Shards of night

[allnakey]

Using less of myself to gain others satisfaction
I’ve been up through those lonely nights
Alone and cold, just trying to write
All my wrongs won’t be left behind
That I can be assured, as time flys by
I’m trapped inside my own confusion
A delusion of sparkling camouflage

Sitting, praying
I’m alive
For tonight
The light shines dim
But in time…
You’ll smile
And with me…
With me… you’ll be fine
Just try and try
An empty soul
Shall fly with mine
Summers all alone
As we left it there
I’m not alone...


As the mirror shows a friend

[MisterEThoughts]

I liked this quite a bit... I feel you on this.. I can definitely relate... Haven't seen you for a long time... This was a good comeback..

[Bhitiah]

"Sitting, praying
I’m alive
For tonight
The light shines dim
But in time…
You’ll smile
And with me…
With me… you’ll be fine
Just try and try
An empty soul
Shall fly with mine
Summers all alone
As we left it there
I’m not alone..."

I liked that part...I liked the rest too, but I liked that

[Sole Sovereign]

You ever made a really huge mistake, you know the kind of mistake that hurts people you care about? You ever have to just sit and wait untill they found out about it, because you were too scared to tell them about it, or couldn't? That's what the piece was like at the beginning for me, and the end was the relief of being forgiven, because that's what loved ones do.

[Quotive]

"Summers all alone
As we left it there"

IMO, these are the most powerful lines. It's like... remembering the last time you were together? With her, or in good terms with yourself. Right?

"As the mirror shows a friend"

Perfect ending. Lovely piece man, this shit was vivid. I love it.

[Mind~$oul]

Yeah the ending was great man. This was really different coming from you. Last time I seen you write in this type of structure you was still kind of new here. Uppin for you though. I know you quit modding, but I still hope you continue to post.

One luv

[UFO the Phoenix]

WOOOOOOORD UP!!!

Ok I got a new idea to shake up the realm its called PAY IT FORWARD....when I'm done replying to you go and reply to these 3 random poets:


1) Madnick
2) Sole Sovereign
3) Bhitiah

then pick out your own 3 random poets and tell them^ to reply and pay it forward as well.....its only 3 simple poems to read....but if everyone pays it forward nobody will be slept on again

if you choose not to pay it forward thats cool....just know I will not respone to any of your poems again

holla



ok on to your poem.....key you have a way of hitting these short and sweet poems on the head...the 2 different structures intrigued me....I love your style.....I love the struggle in this...and the powerful ending of facing fears head on....looking into the mirror I'm not alone?!?!?!

crazy poem I really enjoyed

props man

even though you aint a mod hope you will bless us with a poem once in awhile!!!

PEACE

[eM-T]

(part of pay it forward) -sign ups in poetic intercoarse under the thread "can I get this STICKY". If you got the time we all hope you participate.

-------------------------------------------------
interesting piece... seems nostaligic, but lacking remorse (which is how I think we should live life, without regret) I like your rhyme sceme which seems so suttle to me yet somehow well established (I hope that makes sense to someone other than me haha)

love the ending. Something I have thought about in a different light. I wrote the idea for the poem down but never wrote the poem. Actually kind of makes me want to write it. It was more.. everytime I cry a friend appears (head between knees, the friend appears in the reflection of my tear puddle) some concept so I am feeling you here.

the beginning seems more detailed and story like, each line standing by itself. Then the end (2nd stanza on) seems to all be connected and builds up to your last line. a nice touch.

-eMpTy