-Subliminally Realistic- (So what? Throw away the Key)

RealMS · 05-19-2005, 07:38 PM

When I’m human normally I stay away from the rise of fire and its flames
…I can’t stop from playing with the switch.

As if I’m experimenting
…I’ve done this before…
wanting to see a new reaction,
I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling
…you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure…

and So ready I am
however this world has my permission to leave (me) at any pace
didn’t he acknowledge I couldn’t follow him, her,
my mentality does not leave me much choice

…Time to retrace…
going back up and around the curves
I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in
Something called
Discipline
But one does not need to be taught thoroughly
At least I feel not me.

Sensitive to this touch
Stop touching the sharpness of the…
It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is
Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom

Off and on,
On and on…on and on
On.

I need an overdose of that sun ray
It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain.
Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady
Looking at you
You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…

this is the first thing I've written this week that I feel is somewhat decent. It has some hidden meanings to it I guess.

Bhitiah · 05-19-2005, 08:52 PM

"I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling
…you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure…"

"I need an overdose of that sun ray
It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain.
Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady
Looking at you
You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…"

Damn girl ....This was mos def tight ...

I feel you, ya know I do....

AND, I aint never got no questions? lol ...

skandelous_lala · 05-19-2005, 10:33 PM

I loved the ending to it..that is the part that stuck out to me the most for sure

Well done, thanks for sharing!

Pent uP · 05-20-2005, 12:16 PM

ITS ME
"Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom

Off and on,
On and on…on and on
On."

and that speaks for it right there! hahahaha

nah whatsup though

im writing this half asleep for the sake of replying to your thread so -- this picked up kind of slowly but it ended with such force and had a real sub-surface messege to it which made it more enticing because you (or at least I) could see a msg below the words.....my stomach hurts

<3 you stay up, thanks for the read

eM-T · 05-20-2005, 05:15 PM

ahh realms I love your poems. They are so thoughtful. Its amazing because I read many a poems in the realm where it is obvious a lot of thought went into the poem.. but more directed towards structure and rhythm and soon your reading a poem with fancy flows and no content. I dont think I have ever seen that from you. I dont even fully understand this poem beyond the meaning I can give it.... but.. it works. it uh.... yea it works really well and you seem to have no trouble accomplishing that.... . . .you bitch. haha jk.

maybe you can explain some of the hidden meanings?

*kiss kiss*
-eMmTeaa

RealMS · 05-20-2005, 05:59 PM

^K well my PM'n system keeps telling me that I have to wait 60 seconds but I only PM'd someone once, and that was way over a minute ago

The beginning parts of this poem kinda sound like I'm talking about cutting myself, but NO it's no where near that stuff lol. The other night I was at my friend's house and we were sittin on his front porch and he was about to light one up so I took the lighter out of his hand and I just started playing with it (thats what I'm talking about in the poem). I didn't actually burn myself with it lol, but I was just playin around.

But, in the same sense I'm also talking about my friend. He's just lost in himself right now, goin through things (who isn't, that's what I'm trying to get through to him about). Yet he's telling me all the things I need/should do, thats right for me. Like making a big deal out of nothing; I came to see how you was doin, don't turn it all around and base the time on me.

Anyway yep-it gets no more simple than that buddy!

wow, that's the first time anyone's called me a bitch, and didn't mean it.

haha, just playin. First time someone's called me a bitch, and I let them get away with it. Been awhile.

Anyhoo-Thank you-for reading.

fluentvoice · 05-20-2005, 07:30 PM

consistently captured my attention; good imagery

"…Time to retrace…
going back up and around the curves
I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in
Something called
Discipline
But one does not need to be taught thoroughly
At least I feel not me."

i particularly like this stanza

a good read

kyza soza · 05-21-2005, 07:32 AM

going back up and around the curves
I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in

^gave me the image of elequence, iuno why.

Sensitive to this touch
Stop touching the sharpness of the…
It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is
Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom

^sweetness.

I'm really feeling this, the words seemed not to jump off the page at me, but glide off the page with grace, like water running off the edge of paper.

How Come.. we don't even talk no more
And you don't even call no more
We don't barely keep in touch at all
And I don't even feel the same love when we hug no more

lol.

Hollatchaboi.

Much love sweetheart.

screamer · 05-23-2005, 07:46 PM

I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling

Okay, I am going to start off nagging about this line... this line has to many kahs and constantants and it threw the poem off for me.

Howver, you painted a very vivid picture, and I appreicte the abstactness, you got me thinking of some little guys livin in our brains flippin on and off sparks fo neurological activity,.

Sensitive to this touch
Stop touching the sharpness of the…
It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is
Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom

This is an incredible stanza... it made me think about how soemtimes we use eachother to feel a void. we are emptyness makes us numb slaves to on and off switches. I may be way off... but thats usually the case.

da sein · 05-24-2005, 02:03 PM

this peice begins with alot of abstract linear references

you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure…
^^some lines like this were more grounded but didnt go anywhere
but...

and So ready I am
however this world has my permission to leave (me) at any pace
didn’t he acknowledge I couldn’t follow him, her,
my mentality does not leave me much choice

^^this stanza mended all the loose connections...the piece really picked up movement here

It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is
Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom
^^
great line...

I need an overdose of that sun ray
It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain.
Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady
Looking at you
You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…
^^
the first and thrid lines are ausome...

but as i said...or you said the hidden meaning is here and truely
for me to really appreciate what your trying to say
you should get down to what your trying to say
u know what i mean?
in and of itself this is alright but what its doing isnt
exactly worethwhile in respects to the reader...
seems like a piece you wrote for you...

~Eloquent · 05-24-2005, 04:41 PM

wow this was completely beautiful
especially the last lines...
heartbreaking but still so bright and vivid....
for one i know you'll never lose your divine curiousity to really find out the true hidden meaning

I need an overdose of that sun ray
It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain.
Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady
Looking at you
You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…

that reminds me of like a break up but i guess im wrong on that...
though it was very captivating...

Truf DX · 05-25-2005, 09:15 PM

I took my own meaning from dis poem and i enjoyed it...in lines like
"my mentality does'nt leave me much choice"
i felt you were saying as a person wit a low focus rate dont expect me to live life like you do or keep up with your expectations cus i dont really hope to live dat life
and the line about
"penciling out of line" and not having "discipline" represents delinquence and no structure basically like my life
nice interesting drop very insightful
TrufFully Spittin OUT

Poet x · 05-26-2005, 12:58 PM

I enjoyed this piece, i liked the imagery, and i think it was well writen, ima keep ,my eye out for you to see what else u got

Brit Boi Gee · 05-29-2005, 01:56 PM

This was an interesting piece. I thought it the title of subliminal suited it well as it seemed to depict intricate thoughts which at times makes it hard to follow what you actually mean. It really makes the reader think. It was imaginative, and a little cryptic, my favourite part was:

It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is
Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom

Thanks for sharing
Keep it up!

6ftground · 06-04-2005, 02:38 PM

THE REAL!
WHATS BEEN GOOD?
I see you still deep with passion in writing words together as if you painted them on my screen...
You a great artist on the rise...Atleast in my cyber world..
I like this piece it had dept in-which it grasp the meaning of finding true love(i think!) Over all MYlady this was a nice drop.....PEace
6!

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealMS

When I’m human normally I stay away from the rise of fire and its flames
…I can’t stop from playing with the switch.

As if I’m experimenting
…I’ve done this before…
wanting to see a new reaction,
I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling
…you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure…

and So ready I am
however this world has my permission to leave (me) at any pace
didn’t he acknowledge I couldn’t follow him, her,
my mentality does not leave me much choice

…Time to retrace…
going back up and around the curves
I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in
Something called
Discipline
But one does not need to be taught thoroughly
At least I feel not me.

Sensitive to this touch
Stop touching the sharpness of the…
It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is
Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom

Off and on,
On and on…on and on
On.

I need an overdose of that sun ray
It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain.
Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady
Looking at you
You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…

this is the first thing I've written this week that I feel is somewhat decent. It has some hidden meanings to it I guess.

Halloween Jack · 06-06-2005, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealMS

When I’m human normally I stay away from the rise of fire and its flames
…I can’t stop from playing with the switch.

wow! deep, real deep...

As if I’m experimenting
…I’ve done this before…
wanting to see a new reaction,
I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling
…you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure…

damn girl, you're killin it...

…Time to retrace…
going back up and around the curves
I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in
Something called
Discipline
But one does not need to be taught thoroughly
At least I feel not me.

wow. so many meanings....

I need an overdose of that sun ray
It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain.
Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady
Looking at you
You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…

i think you've found Atlantis with this one miss...

this is the first thing I've written this week that I feel is somewhat decent. It has some hidden meanings to it I guess.

wow. everytime i read your work i'm reminded of why i come to this site... please keep being the ray of light that you are realm... truly one of a kind... stay strong ladyluv... 1.

UFO the Phoenix · 06-06-2005, 08:47 PM

^I must agree with the crowd this was amazing

I've been off and on with this poem taking it in and out....I've think I've read this like 3 or 4 times now and just now coming in to respond after re-reading and re-living this poem....I dunno what to say realms....which would explain why I havent responded...................

.................

your style is perfecting....its scary because its so clean cut ya know....you can do the rhyme thing...poetic touch with a hint of mystery.....

I'm ah shut up about it

and
just
say

props

ILLASTYX · 06-07-2005, 08:51 AM

simply put with out to much wording this shit was dope kid the ending especaily and the second part

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post12087691

05-19-2005, 07:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,236	-Subliminally Realistic- (So what? Throw away the Key) When I’m human normally I stay away from the rise of fire and its flames …I can’t stop from playing with the switch. As if I’m experimenting …I’ve done this before… wanting to see a new reaction, I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling …you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure… and So ready I am however this world has my permission to leave (me) at any pace didn’t he acknowledge I couldn’t follow him, her, my mentality does not leave me much choice …Time to retrace… going back up and around the curves I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in Something called Discipline But one does not need to be taught thoroughly At least I feel not me. Sensitive to this touch Stop touching the sharpness of the… It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom Off and on, On and on…on and on On. I need an overdose of that sun ray It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain. Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady Looking at you You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade… this is the first thing I've written this week that I feel is somewhat decent. It has some hidden meanings to it I guess. Last edited by RealMS; 05-19-2005 at 07:40 PM.

05-19-2005, 08:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	"I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling …you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure…" "I need an overdose of that sun ray It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain. Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady Looking at you You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade…" Damn girl ....This was mos def tight ... I feel you, ya know I do.... AND, I aint never got no questions? lol ... __________________ You can bomb the world to peices, but cant bomb into peace

05-19-2005, 10:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	I loved the ending to it..that is the part that stuck out to me the most for sure Well done, thanks for sharing! __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

05-20-2005, 05:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
eM-T Because We Are Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: inDarkness Posts: 148	ahh realms I love your poems. They are so thoughtful. Its amazing because I read many a poems in the realm where it is obvious a lot of thought went into the poem.. but more directed towards structure and rhythm and soon your reading a poem with fancy flows and no content. I dont think I have ever seen that from you. I dont even fully understand this poem beyond the meaning I can give it.... but.. it works. it uh.... yea it works really well and you seem to have no trouble accomplishing that.... . . .you bitch. haha jk. maybe you can explain some of the hidden meanings? kiss kiss -eMmTeaa __________________ I made out with Jesus. www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes ^anyone on this shit ought to hit me up. kiss kiss

05-26-2005, 12:58 PM	#13 (permalink)
Poet x a ploy at being human... Join Date: May 2005 Location: wouldn't you like to know Posts: 138	I enjoyed this piece, i liked the imagery, and i think it was well writen, ima keep ,my eye out for you to see what else u got __________________ ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.... as for the rest of you, im open to suggestions.... *LiVh WeLL*

05-20-2005, 05:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,236	^K well my PM'n system keeps telling me that I have to wait 60 seconds but I only PM'd someone once, and that was way over a minute ago The beginning parts of this poem kinda sound like I'm talking about cutting myself, but NO it's no where near that stuff lol. The other night I was at my friend's house and we were sittin on his front porch and he was about to light one up so I took the lighter out of his hand and I just started playing with it (thats what I'm talking about in the poem). I didn't actually burn myself with it lol, but I was just playin around. But, in the same sense I'm also talking about my friend. He's just lost in himself right now, goin through things (who isn't, that's what I'm trying to get through to him about). Yet he's telling me all the things I need/should do, thats right for me. Like making a big deal out of nothing; I came to see how you was doin, don't turn it all around and base the time on me. Anyway yep-it gets no more simple than that buddy! wow, that's the first time anyone's called me a bitch, and didn't mean it. haha, just playin. First time someone's called me a bitch, and I let them get away with it. Been awhile. Anyhoo-Thank you-for reading.

05-20-2005, 07:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
fluentvoice Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 101	consistently captured my attention; good imagery "…Time to retrace… going back up and around the curves I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in Something called Discipline But one does not need to be taught thoroughly At least I feel not me." i particularly like this stanza a good read

05-21-2005, 07:32 AM	#8 (permalink)
kyza soza This way up. Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 16,570	going back up and around the curves I’m penciling out of line-why don’t you push me back in ^gave me the image of elequence, iuno why. Sensitive to this touch Stop touching the sharpness of the… It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom ^sweetness. I'm really feeling this, the words seemed not to jump off the page at me, but glide off the page with grace, like water running off the edge of paper. How Come.. we don't even talk no more And you don't even call no more We don't barely keep in touch at all And I don't even feel the same love when we hug no more lol. Hollatchaboi. Much love sweetheart.

05-23-2005, 07:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
screamer Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 182	I risk a quick sharpness to leave me the after effect feeling Okay, I am going to start off nagging about this line... this line has to many kahs and constantants and it threw the poem off for me. Howver, you painted a very vivid picture, and I appreicte the abstactness, you got me thinking of some little guys livin in our brains flippin on and off sparks fo neurological activity,. Sensitive to this touch Stop touching the sharpness of the… It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom This is an incredible stanza... it made me think about how soemtimes we use eachother to feel a void. we are emptyness makes us numb slaves to on and off switches. I may be way off... but thats usually the case.

05-24-2005, 02:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
da sein feel influence Join Date: May 2005 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 48	this peice begins with alot of abstract linear references you know the consequences but you don’t admit to ever being so sure… ^^some lines like this were more grounded but didnt go anywhere but... and So ready I am however this world has my permission to leave (me) at any pace didn’t he acknowledge I couldn’t follow him, her, my mentality does not leave me much choice ^^this stanza mended all the loose connections...the piece really picked up movement here It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom ^^ great line... I need an overdose of that sun ray It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain. Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady Looking at you You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade… ^^ the first and thrid lines are ausome... but as i said...or you said the hidden meaning is here and truely for me to really appreciate what your trying to say you should get down to what your trying to say u know what i mean? in and of itself this is alright but what its doing isnt exactly worethwhile in respects to the reader... seems like a piece you wrote for you...

05-24-2005, 04:41 PM	#11 (permalink)
~Eloquent Cold Logic Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: trapped where i cant leave,Florida Posts: 3,825	wow this was completely beautiful especially the last lines... heartbreaking but still so bright and vivid.... for one i know you'll never lose your divine curiousity to really find out the true hidden meaning I need an overdose of that sun ray It was said ultra-violets had the effect to affect the waves within my brain. Except the sunset has landed and it slowly grows beautifully steady Looking at you You’re still the same, trying too hard to block my shade… that reminds me of like a break up but i guess im wrong on that... though it was very captivating...

05-25-2005, 09:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
Truf DX Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 38	I took my own meaning from dis poem and i enjoyed it...in lines like "my mentality does'nt leave me much choice" i felt you were saying as a person wit a low focus rate dont expect me to live life like you do or keep up with your expectations cus i dont really hope to live dat life and the line about "penciling out of line" and not having "discipline" represents delinquence and no structure basically like my life nice interesting drop very insightful TrufFully Spittin OUT

05-29-2005, 01:56 PM	#14 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,977	This was an interesting piece. I thought it the title of subliminal suited it well as it seemed to depict intricate thoughts which at times makes it hard to follow what you actually mean. It really makes the reader think. It was imaginative, and a little cryptic, my favourite part was: It’s not pain, but look in my eyes sit parallel upfront to see what it is Never pleasure…but you’re a relief to the symptom Thanks for sharing Keep it up! __________________ They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. -Bob Monkhouse Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer

06-06-2005, 08:47 PM	#17 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	^I must agree with the crowd this was amazing I've been off and on with this poem taking it in and out....I've think I've read this like 3 or 4 times now and just now coming in to respond after re-reading and re-living this poem....I dunno what to say realms....which would explain why I havent responded................... ................. your style is perfecting....its scary because its so clean cut ya know....you can do the rhyme thing...poetic touch with a hint of mystery..... I'm ah shut up about it and just say props __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

06-07-2005, 08:51 AM	#18 (permalink)
ILLASTYX SHINNING FINGER !!!!!!!!! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: unknown Posts: 179	simply put with out to much wording this shit was dope kid the ending especaily and the second part http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post12087691 Last edited by ILLASTYX; 06-07-2005 at 09:32 AM.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode