Red Tears

[rhino42]

The pain in my heart
Is bleeding through my soul.
The darkness is endless,
Like a bottomless hole.
Everyday that passes by,
I just wanna cry,
But no one hears my screams,
So I'll bleed until I die.
As the blood starts flowing
From cut body parts and blacked eyes,
I lay here hoping
Someone hears my cries.
But it's hard to hear
Through deaf ears,
So I'll lay here; dying,
As my eyes fill with tears.

Erik Bützin

thid is a repost cuz i posted it b4 but i didnt realize i already had 2 pieces on the front page so here it is

[Xyliere]

I'm not much for the rhyming in the first part, sounds too restrained, but I do love these lines:

"But it's hard to hear
Through deaf ears,
So I'll lay here; dying"

[RealMS]

You already know my standing point as far as constructed criticism, but this is a building block we all come across. I say all cause I haven't met not a one yet who hasn't come across it. Simple in my opinion but at the same time you gotta let that out of you, what you goin through the easiest way, most convenient way you know best-

me and you should talk sometime, but not tonight lol I'm about to get some shut eye.

-Much Love

[AlmostFamous]

damn you always be on the suicidal notes

i hope you are joking about it..

let me know if you are or what

[rhino42]

thanks to all u for yo replies, i know alot of these poems i b puttin on here are kinda suicidal, but that is how i been feelin lately, for several reasons, i will be puttin some other kinds of poems though,

RealMS, thats cool, just hit me up on yahoo messenger: rino9961

[MisterEThoughts]

Nice, but yea kind of depressing... to much violence... i am digging the rhyme though... short but to the point....

[All~In-A~Key]

Violence... Nah... Emotion yea... Violnce is an act... emotions are the feelings, anyways this was a simple little. Carried a lot of dark feelings, but that's how you feel I hope you cheer up, cause there is a lot out there to be happy for, ven if it doesn't all appear relivant(sp)


Stay Up, Much Love, Peace

[rhino42]

hey im glad u liked the rhyme scheme mister e, i was hoping someone would like it

thanks All~In~A~Key. i hope i cheer up, well im starting to

all replies much appreciated,