When I'm Next To You

This is a discussion on When I'm Next To You within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Steps to extacy, I see your gorgeous lips, and get tangled up, and lost. Your beautiful words spoke light upon ...


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Old 10-03-2004, 11:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
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When I'm Next To You
Steps to extacy, I see your gorgeous
lips, and get tangled up, and lost.
Your beautiful words spoke light upon
my darkness. The sky closed in
as your body embraced mine.
Grazing your chest, I saw elaborate
burning flowers become florescent.
With you, I'm confined to an
image of broken smiles, and hopeless glances.
Internal scars fade when I see your
elegant pain. Its difficult to believe
that I survived your death.
I witness a hopeless soul reflecting
back when I stare into your alluring
eyes. The razor blades make it fade,
the dangling smoke, makes it strangle, and choke,
the tip of the needle, is sinful and evil...
but...
I'd rather be in tears of blood, when I'm next to you.
In your fears of love, as I witness life with a perplexive view.
I'd rather be in your arms when
I cry with the stars. When I die...
I die when... I'm next to you.
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Last edited by Quotive; 10-03-2004 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 10-03-2004, 12:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Sole Sovereign takes it up the butt!
Definately one of the most vividly written pieces i've seen from you. I love the line about crying with the stars, and the self awareness of a perplexive view. The razor blades make it fade was probably the line that stuck with me the most. A cocaine romance is what this reminds me of. Thanks for the read man.
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Old 10-03-2004, 04:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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very beautifully written...i'm not sure but the girl left you right...there were a lot of images dealing with death and her and then an image with drugs...lol i really don't know anything about this girl except for your emotions about her and your desires...*stare* o_o
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Old 10-03-2004, 05:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Drugs? Cocaine? lmao damn y'all.

Its just about a girl, and how she makes me feel when I'm in her presence. Thanks for the feedback y'all.. gld I had you guys minds goin' =)

C y'all.
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Quote:
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Ive Been Hiphop Since I Was 6.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the Prince
quotive is one of those colts fan who sports a jim harbaugh riddell jersey
Quote:
Originally Posted by (( Ozone ))
lmao @ you not knowin Chris Brown was a blood
Last edited by Quotive; 10-03-2004 at 05:10 PM.
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Old 10-03-2004, 06:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Sole Sovereign takes it up the butt!
I meant the feelings involved with the piece remind me of a romance centered around coke.
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...Fate is death. A leap of faith over sunset's sunrise...
...Hate is everpresent, some let love die...
...even if you laced loosely, some get tongue tied...
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Old 10-03-2004, 06:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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^^^yea the first thought i got when i read this is that it was about a drug addiction, and when you said it was about a girl...i guess i could see the metaphor put in there, but oh well...it was very nicely written, meaning i could get a clear view on every word you said...

you're one of the standouts here since i've arrived....and i look forward to your new stuff all the time

stay up

God Bless
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Old 10-04-2004, 05:02 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Reminds me of the last piece I just did. It did in some parts seem like you were talking about drug addiction. I knew you wasnt though. Liked the way you put this together, you're always changing your structure.

"the tip of the needle, is sinful and evil..."

^my favorite line. Nicely written piece


one luv
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