The Perfect World

[FreakEmoWriter9]

If only
one person
could change the world's events
to make it all perfect
a world
made to be happy
the ideal earth
it would be called
the picture perfect planet
no hypocrites to harm the economy
no pointless beings
without a leg to stand on
all would be balanced
but this is not possible
there was one person
who dreamt up karma
with good
must come bad
as what would happen
if we lived
in a world as such
there would be crashing countries
and clashing ideas
tormented souls
and confused beings
this is true balance
with good
must come bad
with success
must come failure
one's accomplished goal
is another one's shattered
this world does truly exist
how can this be?
you ask
who would make up such a place?
filled with pain and sadness
but with happiness and fulfillment
it's an oxymoron you might say
the answer to your question
is us
we made this world
it is our world
our world is not all pain
it is not all perfect
but balanced
by opposites

[UFO the Phoenix]

I really dug this one Write 9....the topic/title alone is something I always wondered...and is one of my main themes in alot of my poems....but this was nice


If only
one person
could change the world's events
to make it all perfect
a world
made to be happy
the ideal earth
it would be called

^I love the opening to this.............if just 1 person....1 person..............change the world.....make it perfect......just crazy concept



the picture perfect planet

^best line in the poem.....slick word play


no hypocrites to harm the economy
no pointless beings
without a leg to stand on
all would be balanced

^hahaha.......love this.....I like your tone in this.....like a teacher daydreaming about the perfect world and explaining it later to her class


but this is not possible
there was one person
who dreamt up karma
with good
must come bad
as what would happen


^reality bites

if we lived
in a world as such
there would be crashing countries
and clashing ideas
tormented souls
and confused beings
this is true balance
with good
must come bad
with success
must come failure
one's accomplished goal
is another one's shattered
this world does truly exist
how can this be?

^I love the yin and yang concept you expanded on in this.....actually back when u mention balanced you expanded on it.....tight tight

you ask
who would make up such a place?
filled with pain and sadness
but with happiness and fulfillment
it's an oxymoron you might say
the answer to your question
is us
we made this world
it is our world
our world is not all pain
it is not all perfect
but balanced
by opposites


^Oxymoron...................sad but true


I love the ending you bring back the "Balanced".....but by opposites....brought closure to the poem....and a new view on the world and on different people.....how we all compliment each other

very nice poem I enjoyed it ALOT

thanks for sharing

and thanks for spreading the love....good looking out


PEACE AND GODBLESS

[FreakEmoWriter9]

thanks alot, i orignally wrote this poem for a poetry contest at school, but it didn't get accepted. i was a little ticked off cuz the poem they chose was about a willow and i got mad cuz absolutely no one in my class could understand its meaning. oh well i'll just write enough poems and write my own damn book lol anyways thanks for the feed.

[Mind~$oul]

I liked this piece much better than your last. Pointed out a lot of crazy things that go on in this world that go unnoticed to some. Utophia will never come. Life is what you make it. Good work

One luv

[Birks]

Nicely paced...very strong and often overlooked point...
You set us up well and excecuted nicely...cool concept behind this..
Stay writing..

[eM-T]

Well... I guess the problem with your idea of perfection is this; you want everyone to be the same. Now I know that is an assumption and I don't mean it in the literal sense. Its the same as... made in the image of God. Basically your idea of perfection is everyone getting along. But for all to get along we must be the same. ... . . anotherrrr problem.

what is good and bad? because what many people consider bad many consider good. I like to get high. I love it. Is that good. YES! (for me) but others may argue....
This is the reason there is no thing as truth. Truth implies a meaning that is universal. But because people do what feels good, and different things feel good to different people, there can be no universal understanding of truth, EVER. We create our own truth. Each person does whatever it is that helps them sleep at night.

and I know I am saying there is no truth, but saying it like IT IS THE TRUTH (that there is no truth) and I am write.. because it is the truth I have created.. and never in a million years will I stop believing that. So whats it all mean? I will tell you. It means that one thing is as close to perfect as anything can get to such a concept. The earth is perfect. Nature is perfect, because DESPITE all of our differences as human beings, the earth can accommidate each one individual, in different ways (because we all do what feels good)

the other thing... one person succeeds the other fails. What do you consider success. I feel as though the biggest weakness of this poem is that it is completely biased to your culture.. not in the sense that it favors your culture, but rather, I don't think you are aware of what culture is yet. Of coarse I am not talking about the definition of the word, but the comparison of your culture to other countries. so something like success... I mean.. in OUR culture, most believe that would be attributed to the amount of money you make. Personally... I have more important things to ... care about. I grew up poor and went upper middle... and to be honest... I dont know about the whole thing. It has its perks, but at what cost??? (remember there is no truth, so the question, "but at what cost?" may be NOTHING to many individuals. Of coarse they are the ones who think money IS success)

Money changes people. Money changed me, and I have never for a second felt like it was for the better. My things are nicer, but I sure as fuck aint.


then there are things like "change the world events so they were all perfect"
this IS a nice idea, however.. war IS perfect. It is.. for ONE side. The side that gets what they want. Like driving a car.. people love it... so in some sense, if people are not willing to give up, or at least be practical (like NOT owning an SUV) about driviing.. one might say.. many Americans love THIS war. I mean. You love to drive. Are you willing to stop driving to stop war? I already did.. but.. that is because THAT helps me sleep at night (more of MY truth you know)

if only life were that simple

I feel you you on your poem... And I wish that I still thought such a thing was practical, but with limited resources and a constantly growing world population... there simply isn't enough to make everyone happy (that is meet everyones unique needs, not so you think I was defining happieness as having money. Happieness simply comes with access to what you love, which = resources)

so I think I have ranted long enough, and perhaps some of us even learned something.

and what was that something?

MY TRUTH OHHH YEA!!

-eMpTy

[RealMS]

You answered the question, thank goodness. I was about to get on that.

To this day many rely on one person to solve certain problems and it just doesn't work that way. No Hercules around here-and nobody said they needed one. lol, reap what you sow. Anyhoo-time to get off my soap bucket. And its crazy how some like to believe this is 'The Perfect World.' Please.

-Much Love

[K. Loye]

Well. I thought that this concept was kind of bland. just for the fact that its such an obvious topic, and most people think about it at least once in their lifetime. So it seemed sort of "yeah what's the point" but still it was pretty good. It seems that you have a decent sense of meter... I did'nt really go through and check, but thats just as it seemed to me which is kind of nice to see in another poet. Imagery was truthful and thats always cool, emotion was there, and you pointed out and answered alot of questoins that people have which was a kind of creative approach to the piece. I'd like to see how you progress in the future.. Sorry about not getting accepted in your poetry contest...

-K. Loye