You are a rose (havent posted in a while)

Shibbymet · 02-01-2005, 01:08 AM

A rose is simple yet beautiful,

as are you,

simple in the ways that make you vibrant and show the world you are pure,

you are soft to the touch,

but all roses come with thorns,

as long as one is careful not to touch the wrong parts of your personality they will never see your anger,

you bloom with an almost stunning vibrancy as if to tell the world "behold me, for i am wonderful",

you are a simple yet complex thing,

as are all those most interesting to look apon,

you are a perfection in a world of mistakes,

you are a rose

screamer · 02-01-2005, 02:27 AM

eh? The rose methaphor is an overused concept, but hey it works we talk about ambiguities. Who's this one about....

Any way, some the emotion too was lacking, what's your connection with this rose... Did ya bleed form grabbin it in the worng place? A perfection amist what sort of mistakes? But perhaps I am over analysing.
Peace.
Screamore

Mind~$oul · 02-02-2005, 04:56 PM

Seem too empty to me. I feel like you could have added more emotion and imagery to this piece. Structure could be worked up a little also. The read was nice though nonetheles. Keep it up

One luv

~Eloquent · 02-02-2005, 09:07 PM

i liked it man,
every rose has its thorns...
i liked the metaphorical abstract sense you used...
detail was ok...
seems you could use more time to proofread and write,
add a little more later,
but i guess we all could use that though...
lol

welcome to the realm though

UFO the Phoenix · 02-04-2005, 12:44 AM

no shortcuts in the realm...respone to others....dont just post and run

02-01-2005, 01:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
Shibbymet Registered User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 40	You are a rose (havent posted in a while) A rose is simple yet beautiful, as are you, simple in the ways that make you vibrant and show the world you are pure, you are soft to the touch, but all roses come with thorns, as long as one is careful not to touch the wrong parts of your personality they will never see your anger, you bloom with an almost stunning vibrancy as if to tell the world "behold me, for i am wonderful", you are a simple yet complex thing, as are all those most interesting to look apon, you are a perfection in a world of mistakes, you are a rose __________________ Silence is golden, but it depends on where you at, and who you holdin.

02-02-2005, 04:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Seem too empty to me. I feel like you could have added more emotion and imagery to this piece. Structure could be worked up a little also. The read was nice though nonetheles. Keep it up One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

02-04-2005, 12:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	no shortcuts in the realm...respone to others....dont just post and run __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

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02-01-2005, 02:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
screamer Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 182	eh? The rose methaphor is an overused concept, but hey it works we talk about ambiguities. Who's this one about.... Any way, some the emotion too was lacking, what's your connection with this rose... Did ya bleed form grabbin it in the worng place? A perfection amist what sort of mistakes? But perhaps I am over analysing. Peace. Screamore

02-02-2005, 09:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
~Eloquent Cold Logic Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: trapped where i cant leave,Florida Posts: 3,825	i liked it man, every rose has its thorns... i liked the metaphorical abstract sense you used... detail was ok... seems you could use more time to proofread and write, add a little more later, but i guess we all could use that though... lol welcome to the realm though

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