Patriarchal

This is a discussion on Patriarchal within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Broken Smashed Shattered Cracked Damaged Tortured Tormented Wretched Betrayed Ignored Abandoned I was all these thing until I Killed the ...


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Old 04-11-2005, 02:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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LthGd takes it up the butt!
Patriarchal

Broken
Smashed
Shattered
Cracked
Damaged
Tortured
Tormented
Wretched
Betrayed
Ignored
Abandoned


I was all these thing until I
Killed the old weaker me and
Evolved into myself……………
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Old 04-11-2005, 03:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Lookin for some feedback..
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Old 04-11-2005, 03:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!Poetickz will kick ya asss!
ok...ok feelin this...definatley enjoyin the message comin out from this...

ive used to feel that way before as well....i also liked how you made the message turn out positive from all the negative words...nicely done...original piece here, not alot of people use this technique anymore for poetry, glad to see its still used. welcome, and keep it up...and good lookin out on the feedback as well.
one
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Old 04-11-2005, 07:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!
Evolved into myselfhuh? I feel that. Abstract yet speaks for itself. Yeah this was well done, but what else you got under your sleeve?

-Much Love, keep it coming.
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Old 04-12-2005, 12:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks on the feedback Realms..
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Old 04-13-2005, 01:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Bhitiah takes it up the butt!
Broken
Smashed
Shattered
Cracked
Damaged
Tortured
Tormented
Wretched
Betrayed
Ignored
Abandoned


I was all these thing until I
Killed the old weaker me and
Evolved into myself……………


^^ that's dope...
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Old 04-13-2005, 10:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for the feedback
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Old 04-13-2005, 10:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
Ich liebe der Tisch!!
 
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rhino42 takes it up the butt!
i enjoyed this, cant really say wat part i liked most probably the last part, good job dawg

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Old 04-13-2005, 11:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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LOL, well this was SHOT yet quick to the POINT!!!! almost something like rhino's poem "Everyday (my december). I liked it!
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Old 04-14-2005, 04:49 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Thanks for all the feedback..
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Old 04-16-2005, 12:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!Brit Boi Gee will do you doggie style!
interesting. Are u supposed to be the woman breaking free from patriarchy? Powerful verbs and adjectives
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Old 04-17-2005, 01:56 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Old 04-19-2005, 05:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
Liked the way you ended the poem. You kinda left it up to the reader to finish the thought. I've written about 20849084290384932 poems like these. I love them. Keep it up


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Old 04-21-2005, 12:38 PM   #14 (permalink)
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