Patiently Waiting

This is a discussion on Patiently Waiting within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Patiently Waiting as the Hourglass steadily empties Looked up to The Road Ahead showed me my true Soul mate .... ...


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Old 01-20-2005, 09:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Patiently Waiting
Patiently Waiting
as the Hourglass steadily empties

Looked up to
The Road Ahead
showed me my true Soul mate
....
Till my Reflection starred back at me

Recalling Yesterday
and my Slayed Spirits
I hope Tomorrow
.....
Damn, I'm Back to Day Before Yesterday

Flushed out letters
but the love I Drowned

Solitude's only companion
A Handful of cigarettes
and
a Heartful of regrets
"Some wounds are too deep for time to heal"
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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ManMadeofAshes takes it up the butt!
OOooo

perhaps this can only be expressed by an addict... but based on your circumstances I have to say.. the cigarette line hit home. Im trying to quit. Been 10 days actually so I am doing pretty good and the cravings have stopped .. anyway.. trailing off...

the cigarette line hits me because... I too find comfort in cigarettes. Ive quit smoking several times and I always fall back to it in my deepest moments of depression... Its like... i dont even know. its always there for me and never expects anything in return?

feelings ^ are hard to put into words.

does the change between white and blue text hold significance?.. I noticed drown is in blue, but beyond that I cant figure it out....

"Patiently Waiting
as the Hourglass steadily empties

Looked up to
The Road Ahead
showed me my true Soul mate
....
Till my Reflection starred back at me"

I like this because I have often wondered if what I am looking for a woman is myself. Its a sad, scary, and selfish thought, but the more a person resembles me the more attracted I become. It also plays off my idea of ada'meve.. though yours is more oriented towards.. "there is someone out there that is perfect for you" Vs. there is someone out there that is you. ie. adameve = adam and eve --> eve came from adam (his rib) = eve is a part of adam. okay.. anyway.. and this means is... I like the poem man.

ashes
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Old 01-20-2005, 10:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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TrueEmcee takes it up the butt!
good stuff.
"patiently waiting,
as the hourglass steadily empties>"
woww haha thats hot, nice emotion, nice imagery, just sick
the idea of ya soulmate bein you, a replica of you.. dammmn, nice
like it, and the cigarette line
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Old 01-21-2005, 10:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
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UFO the Phoenix takes it up the butt!
wooooord up

this was cool....short and sweet....said alot in such few words....I love the hour glass line....the reflecting soul....the battle with time....the deep wounds covered with cigarettes and other raw emotions....this was crazy....I like the set up as well....very being so short it seemed really long because of the pauses...and the lil breaks you had....like jumping through days and back again....the loooooong road ahead...."back to the day before yesterday"?!?!?!?!?!....thats some abstract stuff right there....love this....keep yo head up man those hard times will surely pass you by....and your heart will mend again

PEACE AND GODBLESS
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Old 01-21-2005, 04:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
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ManMadeOfAshes... I read that Ada'meve poem you wrote... it was amazing...thx for your reply... means a lot to me... really

thx trueemce... I'mma check out your poetry soon

and UFO... alwyas showing hte love ... thx man

I know noone wants to hear this but I am gonna say it anyways ... this poem I Was gonna write for a chick that I'm feelin rite now ... but when I Was thinkin of how to desribe the perfect chick... a picture of my ex came back to me... and how we were so alike.. and al that shit

so basically this is me right after hte breakup
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Old 01-21-2005, 10:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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man howcome people sleep on other ppll's shit so mcuh
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Old 01-22-2005, 01:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
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^If I had the answer I'd share it^ but I don't know, people come and go (me being one lately), many read, and that's a good thing, but seldomly reply. Anyhow,

Okay I read what you wrote about writing this to a girl but changing your mind, but this is what I thought before that:
The title explains it all, it takes the very ending of the poem right back to the top. It's like all of the lines shaded in blue is what happened and all, but within it is your goal to look towards the future rather the past, and the white lines make out a relapse, going back in time thinking about what just happened, like damn man, can't help it. I get it too, and I can't stand it, it only brings my spirits down, but it drives me to write. Some of the things I mostly love of my mine comes from those experiences.
I'm interested to read your stuff, I don't know if its because you're new in the realm (not really new but) and you stay consistent here as well. Its like a chronicle (sp?, sheesh lol) of every poet's thoughts.

Anyway, I don't know if there is such a thing as a person who is the same as you, but opposite as well. I don't mean seeming the same as when you first meet and its been a few weeks, then the person changes. You can see what you have that is identical, but wherever your weakness is, the person has strength in that area, vice versa. I know that's not what you guys are talking about lol, but that's just a thought of mine.
-Much Love
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Old 01-22-2005, 07:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
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very dope man,


Solitude's only companion
A Handful of cigarettes
and
a Heartful of regrets
"Some wounds are too deep for time to heal"

and we all have poured our heart out in love letters,only to become so emotionally drained,when she dont return your appreciation and affection...

peace
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Old 01-23-2005, 12:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Bobby D takes it up the butt!
"Simply poetic," indeed. Perhaps not the most original subject matter, but, instead, a feeling to which we can all relate... keep writing... you'll find the words. Be Strong and Stay Strong, man.

Seeping Tourniquet

Return.......
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Last edited by Bobby D; 01-23-2005 at 12:32 AM.
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Old 01-23-2005, 01:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Madnick takes it up the butt!
This was nice it wasnt to cluttered with un-nessceriary words. You had a nice description and the tone of the piece was real good. I feel you did a nice job with the emotion it wasnt to how do you say it sappy. It was well persued and nicely detailed. Great job Paste.
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Old 01-23-2005, 01:45 AM   #11 (permalink)
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POETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfugPOETIC SOCIETY. has gas like a muhfug
Solitude's only companion
A Handful of cigarettes
and
a Heartful of regrets
"Some wounds are too deep for time to heal"

couldn't have said that stanza better. i've been trying to quit for awhile now but i always find myself going back everytime. solid piece
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Old 01-23-2005, 01:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
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RealMS - you're the best .. always givving indepth critcism and sharing your personal experiences... means a lot to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madnick
I feel you did a nice job with the emotion it wasnt to how do you say it sappy
thanks that was exactly what I was going for..

and everyone else thx for your replies
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Old 01-23-2005, 02:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
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This is the first piece Ive read since I registered (Im new). It surely was very creative and it carried an insightful message. Nice poem!
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Old 01-24-2005, 01:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
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akqrate takes it up the butt!
Ahh man this was a great piece to say the least.

Looked up to
The Road Ahead
showed me my true Soul mate
....
Till my Reflection starred back at me
^^Yeah that really hit me man, when you wonder about the future and try to predict a perfect person for yourself, and get optimistic about it, and then realise that the only person that might ever fill that void is yourself, so you feel lonely and empty at the same time as well.

Flushed out letters
but the love I Drowned
Yeah man I dont know I got the jist that you were reading all the love letters from your ex and after realising the pain you drown your love with alcohol... or maybe it was just that you cried out all the memories...

Solitude's only companion
A Handful of cigarettes
and
a Heartful of regrets
Once again the true feeling of being lonely you tend to blame the break up all on yourself and try to find and correct faults within yourself, i really felt this.

"Some wounds are too deep for time to heal"
This is quoted maybe with a purpose of really driving the nail home. Straight to the point, you speak nothing but the truth, and that's all thats required.
I really loved this man, thanks for showing some love on my threads too bro, never goes unnoticed.
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Old 01-24-2005, 04:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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alright I am gonna up this one last time... its not realyl fiar for some other poems.. so whoever replies ... thanks in advance and if you want me to peep your piece.. PM me
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Old 01-24-2005, 06:32 PM   #16 (permalink)
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THE TAURUS takes it up the butt!
Good Stuff
This was a good peace
"Patiently Waiting"

It looks like your cigarette line was a winner up on here.
And I have to agree with everyone that was a dope line.
I am a person who writes about love alot so I can really relate.
Patients: I have a hard time dealing with that. Cause I don't know how to have patients. But what was funny is when I thought I didn't have it, it came out of nowhere and brought me my soulmate.
Keep them coming.
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Old 01-26-2005, 03:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I felt this piece a lot man. Especially the cigarette line. I always seem to find refuge in alcohol whenever i'm going through shit. Annd that's been like every damn day man. Seems like something I would certainly write. Uppin for you


one luv
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