We ain't lost

[koban4max]

There's no sense of livin' when the world is killin'
for what purpose has it for us when we ain't really healin'
As time moves on, the loves one we missed...gone
everything we see, the dreams that we really want,
I couldn't spare a minute of my life
when I witnessed this little girl commiting suicide.
She didn't had the ability to eat,
as death kissed her in her last sleep.
I visioned the road to the path of lost graves
where many lost souls were victims of depraves.
As I looked up in the dark sky,
I felt the pain from the heaven when the lord cried.
Even when things are gone in a minute,
at least we can finally say that we really did it.
From the darkest time to peace,
I hope you know that our mind will finally be at eased.

The rose of last love grew maturely,
wonder if we could do the same but purely?
I looked in my past, and already seen the future,
hopin to the change our mind even if it didn't really suit ya.
I remember a homeless man walking through the dark,
ain't afraid of unknown as long as his heart sparked.
So, no matter what we gonna face from wasted dust,
don't look down, baby, just look up and trust.
I could of imagine the bondage of agony,
with these sadden souls, people question their identity.
What if I look away from all these pain,
will I be the one the lord wanna pertain?
Whatever it is, or what you ever do,
God loves you and that's the truth,
so, there's no need to dig it from its own root.

[MisterEThoughts]

Hey, This was real cool... I am really digging it... i feel the same but no one is listening....

Favorite Lines...

I could of imagine the bondage of agony,
with these sadden souls, people question their identity.
What if I look away from all these pain,
will I be the one the lord wanna pertain?
Whatever it is, or what you ever do,
God loves you and that's the truth,
so, there's no need to dig it from its own root.


really was digging this lines...
really stood out...

[Philly_215]

damn this just flowed and damn it was deep

stay up fam stay up

[koban4max]

thanks guys...and um..mister e..haha i know you mean...haha nobody listen...

[UFO the Phoenix]

wooooooooooooooord


up


this was cool......you seem to be in yo own zone lately I love it!!!


There's no sense of livin' when the world is killin'
for what purpose has it for us when we ain't really healin'
As time moves on, the loves one we missed...gone
everything we see, the dreams that we really want,

^grabbed my attention in the first few words...lol....powerful....heartfel t and disturbing....I didnt wanna take this in but turning our head from the problems never solve them.....so I took this head on......this seemed heavy with deep dark depressed death......and yet it had a unique depth of hope behind it.....the inquiry of asking for some healing....despite the killing, love ones dying....dreams shattering.....this reminded me of that 8.7 earthquake that hit indonesia the other day with no warning.......sad


I couldn't spare a minute of my life
when I witnessed this little girl commiting suicide.
She didn't had the ability to eat,
as death kissed her in her last sleep.


This reminded me of the Terri Schavio case (fight for right to life or die)....all over the news so it kinda has stuck with me and when I read this part it just seemed so along the lines of that eating disorder and how many girls that are killing themselves behind close doors.....that fact alone sounding like a burden on your own heart....."couldnt spare a minute".....of your own life.....that was deep....and it didnt really...........hit me..................until.......... .................................no w?


I visioned the road to the path of lost graves
where many lost souls were victims of depraves.
As I looked up in the dark sky,
I felt the pain from the heaven when the lord cried.


^I love the way you present this....so inocent so peaceful.....but also so sad.....asking why without asking "WHY"...ya know?.....the lost-graves of lost-souls was deep and fits nicely with our current generation......the lord cried remind me of the movie "PASSION" when they killed Jesus and one tear drops on the earth causing a great earthquake.....maybe these current tragedys we see today in our world is "heavens pain".....Jesus did mention in the last days earth will have many birth pains.....(earthquakes and what not.........hmmmmmmmmmm)


Even when things are gone in a minute,
at least we can finally say that we really did it.
From the darkest time to peace,
I hope you know that our mind will finally be at eased.


^this reminded me of the tsumnai and hurrcanes that have hit recently.....everything gone in a minute....no joke.....this was so vivid and yet so simple it's almost like you have a way of saying everything in a few short easy lines....nothing complex nothing abstract and yet behind your tone and approach there is great depth.....thats what I got with the "darkest time to peace".....death....but yet maybe not.....mind at eased made my thoughts wonder off in a disperse tangent about the after life.....your worded seemed off but then I have to question these motives and see if you did this on purpose....and you did....makes it sound more personal


The rose of last love grew maturely,
wonder if we could do the same but purely?
I looked in my past, and already seen the future,
hopin to the change our mind even if it didn't really suit ya.

^the rose line opens up a new stanza which was sorta interesting twist....last love growing more maturely from it but alas it must die as well....no immortal petals.....I love the looked in my past....and learning from your mistakes you can see your future....that was deep.....change our mind was also a nice followup to this line....this poem has changed drastically just by adding these 4 simple lines of your past love life...and just left it at that.....such a paradox I dunno perhaps I'm goign to far into it but you gotta break this poem down for me because now I'm seeing new layers to it



I remember a homeless man walking through the dark,
ain't afraid of unknown as long as his heart sparked.
So, no matter what we gonna face from wasted dust,
don't look down, baby, just look up and trust.

^ok wait a minute this also expanded your love twist to the poem.....awwww this was my favorite part and after rereading it it sounds even more clever then before....the whole concept of relating your heart with that of a wondering homeless man in the dark.....unafraid of the unknown?!?!?!?.....WOW....so true.....dont look down baby look up....."just-trust".....clever twist here....by far my favorite part

I could of imagine the bondage of agony,
with these sadden souls, people question their identity.
What if I look away from all these pain,
will I be the one the lord wanna pertain?

^now here is where you step out of yourself....the inquiry goes beyond deep you question it all....and how it all relates to you and pain....bondage of agony.....reminded me of sin.....and described all people lost questioning their own identity and purpose....then the looking away from your pains-identity you step away from the norm and turn upward to the lord...."pain-pertain"....so clever


Whatever it is, or what you ever do,
God loves you and that's the truth,
so, there's no need to dig it from its own root.

^..............................grea t ending you bring it all home with that last line.....God loves you period....truth....no question....final.......so you dont need to dig this fact up from its root (heart/soul?).....awwwww man this was tight


thank you for your inspiration....I hope my detailed feedback was able to help you on not only your poetry walk but in your spiritual walk

Peace be to you






PS: Me you, MisterEthoughts and Luther need to do a spiritual collabo.....get at me I got this crazy concept

[koban4max]

Originally Posted by UFO the Phoenix

wooooooooooooooord


up


this was cool......you seem to be in yo own zone lately I love it!!!


There's no sense of livin' when the world is killin'
for what purpose has it for us when we ain't really healin'
As time moves on, the loves one we missed...gone
everything we see, the dreams that we really want,

^grabbed my attention in the first few words...lol....powerful....heartfel t and disturbing....I didnt wanna take this in but turning our head from the problems never solve them.....so I took this head on......this seemed heavy with deep dark depressed death......and yet it had a unique depth of hope behind it.....the inquiry of asking for some healing....despite the killing, love ones dying....dreams shattering.....this reminded me of that 8.7 earthquake that hit indonesia the other day with no warning.......sad


I couldn't spare a minute of my life
when I witnessed this little girl commiting suicide.
She didn't had the ability to eat,
as death kissed her in her last sleep.


This reminded me of the Terri Schavio case (fight for right to life or die)....all over the news so it kinda has stuck with me and when I read this part it just seemed so along the lines of that eating disorder and how many girls that are killing themselves behind close doors.....that fact alone sounding like a burden on your own heart....."couldnt spare a minute".....of your own life.....that was deep....and it didnt really...........hit me..................until.......... .................................no w?


I visioned the road to the path of lost graves
where many lost souls were victims of depraves.
As I looked up in the dark sky,
I felt the pain from the heaven when the lord cried.


^I love the way you present this....so inocent so peaceful.....but also so sad.....asking why without asking "WHY"...ya know?.....the lost-graves of lost-souls was deep and fits nicely with our current generation......the lord cried remind me of the movie "PASSION" when they killed Jesus and one tear drops on the earth causing a great earthquake.....maybe these current tragedys we see today in our world is "heavens pain".....Jesus did mention in the last days earth will have many birth pains.....(earthquakes and what not.........hmmmmmmmmmm)


Even when things are gone in a minute,
at least we can finally say that we really did it.
From the darkest time to peace,
I hope you know that our mind will finally be at eased.


^this reminded me of the tsumnai and hurrcanes that have hit recently.....everything gone in a minute....no joke.....this was so vivid and yet so simple it's almost like you have a way of saying everything in a few short easy lines....nothing complex nothing abstract and yet behind your tone and approach there is great depth.....thats what I got with the "darkest time to peace".....death....but yet maybe not.....mind at eased made my thoughts wonder off in a disperse tangent about the after life.....your worded seemed off but then I have to question these motives and see if you did this on purpose....and you did....makes it sound more personal


The rose of last love grew maturely,
wonder if we could do the same but purely?
I looked in my past, and already seen the future,
hopin to the change our mind even if it didn't really suit ya.

^the rose line opens up a new stanza which was sorta interesting twist....last love growing more maturely from it but alas it must die as well....no immortal petals.....I love the looked in my past....and learning from your mistakes you can see your future....that was deep.....change our mind was also a nice followup to this line....this poem has changed drastically just by adding these 4 simple lines of your past love life...and just left it at that.....such a paradox I dunno perhaps I'm goign to far into it but you gotta break this poem down for me because now I'm seeing new layers to it



I remember a homeless man walking through the dark,
ain't afraid of unknown as long as his heart sparked.
So, no matter what we gonna face from wasted dust,
don't look down, baby, just look up and trust.

^ok wait a minute this also expanded your love twist to the poem.....awwww this was my favorite part and after rereading it it sounds even more clever then before....the whole concept of relating your heart with that of a wondering homeless man in the dark.....unafraid of the unknown?!?!?!?.....WOW....so true.....dont look down baby look up....."just-trust".....clever twist here....by far my favorite part

I could of imagine the bondage of agony,
with these sadden souls, people question their identity.
What if I look away from all these pain,
will I be the one the lord wanna pertain?

^now here is where you step out of yourself....the inquiry goes beyond deep you question it all....and how it all relates to you and pain....bondage of agony.....reminded me of sin.....and described all people lost questioning their own identity and purpose....then the looking away from your pains-identity you step away from the norm and turn upward to the lord...."pain-pertain"....so clever


Whatever it is, or what you ever do,
God loves you and that's the truth,
so, there's no need to dig it from its own root.

^..............................grea t ending you bring it all home with that last line.....God loves you period....truth....no question....final.......so you dont need to dig this fact up from its root (heart/soul?).....awwwww man this was tight


thank you for your inspiration....I hope my detailed feedback was able to help you on not only your poetry walk but in your spiritual walk

Peace be to you






PS: Me you, MisterEthoughts and Luther need to do a spiritual collabo.....get at me I got this crazy concept

GOd bless you all and especially ufo...seriously..thank you for telling me how YOU feel and not really about me...i'm happy how you express yourself from reply..i owe you alot...thank u..homie

[Czarina WiseDome]

This was nice.. an already.. driven concept though...

I feel that somethings were said just for the sake of rhyming.. overall.. pretty felt piece.. peace!

[Bhitiah]

"I could of imagine the bondage of agony,
with these sadden souls, people question their identity."

That part was cool...
Nice peice

[UFO the Phoenix]

THE "SEVEN" collabo is in progress Koban peep this thread and check in....then get at me for further detail thru email or however you can be reached

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...3#post11510803

[Mind~$oul]

Wow Koban, I must say you really put your foot in this one. Really enjoyed the read. You started off real strong with the first couple of lines and didnt look back from there. Uppin for you


One luv