Ballad of the Mermaid

This is a discussion on Ballad of the Mermaid within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; peep the spoken version http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/sirberus_music.htm This is actually a big metaphor for this girl im crushing on hardcore.. she loves ...


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Old 05-23-2005, 07:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
sirberus mu'fawka
 
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Ballad of the Mermaid

peep the spoken version
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/sirberus_music.htm


This is actually a big metaphor for this girl im crushing on hardcore.. she loves
the little mermaid.. so i wrote this for her.. im a pussy.





He was a fisherman riding the winds of the vast ocean
following the current speaking to the water as it was flowin
even tho it was his job, it wasnt his passion
he was a poet, a wordsmith, an artisan, a speech craftsman
but he lost his ambition, you could say it died with him
he was murdered by himself, society locked him in a prison
a loner by nature on the search for somethin greater
he decided to be a fisherman instead of what he favored
for months he'd be out to sea, in search of shrimp and fish
not quite content with the way he lived, he felt somethin a miss
then one night the stars seemed to by smiling down
and the moon was full, he heard an angelic sound
it came from his net, which was floating in the water
confused and amazed by the voice, his gaze caught her
which actually caught him, he staggard to the deck
looked down, at the sea and out of his net, popped a head
now throughout his life he never saw such a creature
her hair seemed to grab him, as the water reflected her features
she looked deep into his eyes, questioning his soul
but found no bad intent, just an abandoned and lonely road
she could tell from his eyes, his body had lost its soul
but when he saw her, it came back and started to grow
so the fisherman jumped into the water, cut the woman free
but when he looked below her waist, he was shocked to find no feet


a purple fin decorated with coral reefs n stars
perfect in its own right with no blemishes or scars
she threw him a wink and a thank you for saving her skin
gave a wave goodbye, dove in, and the stars went dim
clouds covered the moon and the sky faded to black
the water turned cold, but still the fisherman never turned back
he stayed wading in the ocean, still in awe of what he seen
lust turned to envy, contentment vanished into a fiend
after a few hours, he finally got onto his boat
sailed home that day, locked himself in his room and he wrote
finally he emerged, with a few pages in his hand
and set sail for where they met, hoping to see her again
and sure enough, there she was as beautiful as he can remember
a murmaid in the ocean, a red rose in december
their eyes met, and she waved, the fisherman froze in surpise
she remembered him, and she smiled, the fisherman could of died
after a long moment of silence, he asked her to come close and listen
she did, and he read her the poems about her that he'd written
she loved them, and she smiled, the fisherman felt complete
to make a goddess happy was thought to be an impossible feat
she threw him a wink and a thank you for making her grin
gave a wave goodbye, dove in, and the stars went dim
clouds covered the oon and the sky faded to black
the water turned cold, but still the man never turned back

and from then on, the fisherman had her on his head
a yearning filled the emptiness, a place he thought was dead
floating on the waters, he continued to write for her
nothing else seemed to matter, everything except her was a blur
this is infatuation, he stayed at the same spot for days
soaking in the moon beams, drying in the sun rays
until he saw her again, but this sime she didnt see him
she was with a murman and what looked like the mermaids kid
the fisherman watched with a smile, as they continued to play
a tear dropped from his eye, he set sail and sailed away
that night on the ocean, a storm brewed somethin fierce
the fisherman was drunk on the deck, cursing himself, his fears
screaming at the sky, why cant i be that murman instead?
the wind blew his answer, knocking the sail into his head
he fell into the ocean, drowned, and eventually died
to say he died a happy man would be a horrible lie
his spirit seem to sink as he sighed, for making him grim
gave a wave goodbye, dove in, and the stars went dim
clouds covered the moon and the sky faded to black
the water turned cold, and the fisherman never came back
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Last edited by ill skillz; 05-25-2005 at 05:32 PM.
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Old 05-24-2005, 04:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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this was very clever man...
very imaginative and a great gesture to show someone you feel they're unique
hopefully not jumpin to conclusions about her though...
cuz nothin hurts worse when that happens...
overall this was very well written and passionate...
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Old 05-25-2005, 05:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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ill skillz takes it up the butt!
^ thanks.. appreciate it
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Old 05-26-2005, 11:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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interesting

very creative.....Love the intro running into the verse and the hook running into the words along with free thought.....Really enjoy the spoken word simple flow for this....the beat worked too.....lil mermaid....I aint gonna lie I use to like that movie....old school I remember when my uncle took me and my sister to see it in theaters....lol.....man.....anyway I love the metaphor....the harsh truth....the storytelling....a red rose in decemeber?!?!?....the flow was on point.....the imagery was so good I could picture this with the words....like a music video

very nice
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Old 05-30-2005, 12:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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ill skillz takes it up the butt!
^^ thanks man.. i appreciate you peepin
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Old 06-03-2005, 12:50 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I read the poem before listening to the audio. At first I wasn't really feeling it because it felt too sing-songy to me. Rhymes were just a little too simple and predictable. But after hearing the audio I had a better appreciation for it. You did pretty good job with this. Uppin for you

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