I'm Done

*Hott Chocolate* · 01-31-2005, 04:26 AM

*I'm Done*

You sat beside me and watched my face
As my faulty heart endured its deaths.
And my open eyes beheld the nightmares-
Those that poisoned the beginnings of my breaths.

Flickering, fading. You sat by my side
Put out the little light i had left in me.
Trapped inside these shivering walls
Your strength, i honestly do envy.

What a tempting distraction sleep would be
Yet none comes, though the pain closed my eyes.
My faint heartbeat sets the rhythm
As my tears softly sing me lullabyes.

So scared but pretends to be so brave
Laughter used to conceal the fact she's been crying.
And this same girl that smiles for you today,
Tomorrow will once again be dying.

I try to preserve the very thing that destroys me
And i am left wondering what the point is to try
To obtain something i had too much hope for from someone
Who made me live just to let me die.

*cassie*

akqrate · 01-31-2005, 05:21 AM

honestly this was a greatly heartfelt poem. i believe i havent read any of your work so far. but this was too brutally honest and tugged at my heartstrings so much. the choice of words and the rhyme scheme made this poem infectious. oh yeah, and another thang, if he did this to you, then he aint worth it.

*Hott Chocolate* · 02-01-2005, 12:45 AM

thanks for the comment! and yeah i know he's not worth it but we were together for 2 years so it kinda hard to let go of that

Mind~$oul · 02-02-2005, 04:50 PM

Probably the best piece i've seen from you. Very heartfelt. Being honest to yourself is one of the hardest things to do. You finally let reality set in and you're able to move on. Hopefully.

One luv

absolute zero · 02-02-2005, 09:07 PM

I didn't know you wrote.....i have been gone for a minute though.......i'll be looking for more from you.......

God bless

UFO the Phoenix · 02-04-2005, 12:44 AM

no shortcuts in the realm...respone to others....dont just post and run or up your own post

I'm done

illpoetical · 02-05-2005, 01:54 AM

i liked the poem alot as well. very full of emotion and descriptive. you came very heartfelt and sincere.

Madnick · 02-05-2005, 02:08 AM

This was very heartfelt and it had a sense of imagery to it and that was nice because they complimented each other nicely. Keep posting and leaving feedback.

*Hott Chocolate* · 02-09-2005, 08:02 PM

thanks for the comments....and UFO, i do respond to others, i just haven't had the chance to be on here in sooo long. so dont worry.

01-31-2005, 04:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
Hott Chocolate current mood: happy Join Date: May 2000 Location: the goodland Posts: 4,380	*I'm Done* I'm Done You sat beside me and watched my face As my faulty heart endured its deaths. And my open eyes beheld the nightmares- Those that poisoned the beginnings of my breaths. Flickering, fading. You sat by my side Put out the little light i had left in me. Trapped inside these shivering walls Your strength, i honestly do envy. What a tempting distraction sleep would be Yet none comes, though the pain closed my eyes. My faint heartbeat sets the rhythm As my tears softly sing me lullabyes. So scared but pretends to be so brave Laughter used to conceal the fact she's been crying. And this same girl that smiles for you today, Tomorrow will once again be dying. I try to preserve the very thing that destroys me And i am left wondering what the point is to try To obtain something i had too much hope for from someone Who made me live just to let me die. cassie __________________ "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

01-31-2005, 05:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	honestly this was a greatly heartfelt poem. i believe i havent read any of your work so far. but this was too brutally honest and tugged at my heartstrings so much. the choice of words and the rhyme scheme made this poem infectious. oh yeah, and another thang, if he did this to you, then he aint worth it. __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

02-01-2005, 12:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
Hott Chocolate current mood: happy Join Date: May 2000 Location: the goodland Posts: 4,380	thanks for the comment! and yeah i know he's not worth it but we were together for 2 years so it kinda hard to let go of that __________________ "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

02-02-2005, 04:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Probably the best piece i've seen from you. Very heartfelt. Being honest to yourself is one of the hardest things to do. You finally let reality set in and you're able to move on. Hopefully. One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

02-04-2005, 12:44 AM	#6 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	no shortcuts in the realm...respone to others....dont just post and run or up your own post I'm done __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

02-05-2005, 01:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
illpoetical raising the bar everyday Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Long Island Posts: 1,533	i liked the poem alot as well. very full of emotion and descriptive. you came very heartfelt and sincere. __________________ How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live. The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.

02-05-2005, 02:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	This was very heartfelt and it had a sense of imagery to it and that was nice because they complimented each other nicely. Keep posting and leaving feedback.

02-09-2005, 08:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
Hott Chocolate current mood: happy Join Date: May 2000 Location: the goodland Posts: 4,380	thanks for the comments....and UFO, i do respond to others, i just haven't had the chance to be on here in sooo long. so dont worry. __________________ "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

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