open the door

This is a discussion on open the door within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Ma, The voices are talking to me again You said I'd never face this alone But I wanted to be ...


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Old 05-07-2005, 01:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Bhitiah takes it up the butt!
open the door
Ma, The voices are talking to me again

You said I'd never face this alone
But I wanted to be out on my own
Fuck it, I'm grown
and I'm going...
You cant stop me
You never wanted me
The thought it of it still haunts me
as I walked out the front door
Listening to the door slam
You didnt kick me out,
But I heard you give up that night
with the clicking of the locks...
...I just wanted to go for a walk
I should have never walked away
I should have begged
....I should have stayed
Tucked quietly inside of my bed
my head resting on the pillow
that you engraved my name...
I put the family to shame ...
I should have known that a mother's love was unconditional
but It wasnt a game.....

My last sentence still dripping from my lips,
"I'm tired of this shit, I hate you bitch!"
What I meant to say...
What I pray I can still say someday ...

"Ma, I'm scared ...
The monster's are here ...
Hidden inside of me,
I can feel the demon's breathe
Down my neck...
Ma...Please Help"

I'm still your little girl
I'm still daddies baby
I never meant to say these things...
I never meant to hurt you this way
I'll take the blame
I'll never fight your advice
I'll live my life like you want me to live my life
I'll change...
I'll be better
I'll be somebody else....
Just please help....
I need the warmth of your arms around me
chest to chest our hearts beat in unison
I dont wanna go through this again
without you again...
I need you ...
Ma I need you....
Please open the door...
Ma, I'm sorry
I wont take your money anymore
Ma, I wont be the same person anymore
I wont die on the bathroom floor
I wont do that to you again,
I wont do what he did...
I just need you...
Ma, Please...
Please ....
Open the door....
Last edited by Bhitiah; 05-07-2005 at 01:54 AM.
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Old 05-07-2005, 02:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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BK-NEON takes it up the butt!
damn, this was emotional as all hell...i liked it tho, cuz it was real...i could feel this more than just on an aesthetic level, it touched me a little deeper than that...good work
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Old 05-07-2005, 02:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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wooooord

this was a powerful poem B.....yet again......this was different though like you took us back to your childhood or something.....it was like a lil mini trip back into yo past....the tone and childish theme was soooooo amazing and heartfelt......that "open the door"....could almost hear your plea screaming off the screen in these gently words.....and freeflow word-play that you seemed to master effortlessly

I dunno what else to say expect.......wow.....(it remined me of a spoken word I heard on Def Poetry Jam....the momma momma dont hit me again....type of style.....deep)
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Old 05-07-2005, 03:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Coined takes it up the butt!
Really liked this alot B, amazing writting that only comes together like this when it means something to the person who wrote it.

Thank you for sharing it.
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Old 05-07-2005, 10:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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"But I heard you give up that night
with the clicking of the locks..."

Diggin that. Just too much to take and had to give it up. Great imagery, and I loved the sense of pleading coming from the writer's side. A sense of wrongdoing, and fear. I could sense it oozing from this one

Great work

God Bless
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Old 05-07-2005, 10:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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xomzi takes it up the butt!
Your words scream help from the depths of your soul. I hear your crying plea. Good job with the write.
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Old 05-07-2005, 10:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
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FreakEmoWriter9 takes it up the butt!
wow, i was touched by this poem. let anyone read this and they'll realize just how much they love they parents. great piece and i really loved how you expressed the ways that you need ur folks, especially your mom. keep droppin that fire and i'll keep spreadin the love.
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Old 05-08-2005, 07:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Something I can relate too. I never really had that chance to make up with my mother. The day we did she passed away from AIDS. Love them while they're still there. That's all I can say.

One luv
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Old 05-09-2005, 03:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
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AlmostPsycho™ takes it up the butt!
Quote:
I should have known that a mother's love was unconditional
but It wasnt a game.....
You CAN write!
Hats off to ya!
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Old 05-09-2005, 06:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
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lord, I remember when I was young and we all was still a family living in the same home. While dad was gone for 2 weeks working it was just me mom my brother and sis. I was such a bad ass, but I mean I was just a kid, like 3-5. When I didn't wanna obey or listen she used to just leave me in the kitchen or wherever I was at the time by myself. If its one thing I hated, it was to be by myself. I would cry for her to come back, and one day I think I cried too much, had her in tears. Then this other time, I don't know what I did but it was me and my older brother and we got into trouble and somehow I got the blame. So my mama locked me in the bathroom with the lights off. I was never scared of the dark lol but it was just being in a small space, by myself. Like all the lights in my world got turned off, including everyone. eh I hated to be alone. I used to cry out-mama open the door! and when she did that while my dad was there, he'd always try to "rescue" me but it was like he was taking my side so he couldn't. Man, I still think of them times. Its like I don't even have many times spent with her anymore because she's always working, slaving herself. Gosh I hate it sometimes. I wish I could take her place for the better. Don't mind me homegirl,

-Much Love
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Old 05-09-2005, 07:45 PM   #11 (permalink)
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My last sentence still dripping from my lips,
"I'm tired of this shit, I hate you bitch!"
What I meant to say...
What I pray I can still say someday ...

"Ma, I'm scared ...
The monster's are here ...
Hidden inside of me,
I can feel the demon's breathe
Down my neck...
Ma...Please Help"


That sums up the whole poem in that spot. You know you send me stuff you do all the time and I always enjoy it. I know how you have love behind that so I dig it. Keep it up and I know everyone feels that way occasionally. -1-
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Old 05-10-2005, 08:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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eM-T takes it up the butt!
first off...

"My last sentence still dripping from my lips," <that line made me fuckin drool. FUckin DOPE.
that is such a fucking awsome way to express the lingering tension in the silence following something you say. (in the context of what you said)

This poem has a very emotional feel to it. A last hope, desperate attempt to regain the love of your family. Unfortunately it reminds me of the phrase, "best lessons are learned the hard way". I was feeling your tone and desperation throughout this peice. Full of "I am sooo fucking sorry('s)" without ever saying I am sorry. (well you said it once but you get what Im saying.

I love the beginning. I think its a way of saying.. whatever happened to create this distance between us (a fight of whatever) .. its driving me crazy. Its stupid. Lets just forget it ever happened. Or your emotional and its just a way to describe how it feels to be bombarded with thoughts you cant control... or your crazy. Either way, I love it, and for all those reasons (that is, being able to give it your own meaning based on what you get from the poem) Great drop. Keep em coming and so will I.

eM-T

*MOPIF <--explained in poetic intercoarse under my new thread "whos in and whos out"
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Old 05-11-2005, 07:00 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Lord RAH takes it up the butt!
Good drop It took a few reads for me to grasp the depth of what you were trying to convey but in the end I got and dug it....ONE
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