I make you rethink, and withdraw into my dreams

MisterEThoughts · 04-28-2005, 04:36 AM

I paint pictures to describe metaphors that transcribe blurry lines...
I convey my images to words of equal opportunity...
I try to produce verbal stimulation...
It can really dig deep down inside you...
Make you rethink the possibilities of the future...
I am equally explainable to pronounce the ideas of the human mind...
I stick the ink inside the thoughts to create emotional feelings that swim inside you like symphony...I am blissful to hold the appalling truth...
The key I hold is meager to protective explosion...
You touch it, lick it, and squeeze it... it might even open...
Without this knowing compassion I bring...
I withdraw into my dreams...

Also, Keyed... I worked a little on the structure... Next, I am going to work twice as hard to get a topic...Next, is going to be my best piece... I think I see myself improving with this one...
My best key I believe....

Mind~$oul · 04-29-2005, 04:25 PM

Ehh honestly I wasnt feeling it. I think you get too caught up into making the poem seem "deep". That's how i see it. But I still admire that fact that you're always trying to improve on your skills. Just keep it up man

oNe luv

Bhitiah · 04-29-2005, 07:00 PM

This was cool...I've seen alot better from you though...

MisterEThoughts · 04-29-2005, 09:22 PM

Thanks both... I feel ya sm.... Thanks both... I will keep working hard... If there is any suggestions please please let me know.. Ways i can improve... What i can do better... I will practice on structure... and not forcing it?

illpoetical · 04-30-2005, 12:52 AM

i agree you seemed to limit yourself trying to structure it so. i like the fact you are doing different things to improve your flow. keep it up

MisterEThoughts · 04-30-2005, 04:15 AM

Thanks, Bro.. I will keep working...

04-28-2005, 04:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	I make you rethink, and withdraw into my dreams I paint pictures to describe metaphors that transcribe blurry lines... I convey my images to words of equal opportunity... I try to produce verbal stimulation... It can really dig deep down inside you... Make you rethink the possibilities of the future... I am equally explainable to pronounce the ideas of the human mind... I stick the ink inside the thoughts to create emotional feelings that swim inside you like symphony...I am blissful to hold the appalling truth... The key I hold is meager to protective explosion... You touch it, lick it, and squeeze it... it might even open... Without this knowing compassion I bring... I withdraw into my dreams... Also, Keyed... I worked a little on the structure... Next, I am going to work twice as hard to get a topic...Next, is going to be my best piece... I think I see myself improving with this one... My best key I believe.... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

04-29-2005, 04:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Ehh honestly I wasnt feeling it. I think you get too caught up into making the poem seem "deep". That's how i see it. But I still admire that fact that you're always trying to improve on your skills. Just keep it up man oNe luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

04-29-2005, 07:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	This was cool...I've seen alot better from you though... __________________ You can bomb the world to peices, but cant bomb into peace

04-29-2005, 09:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	Thanks both... I feel ya sm.... Thanks both... I will keep working hard... If there is any suggestions please please let me know.. Ways i can improve... What i can do better... I will practice on structure... and not forcing it? __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

04-30-2005, 12:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
illpoetical raising the bar everyday Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Long Island Posts: 1,533	i agree you seemed to limit yourself trying to structure it so. i like the fact you are doing different things to improve your flow. keep it up __________________ How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live. The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.

04-30-2005, 04:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	Thanks, Bro.. I will keep working... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

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