Clogged Artery

This is a discussion on Clogged Artery within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; whether from sleep, to awakened dreaming, the sting of all which is tangible still remains. to succumb is futile, as ...


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Old 07-17-2004, 09:43 AM   #1 (permalink)
state of mind
 
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SirVEER takes it up the butt!SirVEER takes it up the butt!SirVEER takes it up the butt!
Clogged Artery


whether from sleep, to awakened dreaming,
the sting of all which is tangible still remains.
to succumb is futile, as a man,
i was raised to mask.


a lost notion
life is an open wound
...forgotten warmth
a youthful smile
this inner hope once grew

picture perfect sanity
public's perception
over egg shells
...feeling
without touching affection

mantras i read
to strengthen resolve
engage in critique
...re-wording my veil
pretension is old

seven decades
this goal is adhered to
a strangle hold
...cold gripping
me, to fold and give in too

joy an intermission
superseded
to the pit of my navel
...resonates
lost, to this life and bleeding

...and so, tomorrow bekons




poets critiqued:
~woefully bestowed
~goodbye
~honour negro
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Old 07-17-2004, 02:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!BirthOfTragedy will do you doggie style!
very short yet very powerful. I liked this peice, keep up the good work
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Old 07-17-2004, 07:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!
Yes every stanza seems to have possesed it's own personal character and gave this piece a more powerful meaning. was really feeling that little bit yuo started the piece off with. Nice little piece you got here


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get some balls biatch or else
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Old 07-18-2004, 01:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
I'm Pretty
 
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Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
This was a damn good piece. Really like your style. The intro set the whole poem off well.

one luv
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Old 07-18-2004, 05:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!Quotive will do you doggie style!
I was diggin' it. I think it'd be a dope spoken word piece.

"picture perfect sanity
public's perception
over egg shells
...feeling
without touching affection"

Liked that^ Cool man, keep it up... I'd like to read more from you.
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