Go to her

This is a discussion on Go to her within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; My life halted for the seconds I waited for her head to turn.... ....so long I've wanted...so much I've yearned... ...


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Old 04-10-2005, 07:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
No bigger than my height.
 
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Go to her
My life halted for the seconds I waited for her head to turn....
....so long I've wanted...so much I've yearned...
I chased my dream...and asked it's name....
she smiled and revealed she felt the same....
revealed secrets I never knew I could
...forever thinking it would do no good....
and she forgave my lies...and tried for more...
I gave her my heart...and she gave me hers...
we enjoyed each moment...her eyes rolled back...
God as my witness, I never 'loved' like that...
I taught her the way...she never experienced since
she was my queen...I stayed as humble as a prince...
but gone was the magic...and born was the fear...
reality was a dream...what am I doing here...
please don't leave...don't be so afraid...
I will love you Katrina...til I'm sent to my grave....
but low and behold...she decided to cave in...
the pressure to much to bare...she just gave in....
Your not what I need...she says...you were a pleasant thought
that wasn't her first intentions...look how hard she faught...
and I tried to keep her.. I was such a dreamer...
and though she left me...I could never leave her...

(..........)

months passed and I tried to move on....
got more involved with my kids...I couldn't do wrong...
but her memory remained through movies and song
I didn't realize that I felt so strong....
and as I try a to start fresh..it still rests in my mind
go to her Kevin...you still have time.
Don't let fear strip your life...tell her your feelings...
don't hold back...for the sky..break the fan in the ceiling...
don't think about the parents...or the forseen challenge
take her hand...and ask for understanding...
if you feel you deserve...go out and earn it.
but do it only if you mean it with earnest...
she knows that you care...no one sleeps and forgets...
your love touched her soul...at night she has wept...
she compares the new ones to you..trust me..it's true.
there'll be other men...just not another you...
so go to her..whenever you're ready...
look her in the eye...and tell her you'd love her if you'll let me....

Go to her.
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Old 04-10-2005, 08:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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A.S.B takes it up the butt!
Like the poem, real emotion coming from your words.

I see this poem in three parts.

Part I
My life halted for the seconds I waited for her head to turn....
I will love you Katrina...til I'm sent to my grave....

Part II
but low and behold...she decided to cave in...
I didn't realize that I felt so strong....

Part III
and as I try a to start fresh..it still rests in my mind
Go to her.

When you do "go to her" you should post a follow-up.
Last edited by A.S.B; 04-10-2005 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 04-10-2005, 09:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
No bigger than my height.
 
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Thank you very much.
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Old 04-14-2005, 03:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Uppin for the sleepers.
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Old 04-16-2005, 02:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Very nice...

'I taught her the way...she never experienced since
she was my queen...I stayed as humble as a prince...
but gone was the magic...and born was the fear...
reality was a dream...what am I doing here...' - Nice..

'months passed and I tried to move on....
got more involved with my kids...I couldn't do wrong...
but her memory remained through movies and song
I didn't realize that I felt so strong....' - Ill

'if you feel you deserve...go out and earn it.
but do it only if you mean it with earnest...
she knows that you care...no one sleeps and forgets...
your love touched her soul...at night she has wept...' - Nice!

Peace!
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Old 04-17-2005, 08:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
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skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!skandelous_lala will do you doggie style!
I liked that very much. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-17-2005, 02:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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this was beautifully written man,
but if she leaves you like that,you shouldnt go back to her...
to me it just shows desperation,
cuz ive been their many times my damn self...
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Old 04-20-2005, 02:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
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the Guy with a Pen takes it up the butt!
this poem was almost flawless in its flow,

I liked it,
with a little revision, it still can be flawless in its flow

there were a couple parts that really took me back

"My life halted for the seconds I waited for her head to turn....
....so long I've wanted...so much I've yearned..."

"Don't let fear strip your life...tell her your feelings...
don't hold back...for the sky..break the fan in the ceiling..."



great stuff!
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Old 04-20-2005, 06:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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interesting, reminded me a bit of an RSTL type peice... Descent read, you have a very good writer's voice as you should considering you've been here so long... I'd say that perhaps you could have made your message more powerful with shorter lines. Because these are all one man's emotions, I see it as being something kind of drifting, yet long, far away, and maybe slightly forgotten... I don't know, it was pretty good though, so not to say anything bad about it, just a thought... Liked the emotion you were able to desplay though... Give my peice a peek when you get the chance...
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Old 05-01-2005, 12:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
No bigger than my height.
 
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Thanks everyone. And it's over. Closure completed.
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Old 05-01-2005, 09:20 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Bhitiah takes it up the butt!
"but low and behold...she decided to cave in...
the pressure to much to bare...she just gave in....
Your not what I need...she says...you were a pleasant thought
that wasn't her first intentions...look how hard she faught...
and I tried to keep her.. I was such a dreamer...
and though she left me...I could never leave her..." <damn, loved that.........
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Old 05-17-2005, 07:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thank you.
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Old 05-17-2005, 10:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
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the first part reminded me so much of something i'm going through so right now with my ex. so this kind of put a personal touch on it for me. i would have to say this is one of the best straight flowing poems i've read recently, made it a very easy read which i liked. content was excellent and written with emotion which i also liked. i have nothing negative to say about this so overall this was beautifully written. look forward to reading something else from you
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Old 05-30-2005, 09:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Thank you all very much.
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