A

This is a discussion on A within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; In your hand you hold every thought. Each strand of truth you never got. I hope when you read this ...


Go Back   Rapmusic.com > Intellect Zone > Poetry Realm
A A
Register FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-10-2005, 01:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
mysterious
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 37
lilkris89 takes it up the butt!
A
In your hand you hold every thought. Each strand of truth you never got. I hope when you read this you'll finally see, the real lady your baby girl turned out to be! You sheltered my life and protected my heart and you continue to do it, and i'm sure you'll never stop. But i'm getting older now and i need to learn how to live on my own and i need room to grow. You said yourself you don't want me growing up, but the truth is i'm not gonna stop! Daddy you may not see it but i'm mature. I have been since i was four! Well technically speaking you know what i mean! Daddy i never hang out with my friends or go to the mall, or even when i was little played pretend or ball.Instead my face was inside of a book, in a computer or taking a look, at i drawing i drew or a poem i wrote, on how lonely i am it's because of you. The sheltered life you lead for me the rules you set put me in misery. I'm not like any other teenage girl i know. I'm not free or for that matter happy. Instead i'm depressed, and oh yes lets not forget, i'm suicidle. What a mess! Daddy i know this letter is harsh, and probably hard to understand, but i need you to know first hand.How i feel and what i think. I'm sure you'll agree it's the best thing. Daddy i love you always have and always will, but i need you to know.......What i want for my 16th is a life of my own. To make decisions without having you say no. For you to stop accusing me of this and that and for thinking that boys is the oinly thing i think about. Even though it's not. Wow this letter is pretty long, but not as long as i want, but i guess i'll stop it right here and right now cuz i'm sure you understand. Daddy take these words and process them both day and night. I'm sure you'll make the right decision, and i hope we're still alright!!!!!!!
__________________
Life's A Mystery
lilkris89 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2005, 06:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
I'm Pretty
 
Mind~$oul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: North Memphis BITCH!
Posts: 17,145
Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
Watch how many poems you got up on the first page. You're only allowed 2 and you have 4 up I closed 2 of them.
__________________
"Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney

"I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden
Mind~$oul is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2005, 08:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
Pro 31
 
RealMS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA
Posts: 4,228
RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!
Some words seemed forced, but I get what you're saying. I don't agree lol. Then again, I don't know the whole story except for this poem/letter. At first I was like dang, this structure, is it even one at all? Then I read it was a letter so...but anyway my dad was out of my life for most of my childhood and some of my preteen years, but now I love the time we have. Just wish I could relive my childhood because I know it'd be so different, but it makes me who I am, thanks for that. Can't explain how things work.

-Much Love
RealMS is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2005, 03:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
U got a problem?
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,789
AlmostFamous takes it up the butt!
nice piece girly...

like realms said i wasnt sure at first if this had a form or what...but after i read it two times i realized its just a letter base for your own liking... ]


niceness for sure... rep for taking this hard topic and making it enjoyable
__________________
the good lord giveth and he taketh away
isnt that the truth
My name is Nate Short
MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate
AlmostFamous is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2005, 03:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
Enternal Knowledge
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 73
LthGd takes it up the butt!
This was a decent poem. I didnt really get the concept of it though. But I feel that it had some good emotional qualitys and the structure wasnt that good to me. It's just a personal preference.
LthGd is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-2005, 09:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
mysterious
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 37
lilkris89 takes it up the butt!
Thanx yall.

much love~*
__________________
Life's A Mystery
lilkris89 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-2005, 11:12 AM   #7 (permalink)
I got id.
 
absolute zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NO NO NO
Posts: 7,337
absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!absolute zero will do you doggie style!
towards the end i thought it was going to turn into a suicide note. Pretty nice piece. I would've said i would like to see it structured, but i guess it's a letter, so it is structured.

" Wow this letter is pretty long, but not as long as i want"

really simple line, but it really stuck out to me. Dont know why though.

God Bless.
__________________
They say money changes you
but money don't change you
it just makes you more of what you
already are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanijah View Post
I'm just a trash bag bitch
absolute zero is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2005, 09:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
Dikin' since 83...
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chi - could - Go .. Iller Noize
Posts: 4,506
Czarina WiseDome DIE!Czarina WiseDome DIE!Czarina WiseDome DIE!Czarina WiseDome DIE!Czarina WiseDome DIE!Czarina WiseDome DIE!
Nice.. great emotion behind this piece.. I loved the randomness.. overall very good drop..

Peace!
__________________

i ain't neve been no fool .. i just put off graduatin' for a pair of tennis shoes - T. I.

Still Gifted...
Czarina WiseDome is offline  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:14 AM.

Contact Us - RapMusic.com - Archive - Privacy Statement - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.2.0
Copyright (c) 800Media.com
Copyright © 1998-2008 800Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
No portions of this site may be duplicated without permission from 800Media, Inc.
Advertising | Privacy Policy