In Battle

This is a discussion on In Battle within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; What.., is it about the rage, and the distance we shout? Gone from society, gone in the wind... Why is ...


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Old 09-18-2004, 12:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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In Battle
What..,
is it about
the rage, and
the distance we shout?

Gone from society,
gone in the wind...
Why is
Satanism
and
Atheism
confused as
one?

How about YOU
document this,
and cherish it
for worthless
eternities.

Attorneys, lawyers,
court rooms,
abuse, no one
to support you.

Fuck you if you
dissagree with my
thoughts.

Why don't you
love me, like you
loved lust?

Belt buckles, and
swelled knuckles
cause someone
to yell "fuck you!"

Enslaved, and tortured.
Wires, and fires
inspire higher
liars to desire
admiration,

Broken hearted,
and heart broken.
No hope, regaurdless
to if you start smokin'.

A form of language
established
by
morbid anguish.

I drift and die
within the
senseless lies.
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Old 09-18-2004, 03:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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BrokenSoul8604 takes it up the butt!
i liked the flow of it... i dunno why but it just seemed like the poetic version of "why?"

anyways~keep it up

god bless
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Old 09-18-2004, 02:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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tooshort21 takes it up the butt!
Why is
Satanism
and
Atheism
confused as
one?

my point exactly, good shit right there

Attorneys, lawyers,
court rooms,
abuse, no one
to support you.

I know how that shit goes believe me... ill i have my balls and my word!! nah what I mean

good shit man, ill hit you up in a week or so if you wanna still do the collab... peace
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Old 09-19-2004, 01:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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serioustempa takes it up the butt!
This piece was strong could have been longer wanted more, but I guess thats the writers touch, but it was good. The ending filled the whole piece I conquer the broken heart. Good read!
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Old 09-19-2004, 12:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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How about YOU
document this,
and cherish it
for worthless
eternities.
Right here is what I was waitin for, sayin how about you stop judgin me for what I believe in, and stop sayin I'm wrong b/c truth is you don't know for yourself what I'm tryna say here. The next part I was really feelin-guess you could say I agree with that. Your bluntness is what makes this poem (and mostly all your others also) so powerful.
-Much Love
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Old 09-20-2004, 03:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Could sense the anger within this piece man.

"Gone from society,
gone in the wind...
Why is
Satanism
and
Atheism
confused as
one?"

Feeling those line there man. That's truth for you, no doubt.


One luv
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Old 09-20-2004, 09:25 AM   #7 (permalink)
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very powerful use of short lines, had me wanting more but the content was great

A form of language
established
by
morbid anguish.

i liked that a lot
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Old 09-20-2004, 12:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
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ChyllTyrant takes it up the butt!
i thought this was great but could have really gone somewhere a little extra with some more battle imagery.

otherwise, very good work.

PEACE
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Old 09-20-2004, 02:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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its a battle with self, and others

heh.. thanks for the feedback.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nokas View Post
Ive Been Hiphop Since I Was 6.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the Prince
quotive is one of those colts fan who sports a jim harbaugh riddell jersey
Quote:
Originally Posted by (( Ozone ))
lmao @ you not knowin Chris Brown was a blood
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Old 09-20-2004, 03:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quotive
its a battle with self, and others

heh.. thanks for the feedback.
yeah i've written many pieces about that...didnt go about it quit like this though...this was nice..i like the quick pace of the poem

Why don't you
love me, like you
loved lust?


...nice lines there

UPin for ya
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