Screaming Silence

This is a discussion on Screaming Silence within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Though it lasts a few moments, I get lost in your presence. How can your emptiness be so gorgeous? Your ...


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Old 10-24-2004, 09:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Screaming Silence


Though it lasts a few moments,
I get lost in your presence.
How can your emptiness be so gorgeous?

Your beauty is trapped within bruises and scabs.
You still smile, with your empty soul. Ashes fade
as the madness plagues.

Chained to insanity, but you still remain to be
captivated by love?

Alone in a box, full of sharp
razors, and the lonliest thoughts.


I'm falling for you, like the clouds on a
rainy day. I'm addicted, in more ways
than one.

Time is meaningless, until you have someone
to waste it with. Thoughts of your faded lips
upon mine, a jaded kiss. Blades to wrists....
Atheists with world portraits painted with
shades of bliss.

Your voice
is so
silent.
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Last edited by Quotive; 10-24-2004 at 09:15 PM.
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Old 10-24-2004, 09:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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hmmmmthe multies are something i dont usually see from you, (yea right)...

piece was straight....

lot of dope ass lines in it...

"Alone in a box, full of sharp
razors, and the lonliest thoughts."

wow

"Time is meaningless, until you have someone
to waste it with."

so true,....so true....

keep it up

God Bless
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Old 10-24-2004, 10:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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applause" -" chained to insanity but you still remain to be capitvated by love?"
i like the placement of" ALONE IN A BOX, full of sharp razors, and the loniest of thoughts" (which is a brilliant line by the way ) and th e" your voice is so silent" great job^
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Old 10-24-2004, 11:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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nice job here man..i like the concept

You still smile, with your empty soul

...really liked that line..funny where beauty can lie...

Time is meaningless, until you have someone
to waste it with

..cute...lol...made me smile..i guess its kinda true 2

Blades to wrists....
Atheists with world portraits painted with
shades of bliss.

really liked that but i would have liked to see a different twist after the athiest line

still nice though

UPin for ya
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Old 10-25-2004, 12:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks ya'll.

The Atheist line couldn't have continued lol, I know what you're saying though.

Smile Empty Soul is a band, btw.

Thanks for the love.
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Ive Been Hiphop Since I Was 6.
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quotive is one of those colts fan who sports a jim harbaugh riddell jersey
Quote:
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lmao @ you not knowin Chris Brown was a blood
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Old 10-25-2004, 01:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
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yea man this is nice, I like the short pieces by you... got a nice perspective on this love shit too... always coming from different angles with the shit and that's so refreshing, the multies were tight too... I can't quote just one lines... seriously the whol epiece was crazy


Stay Up, Much Love, peace
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Old 10-26-2004, 11:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I enjoyed reading your work because of how diverse you are. Liked the approach you came with on this piece. Made it real easy for the reader to read. Had a nice vibe and everything. i think this would make a dope spoken word joint.

one luv
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Old 10-26-2004, 11:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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^ Thanks homie.
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Quote:
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Ive Been Hiphop Since I Was 6.
Quote:
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quotive is one of those colts fan who sports a jim harbaugh riddell jersey
Quote:
Originally Posted by (( Ozone ))
lmao @ you not knowin Chris Brown was a blood
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Old 10-27-2004, 04:13 AM   #9 (permalink)
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UFO the Phoenix takes it up the butt!
I read this the other day but didnt have time to respone

so yea here I am

I liked this piece

the line about jaded kisses caught me off guard

and the whole screaming silent thing has been buggin me ever since I read this...

interesting

PEACE AND GODBLESS
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Old 10-27-2004, 08:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This poem killed me, it was so beautiful. It's one of those poems that you can relate to and i definetly liked so much, so please pretty write more of this please!
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Old 10-28-2004, 02:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
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great work my friend,


I love the way this read, I can't really put my finger on it,, but it was good

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Old 10-28-2004, 08:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Sun_Flower takes it up the butt!
Very different and a true poet at thought brace, I'm pleased to have read this piece, such emotions flow through and within each line, sentence, right to the end I felt like I was apart of this piece flourishing its birth to sound through my breath of anticipation.
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Old 11-01-2004, 09:32 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I realized I had missed a few of your pieces and I appologize, because I know you always take the time to read mine. I really enjoy it when you use this format, probably my favorite of all the ones that you use. This poem gives you a feel of what happens when fictional insanity and clinical insanity meets. Only love could bring about this whirlpool of instability and irational thoughts, and I realize some of it may be metaphorical, but I just can't help but take this at face value. I really dug the stanza about being alone in a box, I think more people could relate to that part of the poem than anything. Good read man and I appologize it took me so long to reply.
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