Senegal Seduction

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 08-02-2005, 12:08 AM

Senegal Seduction

He speaks with english diluted foreign tongue
And he lets his locs tickle my breasts
I don’t want to like him but….

Fingers rubbing scalp
Cornrow
Scalp
Cornrow
Scalp
Cornrow
Patterns twisted on my head
And his fingers massage my thoughts
Complicated
Elated, yet reserved
I don’t want to like him but…

He smells like sweat and sweet oils drenched in
Reggae and red lit clubs
Cigarettes and maybe 3 or four combinations of
Female
From grinding and maybe dancing to
Beats and rhythms heavy with ethnicity.
He feels like
Heartbeats at night and existing silence
He’s dark
And beautiful
And
Natural
I don’t want to like him but….

He wants to kiss me and I don’t let him

He wants to kiss me and I don’t let him

He wants to kiss me and I don’t let
Those dark smooth
Lovely lips to dance with mine
Mind cluttered
God
He is beautiful isn’t he…
He tastes my nipples and little flowers bloom in my
skin as if the sun said
“Come here”
Fingers glide in saturation
Fire
Match was lit
Dip
I don’t want to like him but….

Why does it feel this good?
Palms and cheeks
Penetration and heat
He put me to sleep
Conversations accompanied by
unstable consciousness
He caresses my face and rubs my back
Damn
Is this what the grown and sexy do?
I don’t want to like him but….

He talks to me
He talks to me
He really talks to me
And he says something
And I listen
He is peace
And chaos
Like night time among fireworks
Surprising but
Inevitable
Senegal seduction
I don’t want to like him but…..

I do.

twinkletoes · 08-02-2005, 12:26 AM

Wow! I could BE the speaker of this poem if you changed Senegal to St. Lucia! That's some dope shit, I'm reading this seriously wishing I wrote it.

The rhythm here is so captivating - I felt myself getting more mystified by the poem as I got further into it...that's a great way to hook your reader

One editing thing - I 4th full stanza - "Those lips to dance with mine..." I'd get rid of the "to," it breaks the flow...I'm not sure if it's a typo or not, but there's a suggestion if it's not...

Can't say enough good things about this one.

Quotive · 08-02-2005, 12:30 AM

Pure fire...

God damn, you and B have been writing the best shit I've ever seen on this board.. and I've been here for a while.

I don't know what to say about this poem really..

"He wants to kiss me and I don't let
Those dark smooth
Lovely lips to dance with mine"

Ill shit..

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 08-02-2005, 01:21 AM

Dayum, that is a huge compliment^^^^

Bhitiah actually kinda brought this outta me cause I was telling her this situation...lol

She was like..."let it ride.." So i just had to get this out..

He called me tonight too..I read it to him and he looooved it..

Thanks again you too!

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 08-03-2005, 06:20 PM

yah wake da fuc up!!
lol

RealMS · 08-04-2005, 12:24 AM

the title was enough for me...hah just playing. This was, well damn that line is played out-lol. Your pieces are nonchalant girl and that's kind of rare, from what I see and read these days. I mean I can tell you do spoken word. You're good with the writing skills, and just letting it flow. The stuff I read from you seem like it was never edited or something lol. Keep writing. Now that I've said that, do something different if not already! lol, keep it up.

-Much Love

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 08-04-2005, 09:27 AM

^^true, i don't edit much at all..unless i just F**Ked up on something..Sometimes I do add some but...rarely!

Tahnks!!lol

mr.rip · 08-04-2005, 04:34 PM

that was nothing but fire misskey

illpoetical · 08-04-2005, 10:54 PM

your pieces are so humanistic and real. like you are catching feelings for the paper as you write

skandelous_lala · 08-05-2005, 08:08 AM

Another amazing piece...what stuck out to me most in this was the flow it took on..you really catch a vibe just reading it.

screamer · 08-05-2005, 09:25 PM

I come by and peep once in a while (but dont say nothing) but know I feel so compllled to say that you are THE Fucking goddesss.... the way you explian things... your poetry is so amazing.. but a real goddess already knows these things so need I tell you. I am actually learning some important techniques when I read your peices.. for example. repetition. this at the right times, with the right lines really uppps the emotion for example:

Fingers rubbing scalp
Cornrow
Scalp
Cornrow
Scalp
Cornrow
Patterns twisted on my head
And his fingers massage my thoughts
Complicated
Elated, yet reserved
I don’t want to like him but…

Yess. hell yeah.

the repitition of "I dont want to like him but.." really conveys your "giving in" as the poem proceeds... only goddesses like your slef can so beautifully convey internal struggle.
Nice work.
screams

Bhitiah · 08-08-2005, 04:24 AM

Man...Did I not reply to this???

Yo, I already know about this. I remember when you were talkin bout him, rofl...How are things between ya'all?? lemme know.

Girl, This was tight...You already know how I feel tho.

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 08-08-2005, 11:24 AM

Well...uh..lets just say this piece was unique. We are cool but..let's just say the dude in Lady's Delight is not the same one!!lol

we'll talk!

Mind~$oul · 08-11-2005, 05:34 PM

If a woman can make me feel like that, I'll do anything she tells me to do.

Sexy piece

One luv

08-02-2005, 12:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	Senegal Seduction Senegal Seduction He speaks with english diluted foreign tongue And he lets his locs tickle my breasts I don’t want to like him but…. Fingers rubbing scalp Cornrow Scalp Cornrow Scalp Cornrow Patterns twisted on my head And his fingers massage my thoughts Complicated Elated, yet reserved I don’t want to like him but… He smells like sweat and sweet oils drenched in Reggae and red lit clubs Cigarettes and maybe 3 or four combinations of Female From grinding and maybe dancing to Beats and rhythms heavy with ethnicity. He feels like Heartbeats at night and existing silence He’s dark And beautiful And Natural I don’t want to like him but…. He wants to kiss me and I don’t let him He wants to kiss me and I don’t let him He wants to kiss me and I don’t let Those dark smooth Lovely lips to dance with mine Mind cluttered God He is beautiful isn’t he… He tastes my nipples and little flowers bloom in my skin as if the sun said “Come here” Fingers glide in saturation Fire Match was lit Dip I don’t want to like him but…. Why does it feel this good? Palms and cheeks Penetration and heat He put me to sleep Conversations accompanied by unstable consciousness He caresses my face and rubs my back Damn Is this what the grown and sexy do? I don’t want to like him but…. He talks to me He talks to me He really talks to me And he says something And I listen He is peace And chaos Like night time among fireworks Surprising but Inevitable Senegal seduction I don’t want to like him but….. I do. __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

08-02-2005, 12:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
twinkletoes Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Melbourne, Florida Posts: 118	Wow! I could BE the speaker of this poem if you changed Senegal to St. Lucia! That's some dope shit, I'm reading this seriously wishing I wrote it. The rhythm here is so captivating - I felt myself getting more mystified by the poem as I got further into it...that's a great way to hook your reader One editing thing - I 4th full stanza - "Those lips to dance with mine..." I'd get rid of the "to," it breaks the flow...I'm not sure if it's a typo or not, but there's a suggestion if it's not... Can't say enough good things about this one. __________________ "Even the sun goes down - Heros eventually die - Horoscopes often lie." - OUTKAST

08-02-2005, 01:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	Dayum, that is a huge compliment^^^^ Bhitiah actually kinda brought this outta me cause I was telling her this situation...lol She was like..."let it ride.." So i just had to get this out.. He called me tonight too..I read it to him and he looooved it.. Thanks again you too! __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

08-03-2005, 06:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	yah wake da fuc up!! lol __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

08-04-2005, 09:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	^^true, i don't edit much at all..unless i just FKed up on something..Sometimes I do add some but...rarely! Tahnks!!lol __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches ********************* The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

08-04-2005, 12:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,230	the title was enough for me...hah just playing. This was, well damn that line is played out-lol. Your pieces are nonchalant girl and that's kind of rare, from what I see and read these days. I mean I can tell you do spoken word. You're good with the writing skills, and just letting it flow. The stuff I read from you seem like it was never edited or something lol. Keep writing. Now that I've said that, do something different if not already! lol, keep it up. -Much Love

08-04-2005, 04:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
mr.rip Registered User Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: 1-800 Posts: 19,797	that was nothing but fire misskey __________________ SEXYBLACK3030@aol.com

08-04-2005, 10:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
illpoetical raising the bar everyday Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Long Island Posts: 1,533	your pieces are so humanistic and real. like you are catching feelings for the paper as you write __________________ How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live. The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.

08-05-2005, 08:08 AM	#10 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	Another amazing piece...what stuck out to me most in this was the flow it took on..you really catch a vibe just reading it. __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

08-05-2005, 09:25 PM	#11 (permalink)
screamer Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 182	I come by and peep once in a while (but dont say nothing) but know I feel so compllled to say that you are THE Fucking goddesss.... the way you explian things... your poetry is so amazing.. but a real goddess already knows these things so need I tell you. I am actually learning some important techniques when I read your peices.. for example. repetition. this at the right times, with the right lines really uppps the emotion for example: Fingers rubbing scalp Cornrow Scalp Cornrow Scalp Cornrow Patterns twisted on my head And his fingers massage my thoughts Complicated Elated, yet reserved I don’t want to like him but… Yess. hell yeah. the repitition of "I dont want to like him but.." really conveys your "giving in" as the poem proceeds... only goddesses like your slef can so beautifully convey internal struggle. Nice work. screams

08-08-2005, 04:24 AM	#12 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	Man...Did I not reply to this??? Yo, I already know about this. I remember when you were talkin bout him, rofl...How are things between ya'all?? lemme know. Girl, This was tight...You already know how I feel tho. __________________ You can bomb the world to peices, but cant bomb into peace

08-08-2005, 11:24 AM	#13 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	Well...uh..lets just say this piece was unique. We are cool but..let's just say the dude in Lady's Delight is not the same one!!lol we'll talk! __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

08-11-2005, 05:34 PM	#14 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	If a woman can make me feel like that, I'll do anything she tells me to do. Sexy piece One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

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