Hollow Skies.

This is a discussion on Hollow Skies. within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; Hollow skies with a tinted past Tangle souls with their wretched strings Many destinys crossing paths Overlooking their gracious wings ...


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Old 10-02-2004, 04:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
Kaybi
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Hollow Skies.
Hollow skies with a tinted past
Tangle souls with their wretched strings
Many destinys crossing paths
Overlooking their gracious wings
Single sun giving light to all
Why can't everyone be like you
Floating blind through the empty halls
Embracing their common truth
Seeking hope in an empty glass
Destroying what I create
Begging moments that couldn't last
To forget my bizzare mistakes
Should have tried to wrong all my rights
Here and there leaving parts of me
Is it all cause I left my life
Or because my life simply follows me....

Story of my life....
 
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Old 10-02-2004, 04:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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BrokenSoul8604 takes it up the butt!
i liked the whole thing....short and sweet....

p.s- do you know that you are goin against me in poet tree right now? you havent signed in and posts are due sunday night....lol...juss makin sure you knew...ummm...

Good post, keep it up

God Bless
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Old 10-02-2004, 06:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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UFO the Phoenix takes it up the butt!
word this was nice...you got some skills man for real?

short and right to the point...diggin it

"Destroying what I create
Begging moments that couldn't last
To forget my bizzare mistakes"

nice

keep it up yo!!!

PEACE AND GODBLESS
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Old 10-02-2004, 06:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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unspoken1 takes it up the butt!
this was aright...something about it just wasnt feeling though
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Old 10-02-2004, 07:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Love the poem, love the line "Seeking hope in an empty glass", havent seen you in here!

~One Luv
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Old 10-02-2004, 08:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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DaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All StarDaJackle is an RM All Star
indeed...short and sweet...the rhyme scheme of it makes the piece have a musical tone...which made it catchy...the ending was dope...one luv...peace
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Old 10-02-2004, 08:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Full of quotables..

"Hollow skies with a tinted past
Tangle souls with their wretched strings"

I'm diggin' this man. Lovin' the abstract poetry in the Realm as of late. Shit gives me ideas. These lines remind me of something I wrote earlier..

"Why can't everyone be like you"

Damn, I like this girl right now.. and I've been thinking that. I wish there were more people like her.. dope ass line..

The whole poem reminded me of "Pieces Of Me" by Ashlee Simpson, was it perhaps inspired by that?

Anyways, ill drop. Keep it up.
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Old 10-02-2004, 08:57 PM   #8 (permalink)
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MURDERGHOST takes it up the butt!
Nice work... your use of words is great...

I like that "Bizzare mistakes"... i never seen those two words combined togather...


The whole piece is Wonderful...



Take care ese!..
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Old 10-02-2004, 10:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Just like that other one you let me read the other night ago, the ending to this poem keeps me wondering on and on and on for some reason-its a good thing lol;

it feeds my thoughts and wakes up my mind
Starves my worries while suppressing the unkind
Leave me in the dark room, to find myself in a black and white photograph
A time I thought my spirit had died, but I just witnessed my birth, from the past.

-Whatever lol, somethin I just made up. I don't really know what it means, you make its definition out of it for me lol. I'm really diggin your pieces you been puttin out lately.
-Much Love
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