This One

Luther · 01-20-2005, 08:58 PM

I'm probably too emotional to write right now. I'll probably say something wrong. But I am what I am...

Yes
I am angry
And I don't even know why
God
I wish I wasn't.
I think
This too shall pass
This feeling
This murky water
New pond ripple effect
Future shock check
Break neck shivers
Delivers humility
God's telling me
There is beauty in growing old
I'm so sorry for the way I am
Meds take hold and calm my mind
The committee in my brain
Takes a recess
I'm sure they'll be back tomorrow
And I'm sure that too will pass

There's a person
I'm certain she hates me
I'm certain she can't say anything nice
I love her
But I don't need that wrath
Save me!
I love her
And that's not wrong
I don't see a thing that I can do
To make it all okay
I'm trying to fix myself
I'm trying to watch my health
Let's hope it's not a planned failure
I hold her picture near the light
To see her smile
But pictures don't talk
Neither do we
I have myself to blame
I forgive myself slowly
This too shall pass
But I don't want to say goodbye
To this person that I don't know
I love her
But I see now that's not enough
In order to be what she wants
I have to lose the things that she loves
Can't have it both ways I'm afraid
Can't I be a happy medium?
I don't know
There's no fighting with destiny
There's no replacement for trust
I've only begun
Take my words and stab yourself if you must
That was never my intention
But we both know how intentions go
They are seldom if ever appreciated
But I thank you from the bottom of my heart
That's True
I'm just haunted by painful memories
Struggling with the much needed changes in my life
This doesn't happen over night
And I still feel manipulated and violated
I still feel hated
I still feel like a greyhound
Chasing a dream that never intended to be caught
I sought what I desired
I fell into a fire
Now I'm tending to wounds that are taking too long to heal
If you don't understand how I feel by now
I guess you never will
I'm sorry, but I love you

MC_Paste · 01-20-2005, 09:28 PM

this was all cool ... I mean I can clearly see your juss ventin al lyour feelings off and its fun trying to figure out what hte problem is ... all ventin poems I've seen haev a similar pattern

The emotions first
then the story

which is amazing cuz it builds the usspense and I am glad this is hte natural way

anyways these two lines lost me

"In order to be what she wants
I have to lose the things that she loves"

I cant figure it out .. .and its kinda buggin me dunno why

"I hold her picture near the light
To see her smile
But pictures don't talk
Neither do we
I have myself to blame"

that is my motivation... I'll do ANYTHING just not to have regrets..

SAMARA · 01-21-2005, 02:10 AM

well.... after 10 years of loving someone... let go is the most honest reply.

Its hard.... it took me awhile... I regret losing those years of my life- not him.

In the end, that is all you truly have because reality is:

he was gone long before I let go.

UFO the Phoenix · 01-21-2005, 10:23 AM

wooooord up

this was flooded with emotion....very deep and open....good way to vent....did sound like one of those keystyles that had to be written....nice to get it all out....well I can relate with this piece no doubt you are not alone when it comes to this struggle of love...my favorite part was the smiling pics and how they dont talk...then you said neither do we...that was felt....so much truth revealed in your words....the flow seemed scatter but your rhymes were nice....so that balanced it for me...."this person"....gonna take more then just your love to gain her interest....impossible at times....the feeling of chasing that uncatchable dream.....destiny all in her hands...damn man I can feel you on this on so many levels....just real....and str8 to the point nothing hidden....keep yo head up and stick around....be sure to peep others

PEACE AND GODBLESS

Luther · 01-21-2005, 03:12 PM

I appreciate the feedback ya'll, I'll hit up some of ya'lls stuff. Thanks. Samara I think you're so very correct.

Mind~$oul · 01-23-2005, 02:07 AM

Yes this was a very emotional vent man. Just jumping around from feeling to feeling. I could tell you were focused more on trying to get this off of your chest than anything else.

"God's telling me
There is beauty in growing old"

^Dope line.

One luv

RealMS · 01-23-2005, 12:57 PM

I like the repetition of "this too shall pass"-you're reading the poem and seeing what it's all about, the reader gets drilled into the emotion you're going through, and reminded of the thought, or possibly partially the gist: its going to be alright. While staying on topic you also manage to pull other things in, such as the line about the committee taking a recess, the worries going away, but the drama will return. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not prepared for all of that, going through enough to know what to expect, but when it does come, I always react the same way and after a while here comes the "being strong" process again. It's like a constant cycle. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, even when it seems it's done and over; it's kind of human to feel that way. But-you can't allow that to stress you so much. It's time to free yourself from the burden of heartache, learn something of yourself you never saw before.
-Much Love

01-20-2005, 08:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Luther Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 249	This One I'm probably too emotional to write right now. I'll probably say something wrong. But I am what I am... Yes I am angry And I don't even know why God I wish I wasn't. I think This too shall pass This feeling This murky water New pond ripple effect Future shock check Break neck shivers Delivers humility God's telling me There is beauty in growing old I'm so sorry for the way I am Meds take hold and calm my mind The committee in my brain Takes a recess I'm sure they'll be back tomorrow And I'm sure that too will pass There's a person I'm certain she hates me I'm certain she can't say anything nice I love her But I don't need that wrath Save me! I love her And that's not wrong I don't see a thing that I can do To make it all okay I'm trying to fix myself I'm trying to watch my health Let's hope it's not a planned failure I hold her picture near the light To see her smile But pictures don't talk Neither do we I have myself to blame I forgive myself slowly This too shall pass But I don't want to say goodbye To this person that I don't know I love her But I see now that's not enough In order to be what she wants I have to lose the things that she loves Can't have it both ways I'm afraid Can't I be a happy medium? I don't know There's no fighting with destiny There's no replacement for trust I've only begun Take my words and stab yourself if you must That was never my intention But we both know how intentions go They are seldom if ever appreciated But I thank you from the bottom of my heart That's True I'm just haunted by painful memories Struggling with the much needed changes in my life This doesn't happen over night And I still feel manipulated and violated I still feel hated I still feel like a greyhound Chasing a dream that never intended to be caught I sought what I desired I fell into a fire Now I'm tending to wounds that are taking too long to heal If you don't understand how I feel by now I guess you never will I'm sorry, but I love you __________________ Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark

01-21-2005, 02:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
SAMARA myspace.com/ameliatricia Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,071	well.... after 10 years of loving someone... let go is the most honest reply. Its hard.... it took me awhile... I regret losing those years of my life- not him. In the end, that is all you truly have because reality is: he was gone long before I let go. __________________ "… to the man who is actually in the arena... his place will never be with those timid cold souls who know neither victory nor defeat." Climbing out of the hole and leaving the whispers behind. idiom I realized the high road is idealistic and we are lowly creatures, everyone. The only difference is some are able to walk and not crawl, nor squirm on their belly. You decide.

01-21-2005, 10:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	wooooord up this was flooded with emotion....very deep and open....good way to vent....did sound like one of those keystyles that had to be written....nice to get it all out....well I can relate with this piece no doubt you are not alone when it comes to this struggle of love...my favorite part was the smiling pics and how they dont talk...then you said neither do we...that was felt....so much truth revealed in your words....the flow seemed scatter but your rhymes were nice....so that balanced it for me...."this person"....gonna take more then just your love to gain her interest....impossible at times....the feeling of chasing that uncatchable dream.....destiny all in her hands...damn man I can feel you on this on so many levels....just real....and str8 to the point nothing hidden....keep yo head up and stick around....be sure to peep others PEACE AND GODBLESS __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

01-21-2005, 03:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
Luther Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 249	I appreciate the feedback ya'll, I'll hit up some of ya'lls stuff. Thanks. Samara I think you're so very correct. __________________ Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark

01-23-2005, 02:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Yes this was a very emotional vent man. Just jumping around from feeling to feeling. I could tell you were focused more on trying to get this off of your chest than anything else. "God's telling me There is beauty in growing old" ^Dope line. One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

01-20-2005, 09:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
MC_Paste • Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,577	this was all cool ... I mean I can clearly see your juss ventin al lyour feelings off and its fun trying to figure out what hte problem is ... all ventin poems I've seen haev a similar pattern The emotions first then the story which is amazing cuz it builds the usspense and I am glad this is hte natural way anyways these two lines lost me "In order to be what she wants I have to lose the things that she loves" I cant figure it out .. .and its kinda buggin me dunno why "I hold her picture near the light To see her smile But pictures don't talk Neither do we I have myself to blame" that is my motivation... I'll do ANYTHING just not to have regrets..

01-23-2005, 12:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,230	I like the repetition of "this too shall pass"-you're reading the poem and seeing what it's all about, the reader gets drilled into the emotion you're going through, and reminded of the thought, or possibly partially the gist: its going to be alright. While staying on topic you also manage to pull other things in, such as the line about the committee taking a recess, the worries going away, but the drama will return. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not prepared for all of that, going through enough to know what to expect, but when it does come, I always react the same way and after a while here comes the "being strong" process again. It's like a constant cycle. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, even when it seems it's done and over; it's kind of human to feel that way. But-you can't allow that to stress you so much. It's time to free yourself from the burden of heartache, learn something of yourself you never saw before. -Much Love

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