The kids are being too loud

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Old 08-01-2005, 06:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Bhitiah takes it up the butt!
The kids are being too loud
You never understood me,

This is how I felt
at 13...
Losing Dreams
In my sleep...
Imagine being,
Alone
not-grown
but too old
to ask to be held...
So I slipped on the hard ground
every time,
EVERYTIME
I came home to find a note
left on the kitchen counter...
Be Home Late
Love, Your mother

What size are those jeans,
3?
Are you gaining weight?
Tiah, Go to sleep
Take this creame
rub it underneath
your eyes...
You look tired,
A lady should never look tired.
Tiah,
Tell your sister that shirt she had this morning,
Makes her look fat...
Tiah..
I dont care she's only 8
Dont back talk me
Please, It's been a long day
Tiah,
Take care of your sister
You dont want to be the older sister
with the fat little sister
tagging along, Do you?
Tiah,
Are you gaining weight?


This is where the screaming starts...

Naomi, Those kids are being to loud
Naomi, Those kids are being to loud
Naomi...
James, The kids are asleep..
They are not, I heard them
walking around, creeping around
Did Tiah sneak out again?
Go check
Go CHECK
Damn It, I'll go check

TIAH,
BITHIAH NAOMI GRAY
TIAH!
GET UP
GET OUT OF THAT BED
...Where did you just come from?
Where are your pajama's
Those are sweatpants
Those are boxers
Those arent pajama's
Tiah, Are you gaining weight?

Naomi, Your daughter just came through that window
Get my hammer, I'mma nail it shut
Tiah, You like to sneak out?
Try to get out
I SAID,
TRY TO GET OUT
Naomi, Was that Justin??
I think Justin came home...
Justin...HEY
It's your daddy

...James, Justin is dead.

And the screaming stops...

Bithiah, Go back to bed
Why do you do this to daddy
and make him so upset
Just, Get into bed

And, I'm back
to where I was in the first place
an average day in my 13 year old history
and if you mention me
to my father these days
he doesnt remember those nights

My baby girl,
She was my princess
My first born daughter
the key that unlocked my cold heart
and made me marry her mother

I think about my brother
who was born before me
and wonder if,
since he's gone before me
if he's up there
wondering why my father's
lying to my face

He was the only one that told me I was beautiful
My brother that is...
See my father, He wasnt home during the day
He came home nights
Wouldnt believe the rampage that came
out of this small spanish man
and spanish men are known for the tempers
but this man decided to ignore his heritiage
and stay calm...
Until the nightsweats started
and he couldnt stand the images of his dearly departed
son...
And my mother?
She never came home
Until daddy was about there...
She was afraid to leave us alone...
That is, With him.

Since my family lost one,
I had to be perfect
and inorder to be perfect
I had to stay thin
Which means, I had to stop eatin'
Which is the same habit my mom picked up
when she was my age
matter of fact, I think she still has it now
To make matters worse
I picked up
Drugs and the love of leaving
Tho, I could never leave my kids
I told the boy outside my window
to wait 10 minutes...
When I was, Just a scared kid...
Imaginin'
What it would be like
To be free of all this insanity
that caught me, in its web..

Cause Nightly,
all I heard was...

Naomi, The kids are being too loud
Naomi, The kids are being too loud
Naomi...

Until she said,

James, All the kids have moved out...

And, I'm scared for my mother cause...
Where does all his anger go now?
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Old 08-01-2005, 10:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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not-grown
but too old
to ask to be held...<--yep.


My mama used to get on me about that weight drama too lol. One day it was oh you gained some weight I see, and the next week it was like brenda you need to start eating more. Blah. Basically everything from clothes {why don't you dress more like a woman (forgot my age?)} to just being this perfect little resemblance of her. Nothing's perfect though. But anyway, man that ending was nice. You say it was long but it wasn't really for me lol. Keep writing

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Old 08-02-2005, 12:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Nicely written poem..

This was like, perfect. I think you're going to win poem of the month with this, I can almost see it now...

I've been trying to write like you lately, in sort of an abstract way, with a lot of stuff going on in my life. I love your poetry... it's so fucking deep, and fun to read.

You go girl! lol
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Old 08-02-2005, 12:12 AM   #4 (permalink)
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MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!MISSKEYdaQUEEN will do you doggie style!
You know how i feel about this!!!

You already f**kin know!
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Old 08-02-2005, 03:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
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*clap clap clap* takes alot to put something up like that for anyone to say or put something like that out for people. I applaude you and it's bitter sweet for someone to have to face that to make something this beautiful. -1-
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Old 08-04-2005, 11:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Wicked5744 takes it up the butt!
I'm with Quotive on this one. Keep this one on the page because it's deep. This was well written and easy to understand. Definately a great poem. Keep the ink flowin.
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Old 08-04-2005, 01:08 PM   #7 (permalink)
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UFO the Phoenix takes it up the butt!
I'm starstruck with this

I dont know what to say B

you really out did yourself with this one
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Old 08-04-2005, 05:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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ManMadeofAshes takes it up the butt!
long peice but a veryy nice read. One of a few I tackle and don't care about when the ending is coming. (sometimes I force myself to read a long peice out of respect because I often write long poems too)

I like how you make the poem personal with the use of names. I think its helps a lot, to make it feel more personal. Its like.. the first thing you learn when you met a person is their name.

the first stanza is so well constructed that any lull in the poem is easily accepted. It doesn't matter if the poem slows because you set a good foundation. I have always thought your work is very interesting. Or perhaps I am describing your poetic voice. Its calm and soothing to me and for all I know your screaming FIRE.

dope work. Glad you shared the pains of growing up. Weve all been there, in different ways.

I can relate to the gaining weight thing. I was a fat kid and even my mom called be three roll (as opposed to the ideal six pack she wished for) My sister is a knockout and she still has a shitty ass self esteem... I dont know.. just the way you wrote this. It reminded me of growing up. Its like someone talking you through the photo albulm and connection each picture to the next. Except the photo's are of you not them.

I dont know. Great poem. I love anything that helps me remember.
good or bad, I want to remember.

ashes
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Old 08-05-2005, 05:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
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FreakEmoWriter9 takes it up the butt!
my favorite of all the ones i've read so far. this poem really forces you to see the picture that you really painted with the words in this piece. no other way to say it, this is picture that will forever stay in my mind.
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Old 08-09-2005, 07:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You showed me this piece before you posted it and I couldn't really describe how I felt after reading it. Now after reading it a second time I'm still in a lost of words. You taking it to another level with your personal poems. It's like once you get one out of you, you can't stop. I've said many times before, it takes a lot from a person to write something like this. Great piece

One luv
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Old 08-09-2005, 08:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
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completely dope and very inspirational

and i loved the dialouge you used in this
it was almost like reading a very interesting chapter in a book
you are never at a loss of words
once again you had so much to say i dont really think it would be fair for me to try to analyze your thoughts

this was one of the best ive read from you so far
always so confessional and open...
Last edited by ~Eloquent; 08-09-2005 at 08:28 PM.
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Old 08-09-2005, 08:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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v0id takes it up the butt!v0id takes it up the butt!
i like it.
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Old 08-10-2005, 02:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Coined takes it up the butt!
I loved this B, I will try to add more to my reply when I get home but you already know how I feel about your writting
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Old 08-11-2005, 12:02 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It's so personal..that it almost hurts to read it...I don't really know how to describe it, but as usual..every single thing you wanted to convey to the reader..at least to me and judging by others responses, really came through and hit the reader.

I could say a lot more about this piece..but I won't bother... I mean it's written wonderfully...and I love the fact that you can open up and share so much with us here.
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Old 08-12-2005, 02:12 PM   #15 (permalink)
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The Pharcyde takes it up the butt!
you have a gift of bringing us, the reader, into your story (yeah, i know that's cliche)
thank you for blessing us again.
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Old 08-12-2005, 07:56 PM   #16 (permalink)
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twinkletoes takes it up the butt!
Wow - if people only knew what their words (or lack there of) and actions (or lack there of) do to others...

very heartfelt
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Old 08-13-2005, 05:22 AM   #17 (permalink)
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iceheart takes it up the butt!
And, I'm scared for my mother cause...
Where does all his anger go now?
^damn

that was...
painful.
i heard the words, i felt the pain.
damn.
you are a trooper, and for making it through shit like that, i give you mad respect. i know how hard it is to go through that. the fact that you are still alive means you had the courage to hold on.

reminds me of a magnet on a fridge that changed my life... said
"if you are going through hell..........
keep going."

mad respect.
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