying to communicate with
Quote:
This dark space between pain and bliss
?

Just wondering..
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Old 09-02-2005, 03:09 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I think the poet is transending the paradox of perfection.. the yin and yang...
the dark space is the curve between pain and bliss... the transition between pure suffering and enlightenment. Sounds pretty taoist to me... but I could be all wrong...

when you talk of "chaos and confusion" and then bring us to this dark space is what gots me thinking to this..

when space is curved, and when god made the uviverese so alive and grand... some bodies and souls are meant to overlapp.. this is when love is beyound real. but perhaps I am going off the deep end.

okay forget I said all that...

when we get hurt we withdrawl and regroup.. pain is a time for contemplation and a time when we dont seek out love, it may come to us while we are in this state.. and perhaps this is when bliss comes to p[lay.
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Old 09-02-2005, 07:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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^^^^Get outta my head!!!!

How did you come up with that shit!! oh my goodness. i think about it so often..sometimes i feel a little "crazy". But you hit it on the f**king nose. i don't know much about Taoism but it's remamrkable ..your interpretation is just perfect.

thanks!!
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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LadyL257 takes it up the butt!
I love you like God loves you
And I protect your heart as you protect mine
^ Favorite Part

you know how 2 write from a heart to another ....made me thinka callin my boyfriend back and apologizing lol...i loved that poem reminds me of me and him.............. back then :-)

stay up mama
1luv

lol@ them smilie faces this site got... can thier be a normal face?!
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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you're on another plane, missey, that's why i think you're so special.
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Old 09-04-2005, 12:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
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okay...^who are you and where do you come from!?

::jp::


Miss this is something else. You have some crazy diversity when it comes to your style. I'll be back. Keep writing.

-Much Love
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Old 09-06-2005, 05:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This piece was much laid back compared the the others you posted before this. I still think it's a great piece. There was a lot a of lines that jumped out at me. I've said it many times before, you're very versatile. Keep it up

one luv
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Old 09-07-2005, 12:39 PM   #11 (permalink)
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This was cute...i havent read one of your pieces in ages and i'm glad i had a little time today. the piece was straight and to the point which is sort of unusual for you..you usuall make me sit on end to find out whats next...

still great poem..

thank you
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Old 09-10-2005, 03:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
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-kip
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Old 09-12-2005, 04:49 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I like this. I hope that everybody has someone in their life like this that they can relate to...someone who can be their opposite..but at the same time..their mirror image...one who brings out the best in the other and vice versa.
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Old 09-12-2005, 04:55 AM   #14 (permalink)
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interesting.

the 1-1-2-9 part threw me off. But I liked the tone. Really relaxed me. I guess I wont try to decipher this one as it's for a friend, no chance of me really knowing.......but I'll let my imagination take it over.......stay up

God Bless.
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Old 09-12-2005, 09:44 AM   #15 (permalink)
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^^^The dude I'm dealing with..Our birthday is on 11-29, the same day!

We act very similiar and have some of the same habits,lol

This one will be harder to get than my others,lol
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I really liked that.. And yeah that number part confused me, but I get it now.

This was nice.

I liked this part especially:

Your energy transforms
And you give me you
As I hold you in this space
This dark space between pain and bliss
We grow
Closer to definition.

And of course the line about loving him like god does.

Great job

EDIT: I just realized the gayness of that smilie...
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Last edited by Psycho69; 09-13-2005 at 08:59 PM.
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Old 09-15-2005, 06:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
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it's not gay if you are a dude saying it to a lady,lol

lol
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