Can You?

This is a discussion on Can You? within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Can you stop my fears from flooding to my mind scaring me into backing out of everything sheltering myself from ...


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Old 05-06-2005, 11:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
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FreakEmoWriter9 takes it up the butt!
Can You?

Can you stop my fears
from flooding to my mind
scaring me into backing out of everything
sheltering myself from all hurtful things
completely shutting myself down

Can you keep me away
from these thoughts of cutting
burning precious memories from my mind
isolating anything, anyone, everything, everyone from my life
taking away my existence from the physical worlds

Can you be there for me
when I need you most
be my prince charming when trouble comes
when I am hurt and ill
when I am at ending point

can you wipe away my tears
when I am hurt
or full of sorrow
when I need a hug
or helping hand

Can you calm me down
When I’m planning to do something
Self-destructing
Self mutilating
Or almost life changing

Can you protect me
From my inner most demons
The side I don’t want to be seen
The side of me that I hate
The side of me that knows me best

Can you help me
When I need to be saved
When I’m about to do something
Most careless
Something that would harm others?

Can you be there
When I have completely snapped
When all is out of control
When no one can help me
Would you dare even try?
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Old 05-06-2005, 11:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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oh word

welcome to the Realm Writer9.....this is a lil on the darker side.....but non the less it was felt.....the tone was heavy and depressing....we all go thru our stages....I hope I could be one of those people that would reach out a hand and help....I try....when I see people in need or hurt....but its hard when people put on a mask ya know?....anyway this poem hit me kinda hard because it reminded me of my lil sister back in her suicidual stages....the "Self destructing" phase in her life...that stuff is no joke.....this seem to be a inquiry of the soul....confronting your inner demons....interesting....deep....da rk.....the repetition of "Can you" was also well done....kept it organized and flowing.....unique

.............................

I enjoyed it even though it was on the darker side.....it reflects real struggle...and real life

keep your head up girl

thanks for joining the site and spreading love.......(keep it up)

PEACE AND GODBLESS


PS: DONT BE A FREELOADER PAY IT FORWARD AND GO PEEP: Absolute Zero
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Old 05-06-2005, 11:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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thanks i wrote this last year when i was some what depressed so yeah last year most of my poetry was definitely darker lol. but anyways thanks alot for the feedback.
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Old 05-07-2005, 01:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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"Can you calm me down
When I’m planning to do something
Self-destructing
Self mutilating
Or almost life changing

Can you protect me
From my inner most demons
The side I don’t want to be seen
The side of me that I hate
The side of me that knows me best"


Yeah this was tight...Welcome to the board too ...Stick around
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Old 05-07-2005, 08:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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thanks alot i hope to stay around as long as i can
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Old 05-07-2005, 08:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Great poem, seriously. I'm gonna tell a joke and hope it doesn't offend you.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry.
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Love of mine, someday you will die
But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
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Old 05-07-2005, 09:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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lol nah i dont get offended by those stupid things lol. i got the label emo from my friends because whenever they need to talk or anything they come to me cuz they find me as the better listener and stuff when it comes to emotional stuff, that and i love reading and writing about emotions
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Old 05-08-2005, 07:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
Sounds like something Bhitiah would write.

First off welcome to the realm, always good to check out the new heads.

This piece was dark and heartfelt all in one. Reminds me of this girl i'm talking to now. She been raped before so she kinda keeps herself away from everything. She wants that person to come and comfort her so bad, but those inner demons and untold stories just keeps her at bay.

One luv
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Old 05-23-2005, 06:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
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babygrrl820 takes it up the butt!
FreakEmoWriter9, you are my hero. You write things that i could never. I don't have the courage to write things such as those. I feel what you write. It's like my mind is saying it but you write it. Your poem felt as if it came straight from my mind. Im sure it did in many other's too. Congratulations, that was a great poem. Deeep and dark, but that is just how i like them.
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Old 05-25-2005, 07:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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lol thanks alot.
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