God Don't Work For You

This is a discussion on God Don't Work For You within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Spiritual people like to believe THat GOD orchestrates shit Just for them We say things like: "God put you in ...


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Old 08-02-2005, 12:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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twinkletoes takes it up the butt!
God Don't Work For You
Spiritual people like to believe
THat GOD orchestrates shit
Just for them
We say things like:
"God put you in my path" or
"The LORD introduced us for a reason."

But maybe,
Just maybe
GOD's too busy to play our games
See - HE's got a universe to run
Prayers to answer
Angels to entertain
Maybe instead
It was the DEVIL
Who played this cruel trick
Maybe it was the SERPANT
Who had a plan for us

Saw our mutual weakness, and, so much
Enjoying chaos said:
"What the hell! This'll be fun!"
And unleased you unto me
To perpetrate the deciet

Now don't get me wrong - I am NOT
A victim
Not an innocent, chaste maiden
I entered this DEVIL's Game with my
Eyes wide shut
Mentally rehersing the verses of
My own rhymes
Those about wanting to feel
Full and loved and desired and
Beautiful
So I did this to me

Although I try to deny his
Presence
You can not ignore his essence
And the devil lives inside
A little in you
A little in me
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Old 08-02-2005, 04:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 08-02-2005, 08:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Man...contemplating...trying to figure the reasoning behind this shit drives you to thoughts like that!!

I am so excited by your work...man! I'll keep my eyes open

This is a gooood piece!
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Old 08-02-2005, 02:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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This was purposeless. The poem has like.. nothing special to it.

Did nothing for me..
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Old 08-03-2005, 11:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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hmm yeah girl you're showing much of diversity to the realm already, and that's good. Where do you write at? lol, I'm sure not the same place. Naw, anyway I didn't like the first part, simply because of how the first line was worded. Well, the word usage. It's like stereotyping to me, but I don't know, this is my first time reading it so my view may not be falling into play, but that's how I feel about it. I don't like the part where you say-now don't get me wrong...it just threw off the vibe for me, like justifying yourself, defeating the poem's purpose. IDK man lol, I don't think I should say anything about this piece. Of course it's based upon opinions and such, but ehhh keep writing.

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Old 08-03-2005, 11:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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^that sheeit made no sense

I tried.
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Old 08-08-2005, 03:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Man I dont know if I like this...Cause you say that, God doesnt cater to you and you dont like it when are like ...God put you in my path, but then you say god's got other things to do like answer someone's prayers...what if that was the answer to their prayer? .......

I dunno.
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Old 08-09-2005, 08:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't know about this piece. I think maybe you could have brought a little more depth to it to help us understand it better. But the ending kinda creeped me out.

One luv
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Old 08-09-2005, 08:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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v0id takes it up the butt!v0id takes it up the butt!
what does your poem mean?!
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Old 08-10-2005, 01:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Nu Afrikka takes it up the butt!
This it what it all boils down to:
God has a plan...
Satan has a plan...
And I have a plan...

The question is, whose plan will you follow?

Nice peice. Though it kind of turned me off at first, it was cool.
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Old 08-11-2005, 12:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I was hopeful about this piece in the beginning..although I'll be honest and by the end it had let me down. I think you started out with an interesting concept...but then there was just no exploration of the topic in which you wanted to convey to us...it just was what it was, and I don't think that really worked for this piece...I guess I just feel like you can't say something that a lot of people are going to be like....totally on the opposite end of the spectrum one way or another and then not follow through is the best way I can explain it. It just seemed like there was another story missing between the beginning & the end.
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Old 08-11-2005, 07:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I liked this piece.. got me thinking.. nice idea in it.
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