I hear Voices The Damn Voices

MisterEThoughts · 03-28-2005, 11:46 PM

I hear voices, many voices...
in the dark and in the tither night...
i hear voices damn them voices...
i hear them...through the night...
voices in my head, voices in my ears...voices in my brain...
i hear them damn voices...damn damn voices...
they cluttering my mind.. .they cluttering my feelings.. my emotions.. my desires and wants...
i hear the voices oh them damn voices...
i hear them in the night and i hear them in the day...
the voices dagger through the brain of unthered moonlit sky... inside my deep memory.. which transcribes into voices... of not hearing but hearing them come.. .and hearing them go as they came and were gone...

I worked with a topic... Trying to stay away from just talking about random stuff... so this is one of my first topics....but this was keyed... so take it easy...

Xero Satsujin · 03-29-2005, 12:09 AM

well I told you already what I think about it, so work on and with that and if you change it, lemme know...

MisterEThoughts · 03-29-2005, 12:15 AM

OK, thanks bro.. Much respect... I am going to try it...

TrueEmcee · 03-29-2005, 12:20 AM

yeah really straight forward, nothing lyrically to make it special
but as always with every peice of poetry it came from the heart and respect fo that
it was a good topic, how all the voices hang around in your head
kinda hard to sleep at night sometimes

MisterEThoughts · 03-29-2005, 12:36 AM

Thanks Bro...haha i feel ya.... i guess just to release the voices haha,... Demon wise...thanks man...

All~In-A~Key · 03-29-2005, 03:17 AM

Kind of over repetive you think, lol... fucking with you man

Ehh... not feeling the piece, but those damn vioces

Stay Up, Much Love, Peace

illpoetical · 03-29-2005, 10:23 AM

misterE i liked this, it did seem that it needs to be refined, it seems like ytou have a good foundation for a loinger more in depth peice,

Halloween Jack · 03-29-2005, 11:27 AM

i like this. i like this wierd sh!t a lot. i hear voices too sometimes..... most of the time actually...... wait, to be honest, i hear voices all the time...... no, really tho, im really a voice in someone elses head........

RealMS · 03-29-2005, 01:41 PM

yeah I knew better lol...you not done with this one! Esp. how you ended it, gimme some more...I understand this completely but as long as I have my headphones I'm alright. The title just made me laugh (out loud...yeah) b/c it makes me think about my grandfather and how he would mumble at himself on little things, like if something's out of place-when the leaves blow in his yard lol,

i hear voices damn them voices...
^this sounds like something I would say, damn all that!

-Much Love

MisterEThoughts · 03-29-2005, 02:03 PM

HAHA thanks all much respect i will see what i can doo... yea them voices bother me at night heh... fuckin ghosts i think haha....

UFO the Phoenix · 03-29-2005, 02:04 PM

wooooooooooord up

I think maybe we all hear voices in a way so that fact alone was interesting to run with...the concept was done well....flipped in a way that only you can pull off....mysterious for my thought to ponder thank you once again

but on the real I like this....and the random rhyme of "emotions" was clever.....with a little work this piece could really be something

holla

MisterEThoughts · 03-29-2005, 02:06 PM

heh thanks bro you definitely know what to say... damn.. thanks bro... we needa collab and this time it's serious....

Mind~$oul · 03-31-2005, 02:04 AM

This was a cool piece. I gotta say i've seen better from you though. Seem like you got caught up saying the same thing in this piece over and over. You should work on that. Keep it up though.

One luv

MisterEThoughts · 03-31-2005, 03:14 AM

thanks... but that was the point of it bro... i meant to do that....

koban4max · 03-31-2005, 06:16 AM

that voice scares me..hahah jk...good poem man...keep it up...

ChyllTyrant · 03-31-2005, 07:19 AM

sorry man. but this seemed to easy to do. if you were really tortured by voices, like i am... you would let it out slow to exasperate and torture your audience... that's the point of poetry.

this is more like something i might have written on a piece of tissue that i had cried an endless night, and then burned.

keep writing tho, you probably have potential.

PEACE

lpoet · 03-31-2005, 12:19 PM

this was cool...i like the concept but i think you could have played it better...you should have elaborated on each line and told more about the voices..would have made for a better and more understanding read

still nice to see your work

Upin for ya

MisterEThoughts · 03-31-2005, 02:25 PM

Thanks all.. I understand... I will work on it to provide more depth... thanks guys...

03-28-2005, 11:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	I hear Voices The Damn Voices I hear voices, many voices... in the dark and in the tither night... i hear voices damn them voices... i hear them...through the night... voices in my head, voices in my ears...voices in my brain... i hear them damn voices...damn damn voices... they cluttering my mind.. .they cluttering my feelings.. my emotions.. my desires and wants... i hear the voices oh them damn voices... i hear them in the night and i hear them in the day... the voices dagger through the brain of unthered moonlit sky... inside my deep memory.. which transcribes into voices... of not hearing but hearing them come.. .and hearing them go as they came and were gone... I worked with a topic... Trying to stay away from just talking about random stuff... so this is one of my first topics....but this was keyed... so take it easy... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-29-2005, 12:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,197	well I told you already what I think about it, so work on and with that and if you change it, lemme know... __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..."

03-29-2005, 12:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	OK, thanks bro.. Much respect... I am going to try it... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-29-2005, 12:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
TrueEmcee Run. Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,162	yeah really straight forward, nothing lyrically to make it special but as always with every peice of poetry it came from the heart and respect fo that it was a good topic, how all the voices hang around in your head kinda hard to sleep at night sometimes __________________ one.

03-29-2005, 12:36 AM	#5 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	Thanks Bro...haha i feel ya.... i guess just to release the voices haha,... Demon wise...thanks man... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-29-2005, 03:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
All~In-A~Key Allnakey Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 18	Kind of over repetive you think, lol... fucking with you man Ehh... not feeling the piece, but those damn vioces Stay Up, Much Love, Peace

03-29-2005, 10:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
illpoetical raising the bar everyday Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Long Island Posts: 1,533	misterE i liked this, it did seem that it needs to be refined, it seems like ytou have a good foundation for a loinger more in depth peice, __________________ How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live. The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.

03-29-2005, 11:27 AM	#8 (permalink)
Halloween Jack Heavens Demon Join Date: May 2001 Location: a place called Shadows Fall... that small town in the back of beyond where legends go to die when the world stops believing in them... and nightmares go to wait till they're called again... Posts: 7,310	i like this. i like this wierd sh!t a lot. i hear voices too sometimes..... most of the time actually...... wait, to be honest, i hear voices all the time...... no, really tho, im really a voice in someone elses head........ __________________ Sig 8 lines maximum including spaces

03-29-2005, 01:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,228	yeah I knew better lol...you not done with this one! Esp. how you ended it, gimme some more...I understand this completely but as long as I have my headphones I'm alright. The title just made me laugh (out loud...yeah) b/c it makes me think about my grandfather and how he would mumble at himself on little things, like if something's out of place-when the leaves blow in his yard lol, i hear voices damn them voices... ^this sounds like something I would say, damn all that! -Much Love

03-29-2005, 02:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	HAHA thanks all much respect i will see what i can doo... yea them voices bother me at night heh... fuckin ghosts i think haha.... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-29-2005, 02:04 PM	#11 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	wooooooooooord up I think maybe we all hear voices in a way so that fact alone was interesting to run with...the concept was done well....flipped in a way that only you can pull off....mysterious for my thought to ponder thank you once again but on the real I like this....and the random rhyme of "emotions" was clever.....with a little work this piece could really be something holla __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

03-29-2005, 02:06 PM	#12 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	heh thanks bro you definitely know what to say... damn.. thanks bro... we needa collab and this time it's serious.... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-31-2005, 02:04 AM	#13 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	This was a cool piece. I gotta say i've seen better from you though. Seem like you got caught up saying the same thing in this piece over and over. You should work on that. Keep it up though. One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

03-31-2005, 03:14 AM	#14 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	thanks... but that was the point of it bro... i meant to do that.... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

03-31-2005, 06:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
koban4max Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 428	that voice scares me..hahah jk...good poem man...keep it up...

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

03-31-2005, 07:19 AM	#16 (permalink)
ChyllTyrant AmIEternalOrAnEternalist? Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Syracuse, NY Posts: 830	sorry man. but this seemed to easy to do. if you were really tortured by voices, like i am... you would let it out slow to exasperate and torture your audience... that's the point of poetry. this is more like something i might have written on a piece of tissue that i had cried an endless night, and then burned. keep writing tho, you probably have potential. PEACE __________________ Twyll The ChyllTyrant aka Verbal Kynt aka Soul Prophet aka Wally Wigglez And Like That... He's Gone The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist. http://www.myspace.com/twyllthechylltyrant http://www.myspace.com/realninjtruth http://www.soundclick.com/tyrantny

03-31-2005, 12:19 PM	#17 (permalink)
lpoet POET Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 12,672	this was cool...i like the concept but i think you could have played it better...you should have elaborated on each line and told more about the voices..would have made for a better and more understanding read still nice to see your work Upin for ya __________________ "SHE CAME BACK TO ME AND I PRAY SHE STAYS" --lpoet

03-31-2005, 02:25 PM	#18 (permalink)
MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bay Area,Cali Posts: 1,962	Thanks all.. I understand... I will work on it to provide more depth... thanks guys... __________________ complicated visionary....injected beauty... provided by the starry night of misery... http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=800464 My Published Book. "A Closed Window Of Truth"

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode