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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 6
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Few works, constructive critism.
a few of what ive written, they ok..not the best tho
contrustive critism is always welcome
/DRUGS
i'm reachin out for the love one, as gods son
i entangle the matrix which entangles my flesh
in distant memories,i see myself praying on one knee
asking myself, should i forgive myself?
or to get off the one knee, let fate guide me
as gods love binds me,to eternal eternity
the distant memories, i see
are the haunting memories which haunt me
screaming at me ripping through my flesh like banshee's
on killing sprees
the pain and agony of one love to trust
the drug i loved a little to much
destroys me, leaving nothing left but distrought and debris
pain within the chest,feels like being shot without a vest
trying to be what u are not, entangled like knots
i lack originality, i try to be what i am not
intelligents, is the minds significants
the constant thought of, is the drug i just took bad?
keeps me at the edge of my seat, boiling in my body heat
i fall back, close your eyes begin to sleep
mind full of demons, drugs toxins still releases
causing my heart rate to decrease
attempt to wake up, but, the sleeps to deep
i realize it's over, my time has ended
as god's son ,i wonder why im descendin
to hell instead heaven,forgive me father
for i have commited one of the seven
i am now, another minion
serving the prince of darkness
hell, the sight and thought distroughts me
farewell, father don't forget me.
the life i lived, the drugs i encountered
has let lose my soul inserting it downward
i let out a rebel yell, and disclose in thought
would i still be alive today? if it weren't for the drugs i had bought?
i send out subliminal message to those who pick and choose
the path you wish to live, is the path i chose to lose
/SCRIBBLES
i put this pen to paper, and what do i see?
a bunch of scribbles where the blanks use to be
i take a good look, at this scribbled scriptured piece of paper
but still..it aint clear to me, the scribbles disappear
scribbles are unclear, invisible like water vapor
i scrolled deeper into my thoughts, where the blanks use to be
where it finally "unravaled", into something i could see
the scribbles ,where the blanks use to be visible to the eye
clearly visible to me as if they were underlined
decifered the code made by the artistic pen of mine
linked the scribbles together to see what i could find
linked them together like puzzles of Dot to Dot
patterns sprout out like tied up shoe lace knots
tried to untie but it said "access denied"
locked to perfection, so i set it aside
the picture i saw when i unraveled my thoughts
was timeless and frozen like a broken down clock
the scribble i put together was something like you will never see
cuz a scribbled picture looks different to every human-being
/REVENGE/BODIES ROTT
rolling down the block, all i hear are gunshots
dead bodies fill the streets, like yacht's filling docks
few days will pass, before u smell the bodies rot
.
.
.
few days have passed... the stench is un-bareable
the essence of rotting flesh,theirs no such thing comparable
streets uncleaned, after the whole murder scene
drive by's drive by once or twice a week
we get use to it, we live true to it
we realize the negitive aspects as we rekindle the moment
our love ones have been shot, and it was no accident
blood stained concrete and cement
bring to us raptures of pure torment
ya'll can call me the 4th boondock saint
im back protecting the world from criminal complaints
i wont ever stop myself or to refrain from bringin em pain
pullin the trigger last thing he heard was BANG
fuck no, a criminal no need for explanation
ive got a criminal discrimination
im on a killin spree, im acceleratin
blowing away bad guys like premature ejaculation
i catigorize criminals all the same i got them beat
the faggets who do drive by's one or twice a week
knocking loved ones off their feet -SPLAT- hitting concrete
i excrete enough heat to completely delete
all these fuckin criminals from the mother fucken street
/BORN A RAPPER
New Born Rapper
sittin in the ward, as i held my new child
i began to sing a rap for him, he let out smile
few years go by as he learns his first words
few days later he comes up with his first verse
putting me to shame with it letting out his first curse
at 4 years old his raps have only become stronger
at 4 years old, the art of rap he has conquered
by the age of 5 hes puttin together lines
combining together his spritit and mind
a few years go by, and by the age of eight
he raps on contact and doesn't even hesitate
he proves to be a rapper by the age of twelve
blowin up on stage, earning more trophies for his shelf
raisin striaght to top this kid is unstoppable
by the age of 15 hes rappin for some label
pushin through the rap scene like semi's with no brakes
unstoppable in the very least, cuz he fixes his mistakes
at 20 years old, he's been proclaimed to be the best
but i still remember the day, when he became obssessed
/BIN LADEN ASSASSIN
thousands die everyday, the cycles lives on
towers felt the heat of planes like napalm
hijacked planes meant to bring the world pain
sight of the first tower crumbling distilled our brains
until nothing was felt except agony and vain
sight of the second tower crumbling distilled our thoughts
thoughts become blurry, visions becoming distrought
only a few mins have past, our lives begin to rott
friends, family, loved ones are now passed
a few of twins towers cast, survived the afghast blast
friends,family,police and firefighters
risked their lives to save the lives of others
candles lit;coffins emit, funerals are being held
hijackers have already reach the cold gates of hell
i speak tongue and cheek,to the taliban's main man
today is the day, we rise; and become bin laden's assassin
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