On The Inside

b3LLig3r3nT · 10-03-2004, 09:48 PM

k, quotive got me to post another lol.. so yeah, here it is..

Lost inside my head
I'm losing my mind again
I can feel myself crawling in my own skin
You only see what I let you,
so how do you know just how I feel?
Yeah, that's right you don't.
I don't even think you try
I'm alone
I'm standing outside of you looking in,
you're so beautiful
Too bad I don't let you see into me.

I don't see it but you see,
some sort of beauty
that's a shame because my beauty has rusted
I've become something I never imagined
Something ugly and morbid
Somebody save me,
I can no longer save myself

Quotive · 10-03-2004, 09:56 PM

Even though this isn't true...

Its good. You're pretty Whitney : ) This poem was great.. one of my favorites from you. Stick around, this place rocks lol

: )

UFO the Phoenix · 10-04-2004, 02:24 AM

word....not bad

first time checking you out and I was feeling this

str8 and to the point...interesting piece I could relate to

"You only see what I let you,
so how do you know just how I feel?"

nice

who did you write this about?...sounds like your talking to someone directly

cool poem keep em coming...I wanna see what else you got

and dont forget to respone to other poets

PEACE AND GODBLESS

Mind~$oul · 10-04-2004, 04:51 PM

Pretty decent poem. Like how you come straight foward with your writings, one of the things I always look for first when reading a poem. Uppin for you

One luv

unspoken1 · 10-04-2004, 07:55 PM

yea this is a pretty good poem....nicely done here...i like the second stanza the most

Xero Satsujin · 10-04-2004, 08:16 PM

Ok, seeing quotive recomended you, I figured that you gotta be kickin somethin nice. And it seems you are...this is, like stated previously, a morbid piece. It sorta reminds me of a linkin park song, but only sooo much. Alright shit though...welcome to the realm, stay a while...

10-03-2004, 09:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
b3LLig3r3nT b3LLig3r3nT Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Indiana Posts: 49	On The Inside k, quotive got me to post another lol.. so yeah, here it is.. Lost inside my head I'm losing my mind again I can feel myself crawling in my own skin You only see what I let you, so how do you know just how I feel? Yeah, that's right you don't. I don't even think you try I'm alone I'm standing outside of you looking in, you're so beautiful Too bad I don't let you see into me. I don't see it but you see, some sort of beauty that's a shame because my beauty has rusted I've become something I never imagined Something ugly and morbid Somebody save me, I can no longer save myself __________________ walking 0n br0ken glass..

10-04-2004, 02:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	word....not bad first time checking you out and I was feeling this str8 and to the point...interesting piece I could relate to "You only see what I let you, so how do you know just how I feel?" nice who did you write this about?...sounds like your talking to someone directly cool poem keep em coming...I wanna see what else you got and dont forget to respone to other poets PEACE AND GODBLESS __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan Last edited by UFO; 10-04-2004 at 02:29 AM.

10-04-2004, 04:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Pretty decent poem. Like how you come straight foward with your writings, one of the things I always look for first when reading a poem. Uppin for you One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

10-04-2004, 07:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: beyond the depths of pain Posts: 758	yea this is a pretty good poem....nicely done here...i like the second stanza the most __________________ Overlooked noise.......stay tuned in

10-04-2004, 08:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Sinking into the paper, like I was ink Posts: 2,197	Ok, seeing quotive recomended you, I figured that you gotta be kickin somethin nice. And it seems you are...this is, like stated previously, a morbid piece. It sorta reminds me of a linkin park song, but only sooo much. Alright shit though...welcome to the realm, stay a while... __________________ !.¸(`!.¸Xero Satsujin¸.!`)¸.! "Laissez les bon temps rouler" "Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler..."

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