Misery Loves Company

This is a discussion on Misery Loves Company within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; It's just words On a screen They're just words But they mean So much more To people I don't even ...


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Old 01-14-2005, 08:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Bobby D takes it up the butt!
Misery Loves Company
It's just words
On a screen
They're just words
But they mean
So much more
To people
I don't even know
They mean so much
To people
As they go
On about their lives
Feeling
Blue
Insecure
Unloved
Unwanted
Unwelcome
Miserable
They feel
Alone
They feel
Severed from the world
Their umbilical cord
Was cut
And they choke
And gasp
Reaching
For that first breath
As I blow in their face
My words of
Disgrace
My thoughts of
Same feelings
My mind
Sends them realing
And they open their eyes
And inhale that sweet air
As they realize
They are not all alone
In there
They breathe
And take breath
Take my hand
And walk this long road
To death


- Bobby D -
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Old 01-14-2005, 09:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
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For the Cause takes it up the butt!
i really was feelin the structure actually i just wrote somethin similar with your structure.
nah this was tight though,
emotions definitely capture millions of people differently.
one
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Old 01-15-2005, 12:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!RealMS will do you doggie style!
Their umbilical cord
Was cut
And they choke
And gasp
Reaching
For that first breath
As I blow in their face
I like how you switched up what you were saying after this part.
I know this got nothing to do with it but I'm reading this book and it came to a part where this woman just went into labor and she ended up having twins, and her last child-son- was coming out feet first, and his ambilical (sp? lol) cord was wrapped around his neck so the doctor was going to let it die, but she went in a rage and took her baby and blew into his face and he lived. Anyway, you just sort of laid it all out in the end, the truth basically.
-Much Love
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Old 01-15-2005, 07:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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PoeticGeenyus takes it up the butt!
What did you mean by the ending, who was holding onto who, and why?
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Last edited by PoeticGeenyus; 01-15-2005 at 07:04 PM.
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Old 01-15-2005, 07:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Don't you just love it when you typew up a response hit back space by accident and POOF. Anyways, I liked the piece; The sense of urgency to get to the end and the cascading of words gave it a pace. The beggining seemed to be reaching out to people and making an effort to connect with them even when it is so easy to turn a blind eye. I liked the cycle of the poem, it seemed to be evolving and death was becoming life and vice versa. It seemed like two opposite strands of the same entity. Also like RealMS, I liked the idea of blowing on ones face, like a heavenly zephr perhaps or a wind in the sail of the soul, very good.

Stay up, Bobby D
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Old 01-15-2005, 07:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
This way up.
 
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To people
As they go
On about their lives
Feeling
Blue
Insecure
Unloved
Unwanted
Unwelcome
Miserable
They feel
Alone

^loving that, feeling like that right now, so good job dunny.
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Old 01-15-2005, 11:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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UFO the Phoenix takes it up the butt!
wooooord up!!!

this poem was hot....and I know a few cats can relate with this...I do....those times when we feel alone...but then were not as alone as we think....love your ending....the whole living life until we die...you take common thoughts and spice them up very well with flawless flow and dramtic technigue its crazy....the structure was different...I read it out loud and the flow I got from it was amazing...the first half read slow...many pauses and the end seemed to scream/climax and read faster...great stuff....the title fits it perfectly...my favorite part was the twist/metaphor with the umbilical cord...made it bigger then it was and make the reader feel more connected to the world or something deeper....and then when its cut bringing in life need to find new ways to connect back to the world....the whole concept was like being born again...the cycle of life...the blowing of your breath/WORD...like God on Adam and like Jesus on his disciples...the spreading of the Holy Spirit...take BREATH...and walk this looooong road to death...the path to all our futures...


rep level for this one Bobby

PEACE AND GODBLESS
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Old 01-18-2005, 03:44 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Everybody as said what I wanted to say. Nicely written piece man.


One luv
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Old 02-19-2006, 07:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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BobbyDIzATheif takes it up the butt!
Quote:
Originally Posted by UFO the Phoenix
wooooord up!!!

this poem was hot....and I know a few cats can relate with this...I do....those times when we feel alone...but then were not as alone as we think....love your ending....the whole living life until we die...you take common thoughts and ••••e them up very well with flawless flow and dramtic technigue its crazy....the structure was different...I read it out loud and the flow I got from it was amazing...the first half read slow...many pauses and the end seemed to scream/climax and read faster...great stuff....the title fits it perfectly...my favorite part was the twist/metaphor with the umbilical cord...made it bigger then it was and make the reader feel more connected to the world or something deeper....and then when its cut bringing in life need to find new ways to connect back to the world....the whole concept was like being born again...the cycle of life...the blowing of your breath/WORD...like God on Adam and like Jesus on his disciples...the spreading of the Holy Spirit...take BREATH...and walk this looooong road to death...the path to all our futures...


rep level for this one Bobby

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are you free basing?
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Old 02-19-2006, 07:28 PM   #10 (permalink)
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^Don't up any more post by Bobby D man. Find something else better to do
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