And I always run

broken_wings113 · 08-03-2005, 02:19 PM

....and i always run

Looking over my shoulder---watching my back
Everyone around me just being dragged down by the demons from their pasts..
Everyone's falling..sinking....it's like quick sand
There are few of us left
The few who are strong...
But not everyone runs.... some face the things that pursue them
If not today ... tomorrow but they face what must come
Me.... I'm scared
The walls closing in on me
My world comes crashing down
Running....
Sweating...
Breathing hard
I'm going to collapse
Hyperventalating
Til I crumble... collapse.. fall on my knees and just pray
Shout up to the one who made me
---Where do I go from here?
No answer...I don't know what todo
No signs.. no symbols
Abandonment... I'm alone
I'm Alone---Forsaken
Trapped...Blinded...I'm alone forsaken
And i always run
It's all I know to do
Don't want to run no more
But I just do
Forsaken...running from reality
Running...trying to protect me
....and i always run.....SOMEBODY STOP ME!

Quotive · 08-03-2005, 02:55 PM

lol made me laugh, dunno why.

decent poem, very simple..

Sole Sovereign · 08-03-2005, 03:14 PM

Like Quo said it's kind of simple. I didn't laugh at it however. Content was alright just need to find a way to complex it a bit and make it more interesting to read. You could see where the intensity was meant to be but it just wasn't there for me. Keep writing and peace.

RealMS · 08-04-2005, 12:13 AM

Looking over my shoulder---watching my back
Everyone around me just being dragged down by the demons from their pasts..
^these first and second lines, at first puzzled me. It's pretty simple, but it didn't match description at first for some reason, for me. But going back and re reading it-it makes sense. Kinda like-those close to you, or even just ppl. on the passing by seem so stressed out these days, for pretty good reasons, and you're stressed too. Or, just not at ease. I can relate. Its like you just wanna see ppl. do good and not settle for so low...dang I'm goin off track on my own thoughts. I need to write something.

Anyway I like this poem. Not so much paranoid, as I've mentioned somewhat^^ but you're not really caught up in situations, it's just the moment, kinda spur of the moment. In other words, you think beyond it; realistic. This was good, keep writing.

-Much Love

Bhitiah · 08-08-2005, 03:42 AM

"Everyone around me just being dragged down by the demons from their pasts.."

Dont assume that the only ones left are the strong ones, maybe your just the ones nobody wanted ...Or perhaps, Just lucky.

08-03-2005, 02:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
broken_wings113 Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Beyond these glasses in the depths of my soul.... Posts: 117	And I always run ....and i always run Looking over my shoulder---watching my back Everyone around me just being dragged down by the demons from their pasts.. Everyone's falling..sinking....it's like quick sand There are few of us left The few who are strong... But not everyone runs.... some face the things that pursue them If not today ... tomorrow but they face what must come Me.... I'm scared The walls closing in on me My world comes crashing down Running.... Sweating... Breathing hard I'm going to collapse Hyperventalating Til I crumble... collapse.. fall on my knees and just pray Shout up to the one who made me ---Where do I go from here? No answer...I don't know what todo No signs.. no symbols Abandonment... I'm alone I'm Alone---Forsaken Trapped...Blinded...I'm alone forsaken And i always run It's all I know to do Don't want to run no more But I just do Forsaken...running from reality Running...trying to protect me ....and i always run.....SOMEBODY STOP ME!

08-03-2005, 03:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sole Sovereign Hungry But Never Starving Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 2,927	Like Quo said it's kind of simple. I didn't laugh at it however. Content was alright just need to find a way to complex it a bit and make it more interesting to read. You could see where the intensity was meant to be but it just wasn't there for me. Keep writing and peace. __________________ ...Take a step: one step, one dive... ...Fate is death. A leap of faith over sunset's sunrise... ...Hate is everpresent, some let love die... ...even if you laced loosely, some get tongue tied... elo§overeign ˜W™

08-08-2005, 03:42 AM	#5 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	"Everyone around me just being dragged down by the demons from their pasts.." Dont assume that the only ones left are the strong ones, maybe your just the ones nobody wanted ...Or perhaps, Just lucky. __________________ You can bomb the world to peices, but cant bomb into peace

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08-04-2005, 12:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,230	Looking over my shoulder---watching my back Everyone around me just being dragged down by the demons from their pasts.. ^these first and second lines, at first puzzled me. It's pretty simple, but it didn't match description at first for some reason, for me. But going back and re reading it-it makes sense. Kinda like-those close to you, or even just ppl. on the passing by seem so stressed out these days, for pretty good reasons, and you're stressed too. Or, just not at ease. I can relate. Its like you just wanna see ppl. do good and not settle for so low...dang I'm goin off track on my own thoughts. I need to write something. Anyway I like this poem. Not so much paranoid, as I've mentioned somewhat^^ but you're not really caught up in situations, it's just the moment, kinda spur of the moment. In other words, you think beyond it; realistic. This was good, keep writing. -Much Love

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