The Demons on the inside ( my first real vent thru poerty )

Philly_215 · 03-29-2005, 03:20 PM

So now my words have strength
Powers bestowed in script, many consider it a gift
Besting my self with every word I print
Expanding my style, defining my views
Put Me on the line, judge me, my talent and how hard I tried
Every ones a critic, every one can perfect on I
I learn as I go along but so many are like "nah"
So many say that's good, but they can do better
Add this, change that, give It a little more flavor
Read what I wrote smile and say nice
Turn and laugh, "damn why's he even write"
Say each poem sounds so much a like
But I am one man with one man's sight

Some wish I'd stick to the drawing arts, the pictures I draw some how touch the heart
I take that and write but to them I'm just "aight"
I write about anything at all,
from the dirt on ceiling to the day love wasn't eternal any more
Truthfully I surprise my self, but yall really don't believe in me
Honestly I write to prove I have something worth while to speak
I write to see how many the little mans views would reach
I've been told I brought a tear, given someone's soul a rise
Cleared out the fog of self imposed lies
Handed a smile to those ready to lay down and die

My mind moves around rarely in the same place twice
I consider this me, but many think I am trying to be way to many things
I try my hand at something extreme and its like "damn here we go again"
Never knew what I wanted, couldn't tell you in a year were I'd be
But for all those that aint sure a pen will be with me
I Take the anger to fuel the mind, prove them wrong with every thing at every chance and time
Use what I have, limit my self never even with no ones by my side

MisterEThoughts · 03-29-2005, 03:37 PM

Yo, Dang! I can relate to this.. I feel exactly the same... You know for the first time this was real nice... i am truly feeeling this ... this really nice....

you need to write more... this was really good for the first time...

Turn and laugh, "damn why's he even write"
Say each poem sounds so much a like
But I am one man with one man's sight

favorite lines....

Philly_215 · 03-29-2005, 04:02 PM

just to make it clear i wrote this around 02 or 03..

thanks thoughts stay up fam

uppin

RealMS · 03-31-2005, 02:08 PM

-didn't seem anything at all like a vent, you seemed to take that heat pretty calmly, and somewhat respectively, but yeah I know how that is...criticism is all good but I think you need to get a full grasp of a poem before giving it kind of. I mean a person will decipher a piece in so many ways, and to the writer it may mean a certain thing but there really are no "accurate answers"-how I feel anyway. Good thing I caught this before I read somethng else ;)

-Much Love

MisterEThoughts · 03-31-2005, 02:36 PM

This was definitely real nice... I just thought you did everything right except you didn't finish it it seemed... You know I wouldn't want you to go back to drawing... I want you to keep writing... I got to admit this was really nice... I feel this way sometimes too... This really helped me see a few things... Thanks.... Bro, you need to keep writing... Because you definitely can reach a lot of people with skills you poses... This was fire.. Keep it up...

I would quote but I loved the whole thing.... heh... nice man.... maybe add a part 2 because it seems to me you didn't finish....

koban4max · 03-31-2005, 04:34 PM

did you say 2 or 3??? damn...u have high energy ...good job....love poem
i liked the picture stanza...good job.

Mind~$oul · 04-02-2005, 07:30 PM

This poem had a nice calm feeling to it for it to be a vent. Seem like it was more thought out than something put out there randomly or whatever. But I liked the point you were trying to get across. Though it's old, I think it's one of your better pieces. Keep it up

One luv

03-29-2005, 03:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Philly_215 The Silent Poet Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: some time here and sometimes there Posts: 426	The Demons on the inside ( my first real vent thru poerty ) So now my words have strength Powers bestowed in script, many consider it a gift Besting my self with every word I print Expanding my style, defining my views Put Me on the line, judge me, my talent and how hard I tried Every ones a critic, every one can perfect on I I learn as I go along but so many are like "nah" So many say that's good, but they can do better Add this, change that, give It a little more flavor Read what I wrote smile and say nice Turn and laugh, "damn why's he even write" Say each poem sounds so much a like But I am one man with one man's sight Some wish I'd stick to the drawing arts, the pictures I draw some how touch the heart I take that and write but to them I'm just "aight" I write about anything at all, from the dirt on ceiling to the day love wasn't eternal any more Truthfully I surprise my self, but yall really don't believe in me Honestly I write to prove I have something worth while to speak I write to see how many the little mans views would reach I've been told I brought a tear, given someone's soul a rise Cleared out the fog of self imposed lies Handed a smile to those ready to lay down and die My mind moves around rarely in the same place twice I consider this me, but many think I am trying to be way to many things I try my hand at something extreme and its like "damn here we go again" Never knew what I wanted, couldn't tell you in a year were I'd be But for all those that aint sure a pen will be with me I Take the anger to fuel the mind, prove them wrong with every thing at every chance and time Use what I have, limit my self never even with no ones by my side __________________ "No bodies going to love me like me so i'm a soul provider" Joe Buddens "So for all you wana be's who's attitude is shitty God don't like ugly but he aint to fond of pretty neither" Lyfe Jennings http://www.myspace.com/watcher07 Last edited by Philly_215; 03-29-2005 at 03:21 PM.

03-29-2005, 03:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	Yo, Dang! I can relate to this.. I feel exactly the same... You know for the first time this was real nice... i am truly feeeling this ... this really nice.... you need to write more... this was really good for the first time... Turn and laugh, "damn why's he even write" Say each poem sounds so much a like But I am one man with one man's sight favorite lines.... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-29-2005, 04:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Philly_215 The Silent Poet Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: some time here and sometimes there Posts: 426	just to make it clear i wrote this around 02 or 03.. thanks thoughts stay up fam uppin __________________ "No bodies going to love me like me so i'm a soul provider" Joe Buddens "So for all you wana be's who's attitude is shitty God don't like ugly but he aint to fond of pretty neither" Lyfe Jennings http://www.myspace.com/watcher07

03-31-2005, 02:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	This was definitely real nice... I just thought you did everything right except you didn't finish it it seemed... You know I wouldn't want you to go back to drawing... I want you to keep writing... I got to admit this was really nice... I feel this way sometimes too... This really helped me see a few things... Thanks.... Bro, you need to keep writing... Because you definitely can reach a lot of people with skills you poses... This was fire.. Keep it up... I would quote but I loved the whole thing.... heh... nice man.... maybe add a part 2 because it seems to me you didn't finish.... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

04-02-2005, 07:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	This poem had a nice calm feeling to it for it to be a vent. Seem like it was more thought out than something put out there randomly or whatever. But I liked the point you were trying to get across. Though it's old, I think it's one of your better pieces. Keep it up One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

03-31-2005, 02:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,228	-didn't seem anything at all like a vent, you seemed to take that heat pretty calmly, and somewhat respectively, but yeah I know how that is...criticism is all good but I think you need to get a full grasp of a poem before giving it kind of. I mean a person will decipher a piece in so many ways, and to the writer it may mean a certain thing but there really are no "accurate answers"-how I feel anyway. Good thing I caught this before I read somethng else ;) -Much Love

03-31-2005, 04:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
koban4max Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 428	did you say 2 or 3??? damn...u have high energy ...good job....love poem i liked the picture stanza...good job.

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