UFO'd Religon

Madnick · 04-27-2005, 06:05 PM

The Importance of the Pope to a Certain Sociological Class

As I sit looking around in Sunday Mass,
I notice our loyal gang of single moms,
with their kids sitting pious at their side.

Mary, Madeline, Thomas, and William,
are just sitting there with their moms.

Those kids are looking sad, forlorn,
and profoundly alone. I’m sad too.

What’s going through their minds
is what went through my mind
when I was that young.

They know their Mom is good,
but they’d like to have a dad,
a real live dad that they can touch,
one that will care about them.

They wouldn’t always have to be so tough.
They could relax a little, let their guard down.

If they had a dad,
then they would be like the other kids,
they wouldn’t be so different.

All we kids of single moms are sad.
We’ve lost a father figure, our Holy Father.

We’re more alone now,
waiting patient for
our new Papa here on earth.
He’ll be around real soon.

Then we’ll put on our hard masks,
And be able to laugh and smile again.

It’s odd how a single word, a simple concept,
can make a difference to those that dream.

UFO the Phoenix · 04-27-2005, 06:18 PM

lol....I hope you people dont think I worship UFO's....or daydream about the Pope?

interesting poem for what it is worth....but you dont need these wacky titles to get people to look at your thread just come with it

Madnick · 04-27-2005, 06:25 PM

I've neen coming with but my titles are just fine.. Thanks on the feedback..

UFO the Phoenix · 04-27-2005, 06:27 PM

what does UFO'd Religon have to do with the Pope?

I dont understand whats going on around here

I feel like everyones out to get me all of a sudden?

Madnick · 04-27-2005, 06:37 PM

lol naw its just a piece that deal with religon and I decided to name it that because you drop alot of religious piece it's not ment to offend you ight..

eM-T · 04-27-2005, 06:41 PM

hahah rock on.

I like the poem man. I agree with UFO in the sense that Im not sure how you have correlated him into the poem, however there is nothing wrong with the title. I thought you "brought it" just fine.

You touch up on a very cool idea that children growing up feel more vulnerable when they are fatherless. As a result they develope a surface that appears ruff but really isn't. (I went through this faze for I don't know how many years, then I happened to be .. just stupid and happy one day and I say a kid a little younger than me.... and as I saw him I knew we used to be the same person. Its like.. the kid looked so angry and I could tell that it was "just because" It was a surface and the day I decided to leave mine where it belongs... in a tormented and scattered past.)

Your connection between the fatherless child and religion seems vauge, and I am not sure where you wanted me to take it. What I immediately thought at the end of the poem was relating the idea that a fatherless child will be more inclined to hold onto something he believes to be ... a role model.. a direction... and that is, of coarse is "our father who art in heaven" haha. However, it was vauge enough to where I am not sure if you were leading me into to something else that I sort of missed. I dont know. But the poem is awsome. YOu have great imagery and I really felt.. and remembered all those sad days I sat in church and wondered why.

Why do I have to be here. Why does my mother feel obligated to come. Why does she seem just as sad coming as she does leaving. What is the point of this placebo? Like the sugar pill, it works for some, but its never worked for me.

I suppose this means a logical person cant rely on the false hope of seeming potential?

Can't wait to see what else your bringing.
stay up, but not in a churchy heavenly sense okay. I believe in you and me and human potential. God is a sugar pill I will take as a crumble into my death bed. Until then....
-eMpTy

Brit Boi Gee · 04-27-2005, 08:45 PM

what a moving piece. this was sad. It really made me appreciate having a father in my life and also how some people sit with the feeling of having a part of them missing. It was a very straight forward piece and delicately delivered in a powerful way.

keep it up!

Madnick · 04-27-2005, 09:10 PM

Thanks for the feed EMT & Brit its appreciated.

mariposa · 04-28-2005, 11:32 PM

lol @ UFO...

anyways. being raised not only without a father but without religion as well in my house... this piece struck me on a personal level. i can see the connection you were going for between the two, the father and the Father (or His embodiement through the figure of the Pope)... but, like eM-T, i felt it could have been made a little clearer. for example...

All we kids of single moms are sad.
We’ve lost a father figure, our Holy Father.

in these lines, were you saying that children in a single-parent household miss the presence of the Lord moreso than children with two parents in the home? because they need that extra 'guidance' in the absence of their actual father?

or is it a step further... the idea that without the presence of a 'father' whether biological or spiritual, society (children) are lost in the absence of guidance. needing something to cling to, to look to, to help them feel safe and secure.

and if this is in regards to the new Pope... this actually brought to mind a conversation i had with a friend recently, how in the days passing the death of the Pope it seemed as if the people in our lives were just acting horribly to one another. almost as if with the loss of this 'figurehead of righteousness' people forgot how to act right. kinda like... how kids forget their good behavior when daddy is gone.

but yeah, im rambling.. which i tend to do in response to pieces that make me think, as this one definetly did. and its quite possible that almost nothing ive said is even remotely related to you piece . lol. but whatever... i dug the last two lines alot... definetly one of the truest statements ive read.

Madnick · 04-30-2005, 12:30 PM

Thanks..

screamer · 04-30-2005, 03:27 PM

This poem was good. It put a very common emtion (of being deserted by a perent)m and placed it onto an uncommon place...(the church) interesting link.
I belive though, that most kids do not have a daddy around. so being like other goods would be to not have a pa around.
But god the father, perhaps he's more reliable. But thats only if you think god is some paternalisitc figure (which is fine, but ladies please speak in church) anyways, enjoyed the read.

Mind~$oul · 05-02-2005, 01:56 AM

Nicely written poem. I liked the connection you tried to make with the "fathers". I grew up without my father and the only time I seen him face to face was at his funeral. Crazy shit. But this poem reminds me of the last two funerals I went to. Two of my best friends. It was just sad watching their young kids just looking around and not knowing what was going on.

Madnick · 05-03-2005, 12:06 PM

Thanks on the feed..

J o o k · 05-03-2005, 01:36 PM

All we kids of single moms are sad.
We’ve lost a father figure, our Holy Father

I would think my opinion is the opposite of this. I think that though we lost our father, we have not lost our Holy Father. I felt the poem because I am from a single parent home also so it really touched base. Pretty deep fam, keep writing. I'll keep reading. Pz

Madnick · 05-03-2005, 03:28 PM

I was refering to the pope there jook but thanks for the feed man its appreciated ..

AlmostFamous · 05-04-2005, 12:46 PM

damn man this was mos def heartfelt.. lol at the title UFO'd Religion... you stole my idea man.. i was gonna come up with a piece not similar to the one you just did but use a title around the same lines as that.. lol... what a coincidence

i like how you showed your emotions throughout this piece.. it was a very easy read and the structure was very nice... mad nice if i may say so..lol

but yeah anytime that your ready to do a collab.. just holler at me... alright

peace im out

Madnick · 05-04-2005, 06:32 PM

Thanks AF when my comp is fixed I'll hit you up ..

04-27-2005, 06:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	UFO'd Religon The Importance of the Pope to a Certain Sociological Class As I sit looking around in Sunday Mass, I notice our loyal gang of single moms, with their kids sitting pious at their side. Mary, Madeline, Thomas, and William, are just sitting there with their moms. Those kids are looking sad, forlorn, and profoundly alone. I’m sad too. What’s going through their minds is what went through my mind when I was that young. They know their Mom is good, but they’d like to have a dad, a real live dad that they can touch, one that will care about them. They wouldn’t always have to be so tough. They could relax a little, let their guard down. If they had a dad, then they would be like the other kids, they wouldn’t be so different. All we kids of single moms are sad. We’ve lost a father figure, our Holy Father. We’re more alone now, waiting patient for our new Papa here on earth. He’ll be around real soon. Then we’ll put on our hard masks, And be able to laugh and smile again. It’s odd how a single word, a simple concept, can make a difference to those that dream.

04-27-2005, 06:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	lol....I hope you people dont think I worship UFO's....or daydream about the Pope? interesting poem for what it is worth....but you dont need these wacky titles to get people to look at your thread just come with it __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

04-27-2005, 06:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	what does UFO'd Religon have to do with the Pope? I dont understand whats going on around here I feel like everyones out to get me all of a sudden? __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

04-27-2005, 08:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,977	what a moving piece. this was sad. It really made me appreciate having a father in my life and also how some people sit with the feeling of having a part of them missing. It was a very straight forward piece and delicately delivered in a powerful way. keep it up! __________________ They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. -Bob Monkhouse Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer

05-02-2005, 01:56 AM	#12 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Nicely written poem. I liked the connection you tried to make with the "fathers". I grew up without my father and the only time I seen him face to face was at his funeral. Crazy shit. But this poem reminds me of the last two funerals I went to. Two of my best friends. It was just sad watching their young kids just looking around and not knowing what was going on. __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

04-27-2005, 06:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	I've neen coming with but my titles are just fine.. Thanks on the feedback..

04-27-2005, 06:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	lol naw its just a piece that deal with religon and I decided to name it that because you drop alot of religious piece it's not ment to offend you ight..

04-27-2005, 06:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
eM-T Because We Are Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: inDarkness Posts: 148	hahah rock on. I like the poem man. I agree with UFO in the sense that Im not sure how you have correlated him into the poem, however there is nothing wrong with the title. I thought you "brought it" just fine. You touch up on a very cool idea that children growing up feel more vulnerable when they are fatherless. As a result they develope a surface that appears ruff but really isn't. (I went through this faze for I don't know how many years, then I happened to be .. just stupid and happy one day and I say a kid a little younger than me.... and as I saw him I knew we used to be the same person. Its like.. the kid looked so angry and I could tell that it was "just because" It was a surface and the day I decided to leave mine where it belongs... in a tormented and scattered past.) Your connection between the fatherless child and religion seems vauge, and I am not sure where you wanted me to take it. What I immediately thought at the end of the poem was relating the idea that a fatherless child will be more inclined to hold onto something he believes to be ... a role model.. a direction... and that is, of coarse is "our father who art in heaven" haha. However, it was vauge enough to where I am not sure if you were leading me into to something else that I sort of missed. I dont know. But the poem is awsome. YOu have great imagery and I really felt.. and remembered all those sad days I sat in church and wondered why. Why do I have to be here. Why does my mother feel obligated to come. Why does she seem just as sad coming as she does leaving. What is the point of this placebo? Like the sugar pill, it works for some, but its never worked for me. I suppose this means a logical person cant rely on the false hope of seeming potential? Can't wait to see what else your bringing. stay up, but not in a churchy heavenly sense okay. I believe in you and me and human potential. God is a sugar pill I will take as a crumble into my death bed. Until then.... -eMpTy

04-27-2005, 09:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	Thanks for the feed EMT & Brit its appreciated.

04-28-2005, 11:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
mariposa Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: cali Posts: 12	lol @ UFO... anyways. being raised not only without a father but without religion as well in my house... this piece struck me on a personal level. i can see the connection you were going for between the two, the father and the Father (or His embodiement through the figure of the Pope)... but, like eM-T, i felt it could have been made a little clearer. for example... All we kids of single moms are sad. We’ve lost a father figure, our Holy Father. in these lines, were you saying that children in a single-parent household miss the presence of the Lord moreso than children with two parents in the home? because they need that extra 'guidance' in the absence of their actual father? or is it a step further... the idea that without the presence of a 'father' whether biological or spiritual, society (children) are lost in the absence of guidance. needing something to cling to, to look to, to help them feel safe and secure. and if this is in regards to the new Pope... this actually brought to mind a conversation i had with a friend recently, how in the days passing the death of the Pope it seemed as if the people in our lives were just acting horribly to one another. almost as if with the loss of this 'figurehead of righteousness' people forgot how to act right. kinda like... how kids forget their good behavior when daddy is gone. but yeah, im rambling.. which i tend to do in response to pieces that make me think, as this one definetly did. and its quite possible that almost nothing ive said is even remotely related to you piece . lol. but whatever... i dug the last two lines alot... definetly one of the truest statements ive read.

04-30-2005, 12:30 PM	#10 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	Thanks..

04-30-2005, 03:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
screamer Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 182	This poem was good. It put a very common emtion (of being deserted by a perent)m and placed it onto an uncommon place...(the church) interesting link. I belive though, that most kids do not have a daddy around. so being like other goods would be to not have a pa around. But god the father, perhaps he's more reliable. But thats only if you think god is some paternalisitc figure (which is fine, but ladies please speak in church) anyways, enjoyed the read.

05-03-2005, 12:06 PM	#13 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	Thanks on the feed..

05-03-2005, 01:36 PM	#14 (permalink)
J o o k free the oppressed. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Bay Area, Ca Posts: 9,652	All we kids of single moms are sad. We’ve lost a father figure, our Holy Father I would think my opinion is the opposite of this. I think that though we lost our father, we have not lost our Holy Father. I felt the poem because I am from a single parent home also so it really touched base. Pretty deep fam, keep writing. I'll keep reading. Pz __________________ "Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home. He knows only The Cause." Win or Die. Still want to quit?

05-03-2005, 03:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	I was refering to the pope there jook but thanks for the feed man its appreciated ..

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

05-04-2005, 12:46 PM	#16 (permalink)
AlmostFamous U got a problem? Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sioux Falls Posts: 2,789	damn man this was mos def heartfelt.. lol at the title UFO'd Religion... you stole my idea man.. i was gonna come up with a piece not similar to the one you just did but use a title around the same lines as that.. lol... what a coincidence i like how you showed your emotions throughout this piece.. it was a very easy read and the structure was very nice... mad nice if i may say so..lol but yeah anytime that your ready to do a collab.. just holler at me... alright peace im out __________________ the good lord giveth and he taketh away isnt that the truth My name is Nate Short MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate

05-04-2005, 06:32 PM	#17 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	Thanks AF when my comp is fixed I'll hit you up ..

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