Deadly Love

This is a discussion on Deadly Love within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Leave your hand prints on my body To show where you have been Make a memory in your mind Of ...


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Old 05-23-2005, 06:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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babygrrl820 takes it up the butt!
Deadly Love
Leave your hand prints on my body
To show where you have been
Make a memory in your mind
Of all you have seen

Taste my lips of poison
Caress what I hide
Touch every part of me
Feel me from inside

Drink my blood of life
Stare into mysterious eyes
See through to my soul
Past hidden truth and lies

Read my mind of troubles
Understand my every move
Know every detour of my body
From every last curve to groove

Watch my body dance
To the wind of the song I hear
Her my voice sing sadly
Know the story of every tear

Don’t see me as I show me
But how you know it to be true
See through all that is hidden
See the reason I hide from you

Watch me in my locked prison
In a world of broken dreams
Where everything is twisted
And nothing is as it seems

Brake the bars around me
Retrieve and set my soul free
Watch me create a dream world
Where there is only you and me

Hold me under it's full moon
With glittering stares above
Kiss my crystal tears away
With me make deadly love
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!
Don’t see me as I show me
But how you know it to be true
See through all that is hidden
See the reason I hide from you
this stanza I liked best. It just has a dark but wondrous element included within it. Some lines I've seen before-and there's that chance to elevate. The thought deadly love itself-its beautiful to the other person, but like you said, everything you are is basically shielded.
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Old 05-26-2005, 05:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
Never really liked this type of rhyme scheme. But this was a pretty decent poem. RealMS pointed out what I wanted to say about it being dark but still lovey in some parts. Nothing really else just stood out to me. Keep them coming

One luv
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Old 05-26-2005, 11:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good piece! I enjoyed reading this, much better than I initally anticipated, I can't wait to see more from you .
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Old 06-01-2005, 02:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Bhitiah takes it up the butt!
"Leave your hand prints on my body
To show where you have been"

^^ that was tight, loved the openin'
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Old 06-01-2005, 01:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Da Shorty Man takes it up the butt!
with the opening, i guess i didnt think it would end up being so dark

more of a cry for help almost ...

sounds like you got some things in your closet ... as we all do ...

maybe a fear of opening up or being intimate ... or commitment ...

this is just what i got from it ...

definately thought provoking ... which is good

nyce
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Old 06-06-2005, 03:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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this piece was incredible girl. you write poems how i write poems. maybe we could collab on somethin' sometime?
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Old 06-07-2005, 09:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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ILLASTYX takes it up the butt!
this was a pretty nice drop like the detail with in made me do lil thinking about these things and discriptions of love and its feelings of being in it or feeling what someone should be like if they do love u i guess well thats my perception anyway
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post12087691
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Old 06-08-2005, 03:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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koban4max takes it up the butt!
this poem is deadly...
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