My buddy(My best try to be poetic)

Abra Kadabra · 05-07-2005, 06:22 PM

This poem I am makin is about my best friend
He hung with me till we had to end
He always had my back no matter what happened
He stuck by me on stage whenever I was rappin
I always brought him around whenever I needed a true brother
I could only turn to him since I never had a father or mother
When things got stressful we always went to get weed
He would always shoot to make sure I never had to bleed
But one day a group of thugs came and I was mos def troubled
He showed up in a new york minute that was doubled
After seing his face they gave up their plans and retreated
Me and him was like champs who werent ever goin to be defeated
But you cant live life perfect so mistakes came and went
I was gettin paper but the problems were left unspent
As I got a little older and I started seeing more problems
I realized this friendship, this relationship may not be workin
Cause he stayed untouchable while I was the only one who was hurtin
Last Tuesday I went to see him and i wondered if he made it to Heaven
He will always be my brother,friend,and my Ak-47

AlmostFamous · 05-08-2005, 06:16 AM

good effort here abra.. it just came off as a rap more so thanpoetry to me

but mos def this was nice..

When things got stressful we always went to get weed...

haha.. no doubt man I used to have a homeboy like that..

stay up

Birks · 05-08-2005, 11:25 AM

^ I agree..as a rap not bad at all...
I see the attempt made though and can pick out pieces that are more poetic..
This was def from the heart though don't get me wrong...
Cool flow and feel.
Stay writing..

absolute zero · 05-08-2005, 01:51 PM

All I can say is keep writing.......

God Bless

Mind~$oul · 05-09-2005, 04:52 PM

^Yeah basically. I really didnt like the piece. I think you made this piece too short for what you was talking about. I think you could have put a lot more depth into this piece. Seem like something you wrote because you had nothing else to do. I know you could have done better. Uppin for you

One luv

05-07-2005, 06:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Abra Kadabra My Alias Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,509	My buddy(My best try to be poetic) This poem I am makin is about my best friend He hung with me till we had to end He always had my back no matter what happened He stuck by me on stage whenever I was rappin I always brought him around whenever I needed a true brother I could only turn to him since I never had a father or mother When things got stressful we always went to get weed He would always shoot to make sure I never had to bleed But one day a group of thugs came and I was mos def troubled He showed up in a new york minute that was doubled After seing his face they gave up their plans and retreated Me and him was like champs who werent ever goin to be defeated But you cant live life perfect so mistakes came and went I was gettin paper but the problems were left unspent As I got a little older and I started seeing more problems I realized this friendship, this relationship may not be workin Cause he stayed untouchable while I was the only one who was hurtin Last Tuesday I went to see him and i wondered if he made it to Heaven He will always be my brother,friend,and my Ak-47 __________________ *Free Sampdevilla*

05-08-2005, 06:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
AlmostFamous U got a problem? Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sioux Falls Posts: 2,789	good effort here abra.. it just came off as a rap more so thanpoetry to me but mos def this was nice.. When things got stressful we always went to get weed... haha.. no doubt man I used to have a homeboy like that.. stay up __________________ the good lord giveth and he taketh away isnt that the truth My name is Nate Short MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate

05-09-2005, 04:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	^Yeah basically. I really didnt like the piece. I think you made this piece too short for what you was talking about. I think you could have put a lot more depth into this piece. Seem like something you wrote because you had nothing else to do. I know you could have done better. Uppin for you One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

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05-08-2005, 11:25 AM	#3 (permalink)
Birks Led Zepp Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Northern land Posts: 38	^ I agree..as a rap not bad at all... I see the attempt made though and can pick out pieces that are more poetic.. This was def from the heart though don't get me wrong... Cool flow and feel. Stay writing..

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