An owl's glide

DaJackle · 10-02-2004, 09:16 PM

an owl glides over a town
his pearcing eyes are blue ice
glaring around, only to find a man down
neighbor's not caring, and Death bids him well
with a full moon, when the reaper is to be crown,
man is blind and satan blared his laugh

drunk was the theme for the evening
alcohol streams past the orchards and mossed green halls
in sync with verbose chatters and laughters
a rythem that was common even during the day

the glacial pierced moon
turned to rose red
poison consumed
soon infuse with their screaming organs

but the owl stand poised
glaring
from on top of the town's square

Death didn't work that evening, but simply watch
as the jolly chatters switched feet
and danced
to the harmony of shouts and punches
to broken furnitures and windows

the snow covered ground were now sharp-tipped
an ice-cream
dipped with splurging human blood

the owl floats
as dead blood cells led hunger tamed wolves
through the woven tapastry of dried, rigid branches

Desire instilled tempations
into the petty heart
of the dying corpse
and blind-folded their conciousness
as the symphony comes to a sea of silent songs

the owl
solemnly takes flight.

Quotive · 10-02-2004, 09:36 PM

"an owl glides over a town
his pearcing eyes are blue ice
glaring around, only to find a man down
neighbor's not caring, and Death bids him well
with a full moon, when the reaper is to be crown,
man is blind and satan blared his laugh"

Really feelin' the openin' part. Like the perspective of this piece coming from the owl's eyes. Was there any signifigance in Death being capitalized?

"an ice-cream
dipped with splurging human blood"

I found this to be quite morbid. Just.. ugh.. its not bad, but theres something about it that made me shiver. Reminds me of that one ice-cream movie, where dude put eyeballs and shyt in his icecream.. creepy ass shyt.

This whole piece reminded me of winter.. and woods. It has a very, old fashioned type of feel. Very different from everything else on the board..

Nice drop..

DaJackle · 10-02-2004, 09:53 PM

Death was capitlized for personification...good look qou...i try to bring something different everytime i post...be safe..peace

RealMS · 10-02-2004, 10:49 PM

-I remember one night I asked my dad if he ever saw an owl up close and personal and I was ready for him to laugh and say no, but he said one night when him and his partners at work were closing the garage door they spotted an owl at the top corner of the garage so they opened the garage door to let it out but it just remained there until the next night, and flew out. He said it sounded like a thousand birds all at once.

Anyway this poem reminds me of a Stephen King type of movie lol. I don't know, forgot the name, but you remember that movie he made, the setting was winter time, the snow n all, raining, power goin out-it was about this guy who was dead, but taking over other souls in this small town. lol, don't mind me but the feeling of this poem made my spine tense up. Just like a movie, and in the end, how you say the owl takes flight, makes it even more weird lol. Makes me think about the winter time, bein scared of night when its so quiet like when I was little, so I run inside lol. True
-Much Love

BrokenSoul8604 · 10-02-2004, 11:13 PM

i liked this piece...great imagery....the whole piece painted a vivid picture for me....

ummm....i know that this seems like a short reply, but thats all i can say....stay up and keep that hot ish comin

God Bless

DaJackle · 10-02-2004, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealMS

-I remember one night I asked my dad if he ever saw an owl up close and personal and I was ready for him to laugh and say no, but he said one night when him and his partners at work were closing the garage door they spotted an owl at the top corner of the garage so they opened the garage door to let it out but it just remained there until the next night, and flew out. He said it sounded like a thousand birds all at once.

Anyway this poem reminds me of a Stephen King type of movie lol. I don't know, forgot the name, but you remember that movie he made, the setting was winter time, the snow n all, raining, power goin out-it was about this guy who was dead, but taking over other souls in this small town. lol, don't mind me but the feeling of this poem made my spine tense up. Just like a movie, and in the end, how you say the owl takes flight, makes it even more weird lol. Makes me think about the winter time, bein scared of night when its so quiet like when I was little, so I run inside lol. True
-Much Love

RealMS: umm...was it dream catcher? i never thought of it being a movie before...or that it was emitting fear...but that's cool though...you brought another angle to my poem which i could have missed upon...good look

broken: it's all good man, as long as yo enjoyed the read ^_^ thanks for the support..pz

~Eloquent · 10-02-2004, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaJackle

an owl glides over a town
his pearcing eyes are blue ice
glaring around, only to find a man down
neighbor's not caring, and Death bids him well
with a full moon, when the reaper is to be crown,
man is blind and satan blared his laugh

drunk was the theme for the evening
alcohol streams past the orchards and mossed green halls
in sync with verbose chatters and laughters
a rythem that was common even during the day

the glacial pierced moon
turned to rose red
poison consumed
soon infuse with their screaming organs

but the owl stand poised
glaring
from on top of the town's square

Death didn't work that evening, but simply watch
as the jolly chatters switched feet
and danced
to the harmony of shouts and punches
to broken furnitures and windows

the snow covered ground were now sharp-tipped
an ice-cream
dipped with splurging human blood

the owl floats
as dead blood cells led hunger tamed wolves
through the woven tapastry of dried, rigid branches

Desire instilled tempations
into the petty heart
of the dying corpse
and blind-folded their conciousness
as the symphony comes to a sea of silent songs

the owl
solemnly takes flight.

"the glacial pierced moon
turned to rose red
poison consumed
soon infuse with their screaming organs"

"Desire instilled tempations
into the petty heart
of the dying corpse
and blind-folded their conciousness
as the symphony comes to a sea of silent songs"

this was ill...i really enjoyed reading this,,very cleverly worded,dope shit..

UFO the Phoenix · 10-03-2004, 12:30 AM

whhhhhhat????

this was very nice for real....it felt like a lil short story read in a rocking chair next to a fireplace on a cold winter night...lol...man this was just tight

I LOVE the concept and where you took this piece...you stayed on point the whole way though which is VERY important....man this just inspired me to finish my next poem I was uncertain about....

very dark and mysterious....nothing felt forced it all just flowed in its own way....

I cant even quote my favorite line because the whole piece was just really nice

I can tell you put some thought into this and it shows

all my doubts of your work are gone now

PEACE AND GODBLESS

PS: (got my attention for the poetry storybook...mini series...good luck)

DaJackle · 10-03-2004, 01:21 AM

lol you had doubts? haha thats cool...thanks for the support...^_^

Sole Sovereign · 10-03-2004, 11:03 AM

lol, never doubting when it comes to your work man. Was definately digging the imagery on this one. I love horror and darkness, but this offered a twist on all of it, because to me Owl's are beautiful. I work construction for a living, and once I worked with this old indian lady.. she was cherokee, a different tribe from mine but still full blooded just like me. She taught me how to call an owl, it's really weird. Anyways, good lookin god.

Mind~$oul · 10-04-2004, 04:34 AM

Imagery was strong in this piece. Concept was nice man, always good reading something out of the norm in the realm. Poem kinda reminded me of a R.L. Stine book though lol.

One luv

allnakey · 10-05-2004, 12:15 AM

My grandma use to tell me an owl is a key symbol to death, she use to tell me old indian tails of , if an owl came to you window or door at night and started to hoot and what not it meant death to some one close of you or the belief of bad news... tragically bad. That's what this kind of reminded me old tails my grandma use to tell me. I loved the imagery and the words you used to described the images of the piece, really nice man

Stay Up, Much Love, peace

10-02-2004, 09:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 493	An owl's glide an owl glides over a town his pearcing eyes are blue ice glaring around, only to find a man down neighbor's not caring, and Death bids him well with a full moon, when the reaper is to be crown, man is blind and satan blared his laugh drunk was the theme for the evening alcohol streams past the orchards and mossed green halls in sync with verbose chatters and laughters a rythem that was common even during the day the glacial pierced moon turned to rose red poison consumed soon infuse with their screaming organs but the owl stand poised glaring from on top of the town's square Death didn't work that evening, but simply watch as the jolly chatters switched feet and danced to the harmony of shouts and punches to broken furnitures and windows the snow covered ground were now sharp-tipped an ice-cream dipped with splurging human blood the owl floats as dead blood cells led hunger tamed wolves through the woven tapastry of dried, rigid branches Desire instilled tempations into the petty heart of the dying corpse and blind-folded their conciousness as the symphony comes to a sea of silent songs the owl solemnly takes flight. __________________ You can only do so much in life, at some point you just have to let go and let God decide...what is the meaning of life? it's very simple...to simply live

10-02-2004, 09:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 493	Death was capitlized for personification...good look qou...i try to bring something different everytime i post...be safe..peace __________________ You can only do so much in life, at some point you just have to let go and let God decide...what is the meaning of life? it's very simple...to simply live

10-02-2004, 11:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
BrokenSoul8604 Apparently Emotionless Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: DMI~ Posts: 705	i liked this piece...great imagery....the whole piece painted a vivid picture for me.... ummm....i know that this seems like a short reply, but thats all i can say....stay up and keep that hot ish comin God Bless __________________ A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.

10-03-2004, 12:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	whhhhhhat???? this was very nice for real....it felt like a lil short story read in a rocking chair next to a fireplace on a cold winter night...lol...man this was just tight I LOVE the concept and where you took this piece...you stayed on point the whole way though which is VERY important....man this just inspired me to finish my next poem I was uncertain about.... very dark and mysterious....nothing felt forced it all just flowed in its own way.... I cant even quote my favorite line because the whole piece was just really nice I can tell you put some thought into this and it shows all my doubts of your work are gone now PEACE AND GODBLESS PS: (got my attention for the poetry storybook...mini series...good luck) __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

10-03-2004, 01:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 493	lol you had doubts? haha thats cool...thanks for the support...^_^ __________________ You can only do so much in life, at some point you just have to let go and let God decide...what is the meaning of life? it's very simple...to simply live

10-02-2004, 10:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,228	-I remember one night I asked my dad if he ever saw an owl up close and personal and I was ready for him to laugh and say no, but he said one night when him and his partners at work were closing the garage door they spotted an owl at the top corner of the garage so they opened the garage door to let it out but it just remained there until the next night, and flew out. He said it sounded like a thousand birds all at once. Anyway this poem reminds me of a Stephen King type of movie lol. I don't know, forgot the name, but you remember that movie he made, the setting was winter time, the snow n all, raining, power goin out-it was about this guy who was dead, but taking over other souls in this small town. lol, don't mind me but the feeling of this poem made my spine tense up. Just like a movie, and in the end, how you say the owl takes flight, makes it even more weird lol. Makes me think about the winter time, bein scared of night when its so quiet like when I was little, so I run inside lol. True -Much Love

10-03-2004, 11:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
Sole Sovereign Hungry But Never Starving Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 2,927	lol, never doubting when it comes to your work man. Was definately digging the imagery on this one. I love horror and darkness, but this offered a twist on all of it, because to me Owl's are beautiful. I work construction for a living, and once I worked with this old indian lady.. she was cherokee, a different tribe from mine but still full blooded just like me. She taught me how to call an owl, it's really weird. Anyways, good lookin god. __________________ ...Take a step: one step, one dive... ...Fate is death. A leap of faith over sunset's sunrise... ...Hate is everpresent, some let love die... ...even if you laced loosely, some get tongue tied... elo§overeign ˜W™

10-04-2004, 04:34 AM	#11 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Imagery was strong in this piece. Concept was nice man, always good reading something out of the norm in the realm. Poem kinda reminded me of a R.L. Stine book though lol. One luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

10-05-2004, 12:15 AM	#12 (permalink)
allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,860	My grandma use to tell me an owl is a key symbol to death, she use to tell me old indian tails of , if an owl came to you window or door at night and started to hoot and what not it meant death to some one close of you or the belief of bad news... tragically bad. That's what this kind of reminded me old tails my grandma use to tell me. I loved the imagery and the words you used to described the images of the piece, really nice man Stay Up, Much Love, peace __________________ And I sat watching a flower As it was withering I was embarrassed by its honesty So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place get some balls biatch or else

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode