Turn Back

misspimp · 05-08-2005, 12:09 AM

If I could turn back the hands of time...
I'd still be a nineteen year old virgin...
I'd still be writing my heart out with a purpose...
I'd be learning more...
And speaking less...
If I could turn back the hands of time...
I'd be a success!
But I can't.
So the mess...I've messed.
Has to be completely assesed & picked apart.
The words in my heart
are adraid of themselves.
If I could yell,
I wouldn't.
The stories my walls would tell,
have a reason to be hidden.
Listen...
To all that noise,
The silence toys with me.
There's a purpose for my life.
There's a reason for all the tears I cry.
So many questions...
Why Lord Why?
How God how?
So many demands.
I need more,
I need more now.
Laying down,
But can't sleep.
Smiling widely,
But there is no peace.
And even tho when our eyes meet,
The connection feels so deep,
Even tho our brains roam,
But meet up later on,
I know that when it all falls down...
It crumbles...
But if I could turn back the hands of time...
Maybe my heart and mind...
Wouldnt be so troubled...

-Ek

Bhitiah · 05-08-2005, 12:30 AM

"I'd be learning more...
And speaking less..." <<that's hott

"If I could yell,
I wouldn't.
The stories my walls would tell,
have a reason to be hidden.
Listen...
To all that noise,
The silence toys with me.
There's a purpose for my life.
There's a reason for all the tears I cry.
So many questions..."

"I need more,
I need more now."

"I know that when it all falls down...
It crumbles..."

Girl, This was hott.....I loved it to the core, I feel you, I truly do.

"

headless verseman · 05-08-2005, 01:11 AM

The stories my walls would tell,
have a reason to be hidden.

that was easily the most stand out line in this piece. it speaks volumes to the emotion the piece has, and actually comes across better then the obvious lines like:

There's a reason for all the tears I cry.
So many questions...
Why Lord Why?
How God how?

i just feel that the lines before this, give so much more....are so much more emotional, and deep.....much more poetic.....although the bluntless of each of those lines adds to the pacing, i dont like the way you use them to express your desperateness like the previous lines do.

overall, this piece was cool. i think there is more deeper, to me, you've just scratched the surface. delve into that EXACT moment in time, it seems this effort only touches at your TRUE emotions. this seems to be restricted, constipated, censored. not in a bad way, its just the development needs to be done with a FREEDOM to write the true feelings.

maybe its me, but this seems censored to what you really want to say, ....stifiled, limited..

ya know?

hit me back if u get time

AlmostFamous · 05-08-2005, 06:12 AM

yet another journal entry by the pimp

damn its been a minute since you posted in here..

good to see you writing..

I like this poem alot...

if i could turn back the hands of time...

nice way to start it out

kind of an rkelly vibe to it..lol

stay up

misspimp · 05-08-2005, 10:26 PM

thanks for the love...i really appreciate it

headless verseman- u really hit the nail on the head...this was a piece where i held back a lot of emotion...its been a long time since ive actually written a piece on my true feelings so really i've forgotten how to express my emotions the way i use to...but anyhoo...thanx for the feedback....

skandelous_lala · 05-09-2005, 01:12 AM

Yes, I think you can certainly tell that something has been held back in this... but I think that sourta adds to the mystery of it..you want to know..what else there is that you aren't telling.

Keep writing!

RealMS · 05-09-2005, 04:46 PM

and you still write it as a spoken word. Sounds like you're on the outside looking in on things now, rather than before it was opposite. You grew up-but still its like you're just wondering, trying to figure things out. Some things take a lifetime and those on that mission continue to search-but along that way WE learn things. I guess that's my reason for not giving up on things that mean a lot to me. Can't change what's behind you-for a long time I used to think that and then it just got to where I felt I didn't wanna. Work with what I got and build on.

-Much Love

lpoet · 05-10-2005, 02:43 PM

i dunno...it seemed to end a lil to soon for me..seemed like when i was really getting into it you stopped...grrr...

lol
nice poem though..very emotional like most of your work

where in the world have you been...

hope u stick around for a lil while...nice to see u back

Xero Satsujin · 05-11-2005, 02:32 PM

I'm at work, but I read it and I liked it to say the least. But I gotta agree with lpoet on the fact that it ended a little short ya know? Anyway, good to see that you're writing...

Mind~$oul · 05-13-2005, 03:52 AM

Wow, I havent seen you in ages. I miss talking to you girl.

Headless hit it on the nail basically. Just seem like there was so much more to this piece than what you gave to the reader. It only left me wanting more. Emotion was strong and pure in this piece. Uppin for you

One luv

Truf DX · 05-13-2005, 07:03 PM

What kinda i say dat hasnt been said....it seems tha more respect you get tha more dats expected of you ....nice to kno i aint tha only one whos been on a forced vacation...maybe we can finish tha collab we started over a year ago? ; )
TrufFully Spittin OUT

babygrrl820 · 05-14-2005, 11:17 AM

this poem seems really emotional. but hidden emotion. i love the way you started it out. turning back the hands of time is everyones dream. i feel you here.

misspimp · 05-14-2005, 02:46 PM

thanx so much for the love....wryters bloc got me right now to where even if i wanted to tell the rest of my story i couldnt....but thanx again everyone!!

mad love

FreakEmoWriter9 · 05-14-2005, 02:51 PM

this poem sounds just like a small window that allows your audience to peer through and see just the smallest insight of your life, emotions, and feelings. a great poem to get your readers to continue reading your work in order to want to know more about you. try to release your thoughts and emotions and im sure you'll be known on this forum.

05-08-2005, 12:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
misspimp a.k.a KATURAH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Virginia Is For Lovers Posts: 1,308	Turn Back If I could turn back the hands of time... I'd still be a nineteen year old virgin... I'd still be writing my heart out with a purpose... I'd be learning more... And speaking less... If I could turn back the hands of time... I'd be a success! But I can't. So the mess...I've messed. Has to be completely assesed & picked apart. The words in my heart are adraid of themselves. If I could yell, I wouldn't. The stories my walls would tell, have a reason to be hidden. Listen... To all that noise, The silence toys with me. There's a purpose for my life. There's a reason for all the tears I cry. So many questions... Why Lord Why? How God how? So many demands. I need more, I need more now. Laying down, But can't sleep. Smiling widely, But there is no peace. And even tho when our eyes meet, The connection feels so deep, Even tho our brains roam, But meet up later on, I know that when it all falls down... It crumbles... But if I could turn back the hands of time... Maybe my heart and mind... Wouldnt be so troubled... -Ek __________________ MAD LOVE "Never to suffer would never to have been blessed" ~THE LATE GREAT ~ ~EDGAR ALLEN POE ~

05-08-2005, 01:11 AM	#3 (permalink)
headless verseman Registered User Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 16,579	The stories my walls would tell, have a reason to be hidden. that was easily the most stand out line in this piece. it speaks volumes to the emotion the piece has, and actually comes across better then the obvious lines like: There's a reason for all the tears I cry. So many questions... Why Lord Why? How God how? i just feel that the lines before this, give so much more....are so much more emotional, and deep.....much more poetic.....although the bluntless of each of those lines adds to the pacing, i dont like the way you use them to express your desperateness like the previous lines do. overall, this piece was cool. i think there is more deeper, to me, you've just scratched the surface. delve into that EXACT moment in time, it seems this effort only touches at your TRUE emotions. this seems to be restricted, constipated, censored. not in a bad way, its just the development needs to be done with a FREEDOM to write the true feelings. maybe its me, but this seems censored to what you really want to say, ....stifiled, limited.. ya know? hit me back if u get time Last edited by headless verseman; 05-08-2005 at 01:13 AM.

05-08-2005, 06:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
AlmostFamous U got a problem? Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sioux Falls Posts: 2,789	yet another journal entry by the pimp damn its been a minute since you posted in here.. good to see you writing.. I like this poem alot... if i could turn back the hands of time... nice way to start it out kind of an rkelly vibe to it..lol stay up __________________ the good lord giveth and he taketh away isnt that the truth My name is Nate Short MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate

05-08-2005, 10:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
misspimp a.k.a KATURAH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Virginia Is For Lovers Posts: 1,308	thanks for the love...i really appreciate it headless verseman- u really hit the nail on the head...this was a piece where i held back a lot of emotion...its been a long time since ive actually written a piece on my true feelings so really i've forgotten how to express my emotions the way i use to...but anyhoo...thanx for the feedback.... __________________ MAD LOVE "Never to suffer would never to have been blessed" ~THE LATE GREAT ~ ~EDGAR ALLEN POE ~

05-09-2005, 01:12 AM	#6 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	Yes, I think you can certainly tell that something has been held back in this... but I think that sourta adds to the mystery of it..you want to know..what else there is that you aren't telling. Keep writing! __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

05-08-2005, 12:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	"I'd be learning more... And speaking less..." <<that's hott "If I could yell, I wouldn't. The stories my walls would tell, have a reason to be hidden. Listen... To all that noise, The silence toys with me. There's a purpose for my life. There's a reason for all the tears I cry. So many questions..." "I need more, I need more now." "I know that when it all falls down... It crumbles..." Girl, This was hott.....I loved it to the core, I feel you, I truly do. "

05-09-2005, 04:46 PM	#7 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,230	and you still write it as a spoken word. Sounds like you're on the outside looking in on things now, rather than before it was opposite. You grew up-but still its like you're just wondering, trying to figure things out. Some things take a lifetime and those on that mission continue to search-but along that way WE learn things. I guess that's my reason for not giving up on things that mean a lot to me. Can't change what's behind you-for a long time I used to think that and then it just got to where I felt I didn't wanna. Work with what I got and build on. -Much Love

05-10-2005, 02:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	i dunno...it seemed to end a lil to soon for me..seemed like when i was really getting into it you stopped...grrr... lol nice poem though..very emotional like most of your work where in the world have you been... hope u stick around for a lil while...nice to see u back __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

05-11-2005, 02:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,197	I'm at work, but I read it and I liked it to say the least. But I gotta agree with lpoet on the fact that it ended a little short ya know? Anyway, good to see that you're writing... __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..."

05-13-2005, 03:52 AM	#10 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Wow, I havent seen you in ages. I miss talking to you girl. Headless hit it on the nail basically. Just seem like there was so much more to this piece than what you gave to the reader. It only left me wanting more. Emotion was strong and pure in this piece. Uppin for you One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

05-13-2005, 07:03 PM	#11 (permalink)
Truf DX Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 38	What kinda i say dat hasnt been said....it seems tha more respect you get tha more dats expected of you ....nice to kno i aint tha only one whos been on a forced vacation...maybe we can finish tha collab we started over a year ago? ; ) TrufFully Spittin OUT

05-14-2005, 11:17 AM	#12 (permalink)
babygrrl820 Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Location: O-town Posts: 14	this poem seems really emotional. but hidden emotion. i love the way you started it out. turning back the hands of time is everyones dream. i feel you here.

05-14-2005, 02:46 PM	#13 (permalink)
misspimp a.k.a KATURAH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Virginia Is For Lovers Posts: 1,308	thanx so much for the love....wryters bloc got me right now to where even if i wanted to tell the rest of my story i couldnt....but thanx again everyone!! mad love __________________ MAD LOVE "Never to suffer would never to have been blessed" ~THE LATE GREAT ~ ~EDGAR ALLEN POE ~

05-14-2005, 02:51 PM	#14 (permalink)
FreakEmoWriter9 Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Location: AZ Posts: 112	this poem sounds just like a small window that allows your audience to peer through and see just the smallest insight of your life, emotions, and feelings. a great poem to get your readers to continue reading your work in order to want to know more about you. try to release your thoughts and emotions and im sure you'll be known on this forum.

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