one of my Recently published poems, "Funnel Cake"

This is a discussion on one of my Recently published poems, "Funnel Cake" within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; recently published by Lost and Found Times literary magazine back ground of first poem, its funny...i actually hate funnel cake, ...


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one of my Recently published poems, "Funnel Cake" one of my Recently published poems, "Funnel Cake"
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Old 05-07-2005, 08:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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one of my Recently published poems, "Funnel Cake"
recently published by Lost and Found Times literary magazine

back ground of first poem, its funny...i actually hate funnel cake, but i wrote this down while waiting to meet for someone.


"Funnel Cake"

Funnel cake filled my festivous mood
The walk was horrifying
The shoot water- fill balloon game killed me
that 5 year old who won, yea, steroids
Plus I had a nasty side wind
the Carnie conviently put him in the middle
yea, Inside job
Still, funnel cake filled my festivous mood
The spinning wheel of barf lived up to its name
The wheel's patrons were screaming
The operator, gleaming, looked my way
"Wanna ride?"
Off in the distance the red and white checkered stand was lit up in twinkle lights
The aroma was ever present
I approached carefully
My fingers pressed forcefully against my ears
No, I didnt listen to the Carnie shrieks
"Step right up, win this beeyouuuuutiful priize"
I would not fall victim to their incestual draw
The allure of oversized stuffed animals seemed unbearable
And just when I glanced at the purple frog
A southern breeze reminded me and funnel cake refilled my festivous mood
I walked briskly down the center path
Vultures hounded me from both sides
"Test your strength, step right up"
Oh no!
My weakness
Why did this carnie have to know psychology
Why is he prodding my ego
Just then a small girl stepped up
She couldnt have been 10
She grasped the hammer and giggled
She obviously didnt know how serious this was
Then the bell was illuminated, DING!
I gave a nonchalont nod
If this little girl could do it, surely this wouldve been a waste of my time
I strutted along
I finally reached my destination
The sign read: If your nose is white with a funny face, you must've ate a funnel cake
How clever!
I went right to the counter, smiling
"Back of the line" he bellowed
Oh no!
The line- The DMZ, No man's land
This grotesque torture is out of some Poe story
My heart was pounding
Everything slowed
I began to pace nervously
Panic set in
Sweat dripped from my brow
The passing public began to stare
What was happening
Faces were blurred, the stand was wavy, pulsating
My heart won the Boston Marathon
I couldnt stop
The line finally collapsed, 1 domino at a time
It was my time
Funnel cake filled my festivous mood
"One funnel cake"
As he prepped the golden oil my mouth watered
He removed it from the pot
It was placed ever so gently onto the paper plate
Funnel cake filled my festivous mood
"Were out of sugar"
FUCK!
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Old 05-07-2005, 08:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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btw, this is odd that this poem of all my others has been recently well recieved by the literary community, *i also had a small portfolio of poems published in Ars Poetica: Poetry, Fiction and Art, among others......but this is definitely light, and almost bouncy compared to most my other work............ill look around this forum again, drop some comments
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Old 05-07-2005, 09:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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My fingers pressed forcefully against my ears
No, I didnt listen to the Carnie shrieks
"Step right up, win this beeyouuuuutiful priize"
I would not fall victim to their incestual draw
The allure of oversized stuffed animals seemed unbearable
And just when I glanced at the purple frog
A southern breeze reminded me and funnel cake refilled my festivous mood
I walked briskly down the center path
Vultures hounded me from both sides
"Test your strength, step right up"
Oh no!
My weakness

^ word that was some real shit, the poem was most def in a league of its own. The imagery, and the presence was very outlandish.. Keep writing man this shit is nice..
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Old 05-08-2005, 12:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
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upppp
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Old 05-08-2005, 01:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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This was cool, It's weird how people come up with this kind of stuff to me. Very cool though
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Old 05-08-2005, 06:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Still, funnel cake filled my festivous mood
The spinning wheel of barf lived up to its name
The wheel's patrons were screaming
The operator, gleaming, looked my way
"Wanna ride?"


damn man... i can see why this was published.. very good writing
no doubt
r
ep
check

stay up
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Old 05-08-2005, 10:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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thank you, glad ya liked it...ill look for some of your stuff
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Old 05-08-2005, 10:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It was placed ever so gently onto the paper plate
Funnel cake filled my festivous mood
"Were out of sugar"
FUCK!
this was the best part of the poem...actually the whole piece was great...when i first started reading it i was like wtf?? I know this man is not about to write about a funnel cake!...LOL...

But on the real the message i got out of this poem was so deep on a truly different level....it was like u waited all that time for a funnel cake and then they didnt even have the best damn part...like me waiting all this time to finally get the things i want out of life and then my sugar turns to shit and on the way to getting the good things its like vultures attackin trying to bring me down and i let em! FUCK! just like u said at the end....truly an inspiring piece to me...loves it....and i'll definetly be checkin out more of your work!!!!

mad love
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Old 05-09-2005, 01:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I thought it was interesting. I like it when people can just take a random topic and go off on it.. it can make for some interesting pieces. I really liked the imagery in this. I definitely felt like I could see what you were saying even if the content didn't draw me in that much.
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Old 05-09-2005, 04:48 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This was very different but I enjoyed reading it.
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Old 05-09-2005, 05:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
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this reminds me of my first date-we ended up going to the fair (this was a few years back) and it was a double date but we all ended up separating because me and him wanted to go on all the rides, and they didn't so we branched off. At first I was thinking how would I look, acting like a kid goin on these rides, just wildin out. Then I just didn't care. Shoot we both was kinda wildin out the whole night there. lol, it was fun-a highlight too I must say. Every year we go to the fair now just to relive that one time. But eh-funnel cakes?! I can't stand them things either man. It's not really that big around here, but Moon pies-thats another thing. Seems like the only thing we found useful out of it was attacking ppl. with it, and throwing them b/c it has marshmellow filling inside. Yuuck. Nah I'm just playing but anyway I haven't really thought about that time, seems like a long while ago it all happened. You almost sound like you're going back in your childhood throughout this poem. The ending had me crackin-UP.

-Much Love
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Old 05-10-2005, 04:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
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^Funnel Cakes are the absolute truth.

But anyway this poem was great man. I see why it was published. It just had an overall different feel to it. This is something nobody would even think about writing or even reading lol. You kinda brought me on memory lane with this piece.

It kind of reminds you that there is always some obstacle(sp) you'll have to face in life. Always gotta be prepared for them. good to see you in the realm

One luv
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Old 05-12-2005, 02:06 AM   #13 (permalink)
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blah ur a homo
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Old 05-12-2005, 02:14 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Thanks people, ill be posting some more shit up this weekend...ill try to get back to some of your shit
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Old 06-01-2005, 03:22 AM   #15 (permalink)
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please dont up old poems.
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