Last Post.

[Clarksvegas_Dan]

I really shouldn't write when I don't feel good, It always backfires.
So I think I'll use someone elses words.

On one hand I count the reasons I could stay with you
and hold you close to me all night long
So many lovers games I'd love to play with you
On that hand there's no reason why it's wrong
But on the other hand
there's a golden band
to remind me of someone who would not understand
On one hand I could stay and be your loving man
But the reason I must go
is on the other hand

In your arms I feel the passions
I thought had died
when I looked into your eyes
I found myself
when I first kissed your lips
I felt so alive
I've got to hand it to you girl
you're something else
But on the other hand there's a golden band
to remind me of someone who would not understand
On one hand I could stay
and be your loving man
But the reason I must go
is on the other hand

But that's not all I feel...

I've heard those city singers
sing about how they can love
deeper than the ocean
higher than the stars above
Well I come from the country
and I know I ai'nt seen it all
But I heard that oceans salty
and the stars they sometimes fall
and that would not do justice
to the way I feel for you
so I had to sing a song
about all the things I knew

My love is deeper than the holler
stronger than the river
higher than the pine trees growin tall upon the hill
My love is purer than the snowflakes
that fall in late december
and honest as a robin on a springtime window sill
and longer than the song of a wipporwill(sp)

there's more..

You may think that I'm talkin foolish
you've heard that I'm wild and I'm free
you may wonder how I can promise you now
this love that I feel for you
always will be
you're not just time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of those guys
as sure as I live
this love that I give
is gonna be yours until the day that I die

Oh baby,
I'm gonna love you forever
forever and ever amen
as long as old men sit and talk about the weather
as long as old women sit and talk about old men
if you wonder how long I'll be faithful
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever and ever
forever and ever amen

They say time takes it's toll on the body
makes a young girls brown hair turn grey
well honey I don't care
I ai'nt in love with your hair
and if it all fell out
I'd love you anyway

They say time can play tricks on a memory
make people forget things they knew
well it's easy to see
it's happening to me
I've already forgotten every woman but you

Well...I could go on and on with lyrics from the songs that helped to form my concept of love. But it's pointless. You want me gone and that's why we are at this point. I'm sorry. I am hurt. Again.
And I'm sure I'll take it out on the next person who trys to love me.
It's a cycle I can't seem to break. I'm sorry.
I took what ? gave me out on you, all the while knowing that I didn't want to.
I can't get out of this town fast enough. Every time I love, or am loved, which is rarely simultaneous, It gets sabotaged. Damn my luck. It's all transient and I am the fool.
I know there were people on my end working against Us. But I tried not to let it get to me. I guess it did anyway.
Tell me that you never meant to hurt me and that you'll always be glad that you met me. That might help.
What I wrote earlier, was not soberly created. So it's not really what I think, or at least it's not what I have to think. The truth is that I just don't understand how anyone could love me. Maybe because no one ever has.
Regardless of where we go from here, I'd like to see you one more time just to talk in person. Then you can leave me with all of my fears.
I've shed more than just a few tears, just for the record.
And I want you to know, that my bitterness isn't towards you, honestly, it's about all the others.
Every relationship I've ever had was ruined. That's all I'm bitter about.
Tell Adam I'm sorry.
I never thought I was wasting my time, but if you say that I was then I was.
I have to stop writing now or I'll say more of the wrong things.
Please understand that I don't want it to be over.
See me one more time, I guess when you get back?
If not, I guess I'll be fucked up again.
I was taught that apologies were healthy in relationships. So that's why I say I'm sorry.