Because People are Patterns

ManMadeofAshes · 01-31-2005, 03:08 AM

Because People are Patterns
(why I will be just fine)

I fucking dare you to eat me alive
this body only gets in my way
devour the glitter from my eyes
I can reclaim my sparkle any day

feed on my heart while its still beating
I'll turn it cold before it touches your lips
reach in me and take what you can
I will be a hole before you find your grip

go on and take my blood
because my life is art and art is life
feed off me until your bloated
this dissatisfaction makes me want to thrive

I was born into a struggle
I need this pain to fight
I grew up wearing a muzzle
now Im fucking pissed
and ready to bite

and I need someone to hate me
I have forgotten how to hate myself
I welcome each attempt to break me
if its not you it will be someone else

and I am ready
I've never been more ready

fucking kill me if you can

I've slaughtered myself a hundred times
but its become impossible for me to look back
since I realized

this is the first day of my life

ManMadeofAshes · 01-31-2005, 03:11 AM

ooopps.. I was going to do an intro. A 55 year old lesbian took me out to lunch today. I am friends with ... another lesbian who is just starting to get involved with this lady.. who is horribly wealthy. I told her my plans to go to San Fransico and major in film production. She said the city would eat me alive. I asked why and she said I am too open. So I explained that I spent 13 years of my life (being in a cult) being closed off. I told her I am sick of being that, and if I need to go back into that to survive than I will. Then I came home and wrote this.....

akqrate · 01-31-2005, 05:37 AM

WHOA MAN!!
u dont like being told what to do do huh? nah bro but for real this was some stuff i can relate to, about 3 yrs ago man i was hurt, betrayed by a bitch, fat as fcuk, failin my college, then this was the exact sensation i got that lead me to turn my life around. now i'm all i want to be, but obviously its in the nature of man to always progress...
about the piece man, the anger you displayed was exactly what was needed here, its like the whole poem was slamming the "you cant break me" idea in your face, and after that last line, which was the plainest line but also the most effective, you turned this piece into something magicians do. I love your stuff man but i adored this one especially.

ManMadeofAshes · 02-01-2005, 04:20 PM

awsome feed as always akgrate. Much appreciation. I am about sharing the love.

anyone else?

UFO the Phoenix · 02-01-2005, 05:21 PM

woooord up

man you are open...lol....I read the intro to this and it brought it more to life for me....people are patterns....scary but true....seems like your past struggles have made you a stronger person....you sound like you can handle anything this world has left to through at you....its all the same....I like the concept of hating yourself...past regrets....evening killing yourself...all in your thoughts....been on those paths before....so now you welcome it....and now it wont have any effect on you.....reminds me of this poem called "FEAR" I heard on def poetry jam?.....she was no longer afraid of fear and instead invited/dared it to come in her life again.....this was like that....interesting piece...different from your recent stuff....flooded with emotion and a different heartfelt poetic side I havent mastered yet....props

PEACE AND GODBLESS

ManMadeofAshes · 02-02-2005, 06:51 PM

thanks man... seems like people in the realm aren't to happy with me now. I don't know why else I don't get shit for feed anymore. Anyway, its nice that you always show the love.

much appreiciation UFO.

Brit Boi Gee · 02-02-2005, 08:18 PM

This was an interesting piece.It was bordering on an insane rage. Although it was quite gory in places, you put across being beyond fear well and it had some kind of warrior quality to it. stay up

absolute zero · 02-02-2005, 08:52 PM

I got the insane vibe too.....but it was great.......I loved the first few stanzas.....I thought the ending was a little bland, in the wording, but I'm just saying that in the sense that, the beginning seemed way abstract, and that's more my style.......

"I fucking dare you to eat me alive
this body only gets in my way
devour the glitter from my eyes
I can reclaim my sparkle any day

feed on my heart while its still beating
I'll turn it cold before it touches your lips
reach in me and take what you can
I will be a hole before you find your grip"

FIRE.

great job

God Bless

~Eloquent · 02-02-2005, 09:01 PM

i love this man,
people feeding on my struggles,and tryin to challenge me,
only gives me hidden energy and strength
they arent allowed to see that though,
until its due time..lol

anyways this was great...

ManMadeofAshes · 02-02-2005, 11:32 PM

word! Thanx a lot guys for the feed. I feel like everything I post gets slept on these days.

absolute, appreciate the feed and I agree. The ending is what I find least appealing. Just kind of struggled with the end. You learn in creative writing that you need to know when to end. Everytime I tried a new ending I felt like I was dragging things out just to maintain a rhythm. Maybe a peice worth coming back to later and reworking. word on the honesty man. Thats what I need. Thats what I love about people (when it exists)

I will hit all you guys up soon.

Mind~$oul · 02-04-2005, 02:55 AM

This piece was crazy man. Love reading pieces like this. It was like you were letting the world know that nobody can bring you down but yourself. You've been through it all. I can relate to that shit 100% I think it kinda started to slip away at the end but the read was mos def enjoyable. You havent disappionted me yet.

"I was born into a struggle
I need this pain to fight"

^Words couldnt be more truer

one luv

ManMadeofAshes · 02-04-2005, 02:05 PM

thanks a lot mindsoul, and Im stoked I can rely on you guys to confirm my own doubts. trust the audience because my own non biased perspective is just a myth.

much love

screamer · 02-04-2005, 07:03 PM

Nice way of sayin it... we poets love abuse and self mutulation... It's more raw material. Gives us something more to write about... And uh, with fire and sparkel. Yah.

I fucking dare you to eat me alive
this body only gets in my way
devour the glitter from my eyes
I can reclaim my sparkle any day

Hell yeah... I'ts like syain,, their rage is the fuel to my power.... let em scar me 'till I blister.

Pent up rage... the muzzle image was quite nice... bite em... go ahead.

I've slaughtered myself a hundred times
but its become impossible for me to look back
since I realized

this is the first day of my life
__________________
yup, this one has bite. Very emotional. Nice pictures for the brain...

Peace,

Screamer

RealMS · 02-04-2005, 08:07 PM

I don't think the ppl. here aren't happy with you lol, maybe not happy with ourselves for a minute, but I'm pullin through. Anyway, gotta put our collab on hold until I get myself back into that motivated mode, but I'm writing off and on. I'll email you sometime though.
A creative title I gotta say though, I like that. The language is perfect to me, the mood you displayed, I agree whole-heartedly to what you're saying. I can flip like a light switch when someone comes around trying to tell me what my future will be. Well, if its someone I don't know, which is dumb on my part but I'm driven by emotions, can you blame me lol?
I'd write/type more, but I'm late on things--I'll repay soon.
-Much Love

Madnick · 02-04-2005, 09:39 PM

This was a good piece I like the details and how descriptive it was. I like the title to and I was expecting something different but this was perfect. I have never seen this done beofre and you did a real nice job with it. Keep up the work.

01-31-2005, 03:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	Because People are Patterns Because People are Patterns (why I will be just fine) I fucking dare you to eat me alive this body only gets in my way devour the glitter from my eyes I can reclaim my sparkle any day feed on my heart while its still beating I'll turn it cold before it touches your lips reach in me and take what you can I will be a hole before you find your grip go on and take my blood because my life is art and art is life feed off me until your bloated this dissatisfaction makes me want to thrive I was born into a struggle I need this pain to fight I grew up wearing a muzzle now Im fucking pissed and ready to bite and I need someone to hate me I have forgotten how to hate myself I welcome each attempt to break me if its not you it will be someone else and I am ready I've never been more ready fucking kill me if you can I've slaughtered myself a hundred times but its become impossible for me to look back since I realized this is the first day of my life __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

01-31-2005, 03:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	ooopps.. I was going to do an intro. A 55 year old lesbian took me out to lunch today. I am friends with ... another lesbian who is just starting to get involved with this lady.. who is horribly wealthy. I told her my plans to go to San Fransico and major in film production. She said the city would eat me alive. I asked why and she said I am too open. So I explained that I spent 13 years of my life (being in a cult) being closed off. I told her I am sick of being that, and if I need to go back into that to survive than I will. Then I came home and wrote this..... __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

01-31-2005, 05:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	WHOA MAN!! u dont like being told what to do do huh? nah bro but for real this was some stuff i can relate to, about 3 yrs ago man i was hurt, betrayed by a bitch, fat as fcuk, failin my college, then this was the exact sensation i got that lead me to turn my life around. now i'm all i want to be, but obviously its in the nature of man to always progress... about the piece man, the anger you displayed was exactly what was needed here, its like the whole poem was slamming the "you cant break me" idea in your face, and after that last line, which was the plainest line but also the most effective, you turned this piece into something magicians do. I love your stuff man but i adored this one especially. __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

02-01-2005, 04:20 PM	#4 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	awsome feed as always akgrate. Much appreciation. I am about sharing the love. anyone else? __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

02-01-2005, 05:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	woooord up man you are open...lol....I read the intro to this and it brought it more to life for me....people are patterns....scary but true....seems like your past struggles have made you a stronger person....you sound like you can handle anything this world has left to through at you....its all the same....I like the concept of hating yourself...past regrets....evening killing yourself...all in your thoughts....been on those paths before....so now you welcome it....and now it wont have any effect on you.....reminds me of this poem called "FEAR" I heard on def poetry jam?.....she was no longer afraid of fear and instead invited/dared it to come in her life again.....this was like that....interesting piece...different from your recent stuff....flooded with emotion and a different heartfelt poetic side I havent mastered yet....props PEACE AND GODBLESS __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

02-02-2005, 06:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	thanks man... seems like people in the realm aren't to happy with me now. I don't know why else I don't get shit for feed anymore. Anyway, its nice that you always show the love. much appreiciation UFO. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

02-02-2005, 08:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
Brit Boi Gee manifest the zen Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Near To Athena Posts: 15,977	This was an interesting piece.It was bordering on an insane rage. Although it was quite gory in places, you put across being beyond fear well and it had some kind of warrior quality to it. stay up __________________ They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They aren't laughing now. -Bob Monkhouse Brit Boi has a highly calibrated wifermometer

02-02-2005, 09:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
~Eloquent Cold Logic Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: trapped where i cant leave,Florida Posts: 3,825	i love this man, people feeding on my struggles,and tryin to challenge me, only gives me hidden energy and strength they arent allowed to see that though, until its due time..lol anyways this was great...

02-02-2005, 11:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	word! Thanx a lot guys for the feed. I feel like everything I post gets slept on these days. absolute, appreciate the feed and I agree. The ending is what I find least appealing. Just kind of struggled with the end. You learn in creative writing that you need to know when to end. Everytime I tried a new ending I felt like I was dragging things out just to maintain a rhythm. Maybe a peice worth coming back to later and reworking. word on the honesty man. Thats what I need. Thats what I love about people (when it exists) I will hit all you guys up soon. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

02-04-2005, 02:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	This piece was crazy man. Love reading pieces like this. It was like you were letting the world know that nobody can bring you down but yourself. You've been through it all. I can relate to that shit 100% I think it kinda started to slip away at the end but the read was mos def enjoyable. You havent disappionted me yet. "I was born into a struggle I need this pain to fight" ^Words couldnt be more truer one luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

02-04-2005, 02:05 PM	#12 (permalink)
ManMadeofAshes *DREAMER Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: at home Posts: 635	thanks a lot mindsoul, and Im stoked I can rely on you guys to confirm my own doubts. trust the audience because my own non biased perspective is just a myth. much love __________________ http://www.myspace.com/manmadeofashes

02-04-2005, 07:03 PM	#13 (permalink)
screamer Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 182	Nice way of sayin it... we poets love abuse and self mutulation... It's more raw material. Gives us something more to write about... And uh, with fire and sparkel. Yah. I fucking dare you to eat me alive this body only gets in my way devour the glitter from my eyes I can reclaim my sparkle any day Hell yeah... I'ts like syain,, their rage is the fuel to my power.... let em scar me 'till I blister. Pent up rage... the muzzle image was quite nice... bite em... go ahead. I've slaughtered myself a hundred times but its become impossible for me to look back since I realized this is the first day of my life __________________ yup, this one has bite. Very emotional. Nice pictures for the brain... Peace, Screamer Last edited by screamer; 02-04-2005 at 07:05 PM.

02-04-2005, 08:07 PM	#14 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,228	I don't think the ppl. here aren't happy with you lol, maybe not happy with ourselves for a minute, but I'm pullin through. Anyway, gotta put our collab on hold until I get myself back into that motivated mode, but I'm writing off and on. I'll email you sometime though. A creative title I gotta say though, I like that. The language is perfect to me, the mood you displayed, I agree whole-heartedly to what you're saying. I can flip like a light switch when someone comes around trying to tell me what my future will be. Well, if its someone I don't know, which is dumb on my part but I'm driven by emotions, can you blame me lol? I'd write/type more, but I'm late on things--I'll repay soon. -Much Love

02-04-2005, 09:39 PM	#15 (permalink)
Madnick Modern Laureate Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oregon State Posts: 1,111	This was a good piece I like the details and how descriptive it was. I like the title to and I was expecting something different but this was perfect. I have never seen this done beofre and you did a real nice job with it. Keep up the work.

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