Let Me Explain

Quotive · 08-03-2005, 12:00 AM

These insecurites are resurfacing...
coming around...

I need to follow a path,
or a path to follow.
When tomorrow has passed,
I'll just pass tomorrow off
for a solution for my problems.

I break down, and relapse
with a cigarette...
I'm not clean,
clothes are dirty,
and I'm feeling shitty.

I need five minutes
to ease the pain...
A minute to smoke by myself.
Another to drink away the worries.
A minute to think about you.
Another to stare at the ceiling's patterns.
One last minute to reflect on the past four
minutes of my life that were wasted away
because of the way I was raised.

A bent spoon over a candle light
on the saddest night
in years
seems romantic...
Theres a rush that comes along
with the bitterness I've tasted.
The shit I've inhaled treats life
beautifully.

So beautifully melting away,
like a butterfly on a summer day.
I fiend more...

These insecurities are scratching...
rolling away...

Mind~$oul · 08-03-2005, 01:17 AM

You just can't even wait for the last piece to fall huh?

Even this poem was dope man. The struggle of trying to let go of yesterdays and welcome'n tomorrows.

"I need five minutes
to ease the pain...
A minute to smoke by myself.
Another to drink away the worries.
A minute to think about you.
Another to stare at the ceiling's patterns.
One last minute to reflect on the past four
minutes of my life that were wasted away
because of the way I was raised."

^That was my favorite stanza. You broke down the feeling to the piece perfectly.

"A bent spoon over a candle light
on the saddest night
in years
seems romantic...
Theres a rush that comes along
with the bitterness I've tasted.
The shit I've inhaled treats life
beautifully.

So beautifully melting away,
like a butterfly on a summer day.
I fiend more...

These insecurities are scratching...
rolling away..."

I couldn't help but to think you was talking about drugs or something in this piece. My mind is bad though. Don't mind me

One Luv

and try waiting

ManMadeofAshes · 08-03-2005, 06:21 AM

^nice breakdown

Definately a little different, expecially stanzas 2 and 4. Love the description of stanza 3 but I suppose a lot of that comes from being able to relate.

Like the feeling of stanza 5. Something about it seems nostalgic. As a concequence I can see how M~S got the idea that it could be relating to drugs.

"The shit I've inhaled treats life
beautifully"

^those lines particularly.

nice with the conflict and the resolve. Though I suppose if its through the use of drugs there may be another problem coming. But then again I do drugs, so what would I know mu hahah. Great diversity man even in just the last three poems I have read. Not a lot of people pull that off gracefully.

-ashes

Sole Sovereign · 08-03-2005, 09:32 AM

I liked every line of this piece. Very reflective. One thing I didn't like though is the reference to the spoon over the candle. I remember a while back you posted a piece talking about shooting dope and you said it was a metaphore when somebody mentioned it. I think you're a closet junkie. Just come out and admit it, it's obvious you do so much dope it's bleeding from your fingers onto your keyboard. In all seriousness man, this piece was nice it reminded me of something my wife and I would talk about. We used to have very eloquent conversations for laughs and giggles. Anyways thanks for the stroll.

Peace

Quotive · 08-03-2005, 12:54 PM

I will next time M~S lol, my bad.

And naw, I'm not a closet junkie hahaha... All of my poems have atleast one big metaphor in them.. But yo thanks for your reply Sole, appreciate it coming from you.

And Ashes, yeah thanks man. This is about drugs, struggle, pain, depression, alcohol, etc.. very simplistic for me but I got tired of that abstract shit, ya know? Thanks for the love man.

The Pharcyde · 08-03-2005, 06:12 PM

felt... keep blessing..

absolute zero · 08-03-2005, 08:08 PM

"I need to follow a path,
or a path to follow.
When tomorrow has passed,
I'll just pass tomorrow off
for a solution for my problems. "

Poem was dope overall, but this part right here was great.......this just caught me because I read it outloud.......Flowed well.

God Bless.

RealMS · 08-04-2005, 12:41 AM

this poem makes me think of some weird things man. Or thoughts. Like, do all poets have the same mind state, we all go through this shyt? But we don't bring ourselves to it, it's a natural thing? Born with this? lol, my mind is flying. But I like the first part, the path to follow line was a good way to open things up. You say you're tired of the abstract but even this was kinda abstract in its way. I have a poem about insecurity, written like earlier this summer. Shoots I wish I can find it lol. Keep writing.

-Much Love

08-03-2005, 01:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,139	You just can't even wait for the last piece to fall huh? Even this poem was dope man. The struggle of trying to let go of yesterdays and welcome'n tomorrows. "I need five minutes to ease the pain... A minute to smoke by myself. Another to drink away the worries. A minute to think about you. Another to stare at the ceiling's patterns. One last minute to reflect on the past four minutes of my life that were wasted away because of the way I was raised." ^That was my favorite stanza. You broke down the feeling to the piece perfectly. "A bent spoon over a candle light on the saddest night in years seems romantic... Theres a rush that comes along with the bitterness I've tasted. The shit I've inhaled treats life beautifully. So beautifully melting away, like a butterfly on a summer day. I fiend more... These insecurities are scratching... rolling away..." I couldn't help but to think you was talking about drugs or something in this piece. My mind is bad though. Don't mind me One Luv and try waiting __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

08-03-2005, 06:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	^nice breakdown Definately a little different, expecially stanzas 2 and 4. Love the description of stanza 3 but I suppose a lot of that comes from being able to relate. Like the feeling of stanza 5. Something about it seems nostalgic. As a concequence I can see how M~S got the idea that it could be relating to drugs. "The shit I've inhaled treats life beautifully" ^those lines particularly. nice with the conflict and the resolve. Though I suppose if its through the use of drugs there may be another problem coming. But then again I do drugs, so what would I know mu hahah. Great diversity man even in just the last three poems I have read. Not a lot of people pull that off gracefully. -ashes __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

08-03-2005, 09:32 AM	#4 (permalink)
Sole Sovereign Hungry But Never Starving Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 2,927	I liked every line of this piece. Very reflective. One thing I didn't like though is the reference to the spoon over the candle. I remember a while back you posted a piece talking about shooting dope and you said it was a metaphore when somebody mentioned it. I think you're a closet junkie. Just come out and admit it, it's obvious you do so much dope it's bleeding from your fingers onto your keyboard. In all seriousness man, this piece was nice it reminded me of something my wife and I would talk about. We used to have very eloquent conversations for laughs and giggles. Anyways thanks for the stroll. Peace __________________ ...Take a step: one step, one dive... ...Fate is death. A leap of faith over sunset's sunrise... ...Hate is everpresent, some let love die... ...even if you laced loosely, some get tongue tied... elo§overeign ˜W™

08-03-2005, 08:08 PM	#7 (permalink)
absolute zero I got id. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NO NO NO Posts: 7,189	"I need to follow a path, or a path to follow. When tomorrow has passed, I'll just pass tomorrow off for a solution for my problems. " Poem was dope overall, but this part right here was great.......this just caught me because I read it outloud.......Flowed well. God Bless. __________________ They say money changes you but money don't change you it just makes you more of what you already are.

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08-03-2005, 06:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
The Pharcyde Giovanni Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Ft. Washington, Maryland Posts: 387	felt... keep blessing..

08-04-2005, 12:41 AM	#8 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,184	this poem makes me think of some weird things man. Or thoughts. Like, do all poets have the same mind state, we all go through this shyt? But we don't bring ourselves to it, it's a natural thing? Born with this? lol, my mind is flying. But I like the first part, the path to follow line was a good way to open things up. You say you're tired of the abstract but even this was kinda abstract in its way. I have a poem about insecurity, written like earlier this summer. Shoots I wish I can find it lol. Keep writing. -Much Love

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