Winter Rondezvous

niniane17 · 09-14-2004, 03:52 PM

I used to search for his light in the shadow of our moon, he waited like a dove, showing an olive branch and seeing mine in return, a sign of peace and calm in a chaotic world of hatred. So I slid out of the window as quiet as the cool wind that blew in, and glancing inside one last time i left my guilt on the sill, and a trail of glowing anticipation in the milky snow. My father with all his animosity, he could never understand us, he wouldn't comprehend of it all. My love for my precious diamond burned like the flames of the sun, and the love he proved he had shone like a candle in an empty, lightless void. But my father's hatred for that endearment held the intensity of a blinding storm. So afraid that my disobedience would be found, i pondered the day when my ghostly restraints would break away, and yet the excitement of being caught made me love him more still. so with an intimate farewell I wafted in just as I left, lying in my bed like a gentle breeze, thankful for the snow covering my rebeliousness, and wondering how I made it through yet another rondezvous

RealMS · 09-14-2004, 06:33 PM

So I slid out of the window as quiet as the cool wind that blew in, and glancing inside one last time i left my guilt on the sill,
It's as if you let that^"wind" just drift you to where you wanted to be, but didn't know exactly what that place consisted of. Like you're doing all these things just so he'd open his eyes and discipline a little, but he doesn't even do that much at all, lost in his own world so you do the same as well. IDK, that's what I took from it. Nice work, and welcome here.
-Much Love

niniane17 · 09-15-2004, 04:46 PM

thanks for the input, welcoming critizism,

Mind~$oul · 09-16-2004, 01:13 AM

Piece was decent. I really dont like reading pieces when everything is bunched up together. But I kinda like the way you put this one together. Still think it would have been better if you would have broke the lines down in parts. Welcome to the realm

one luv

Cockmaster700 · 09-20-2004, 12:33 AM

On streets ill trash, spill and splash like pig slop
Wigs pop with big glocks robberies jig rig for pot
Hit hard at legit bars by thug fists don’t love this
A scrub missed because I ducked his uppercut he’s pissed
A true thug will run through mud just to prove a point

6ftground · 09-20-2004, 02:55 AM

I loved the raw structure...
becuse I lack structure in my writings...
but I like this piece it reminded me when me and my best friend would sneak around at a young age doing things we were not suppose to be doing... This piece is a throwback to my memories... nice drop

niniane17 · 09-22-2004, 07:11 PM

thanx for the input--- appreciated.

god bless and much luv

09-14-2004, 03:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
niniane17 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 93	Winter Rondezvous I used to search for his light in the shadow of our moon, he waited like a dove, showing an olive branch and seeing mine in return, a sign of peace and calm in a chaotic world of hatred. So I slid out of the window as quiet as the cool wind that blew in, and glancing inside one last time i left my guilt on the sill, and a trail of glowing anticipation in the milky snow. My father with all his animosity, he could never understand us, he wouldn't comprehend of it all. My love for my precious diamond burned like the flames of the sun, and the love he proved he had shone like a candle in an empty, lightless void. But my father's hatred for that endearment held the intensity of a blinding storm. So afraid that my disobedience would be found, i pondered the day when my ghostly restraints would break away, and yet the excitement of being caught made me love him more still. so with an intimate farewell I wafted in just as I left, lying in my bed like a gentle breeze, thankful for the snow covering my rebeliousness, and wondering how I made it through yet another rondezvous __________________ Niniane Memory hither come, And tune your merry notes; And while upon the wind, Your music floats, I'll pore upon the stream, Where sighing lovers dream, And fish for fancies as they pass Within the watery glass....... ----William Blake

09-15-2004, 04:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
niniane17 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 93	thanks for the input, welcoming critizism, __________________ Niniane Memory hither come, And tune your merry notes; And while upon the wind, Your music floats, I'll pore upon the stream, Where sighing lovers dream, And fish for fancies as they pass Within the watery glass....... ----William Blake

09-16-2004, 01:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
Mind~$oul I'm Pretty Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: North Memphis BITCH! Posts: 17,145	Piece was decent. I really dont like reading pieces when everything is bunched up together. But I kinda like the way you put this one together. Still think it would have been better if you would have broke the lines down in parts. Welcome to the realm one luv __________________ "Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney "I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden

09-20-2004, 02:55 AM	#6 (permalink)
6ftground MC-KHP Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: 3 story house by the mountains Posts: 1,758	I loved the raw structure... becuse I lack structure in my writings... but I like this piece it reminded me when me and my best friend would sneak around at a young age doing things we were not suppose to be doing... This piece is a throwback to my memories... nice drop __________________ DaMiddleFinger

09-22-2004, 07:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
niniane17 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 93	thanx for the input--- appreciated. god bless and much luv __________________ Niniane Memory hither come, And tune your merry notes; And while upon the wind, Your music floats, I'll pore upon the stream, Where sighing lovers dream, And fish for fancies as they pass Within the watery glass....... ----William Blake

09-14-2004, 06:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,228	So I slid out of the window as quiet as the cool wind that blew in, and glancing inside one last time i left my guilt on the sill, It's as if you let that^"wind" just drift you to where you wanted to be, but didn't know exactly what that place consisted of. Like you're doing all these things just so he'd open his eyes and discipline a little, but he doesn't even do that much at all, lost in his own world so you do the same as well. IDK, that's what I took from it. Nice work, and welcome here. -Much Love

09-20-2004, 12:33 AM	#5 (permalink)
Cockmaster700 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2,048	On streets ill trash, spill and splash like pig slop Wigs pop with big glocks robberies jig rig for pot Hit hard at legit bars by thug fists don’t love this A scrub missed because I ducked his uppercut he’s pissed A true thug will run through mud just to prove a point

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