Breaking Des Moines

[absolute zero]

I.

Have you walked two cities?
Watched the moon tip the
Starless summit of 801 Grand?
Or sent sparkles towards
The decadent golden capital?

II.

I kept quarters for candy.
Ripped cigarettes for sale.
I ran from authorities, yes I
Remember kissing the pavement,
Begging for more from life.

III.

I cried oceans into her
Soil, and have been witness
To Three families in peril.
Their hearts beat slower and
Slower each year, to cease.

IV.

I left you sobbing for serene
Septembers, and return for
Bitter nostalgia, burning June
To ashes. I trace smiles across
The sky, using Robin's beaks.

V

Lost in the immaculate home.
Fall is the season of vintage.
We've all seen the way
She dawns on us. The waves
Blur our summer sun to mourn.

VI

I couldn't swim. Yet built
A sea in concrete solitude.
It was our little avenue.
It was Heaven in the East.
So I'll be on the rooftops, singing.....

VII

It's these nights, the smell
Of sweet soy factories. Railroad
Tracks sigh: "You never know what
you have until You see it
For the first time............"

[Sole Sovereign]

Wow, lol.. no offense but I really couldn't live there. I have to say though, you took a not so interesting city and brought it to life through prose. You did it well too, just not much to say about any point of view from Des Moines.

[absolute zero]

lol....that's my home man....i love it more than anything.....but having said that, I am truly being bias.....it's just memories man.....thanks for the props though.....

[Quotive]

Dopeeeness..

"I left you sobbing for serene
Septembers, and return for
Bitter nostalgia, burning June
To ashes. I trace smiles across
The sky, using Robin's beaks."

Thats crazy. I see you've become way better. I've got to catch up..

[UFO the Phoenix]

Woooord up

Absolute Zero you have this style on lock....this was better then that other broken down poem you had when you counted the days or journal entrys....this was VERY CREATIVE...which I love about your work....and what makes it even harder to pull off is not relying on the rhymes...?!?!!?....and yet it still flows so smooth and gently....like magic...I dont know how you do it but I like it....that last stanza was cool too....sad but true....interesting concept....nice plot....love the twist and tour around this city of yours....left alot open...this could be expanded on and on and on and on and still would be hot.............word

PEACE AND GODBLESS

[absolute zero]

I just realized how much the last stanza makes Des Moines look like some kinda hick town or something....lol..... Obviously not the case, but yeah, just something I noticed. Thanks for everyone's replies.

[Mind~$oul]

Wow man this poem was incredible. I have always wanted to write something like this about my home but I can never pull it off. Very unique man. Structure was on point, made it so much easier to read. Shit was like a painted picture.

"Lost in the immaculate home.
Fall is the season of vintage.
We've all seen the way
She dawns on us. The waves
Blur our summer sun to mourn."

^That stanza was my favorite. Great imagery man


One luv


"

[RealMS]

It's like your childhood and growing out of the adolescence all summed up into this piece somehow. I never had the chance to run from the cops, but I was close to being handcuffed. Good times I guess, ehh if you wanna call it that. They just add on to my memories. There's this major railroad that runs through my town right by the bayou lol just to add. But face it, back home it's the slums. I should write about it more. Lets say this poem gives inspiration to that. I like the title as well, how you put it its like saying you're trying to get rid of the habit, or "Breaking the Habit" ha of living in your ways that you don't really like. But there you go!
-Much Love

[koban4max]

It's these nights, the smell
Of sweet soy factories. Railroad
Tracks sigh: "You never know what
you have until You see it
For the first time............"

that was a crazy line right there...good job