Off the top (coffee induced, I think) :)

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Old 06-28-2004, 09:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Zeta takes it up the butt!
Off the top (coffee induced, I think) :)
Replied to
How are you feeling
In my dream
Beautiful nobody


I must be egotistic, because
My name seems to haunt me everywhere I go
"Mary Ann" Ties my hands
So don't tell anyone you know this about me...
I'm so insecure,
I look at myself and see nothing worth looking upon
When you holla my name or whistle just the same
I think to myself "he must be insane"
Then again I must have a complex
I talk to much about myfuckingself
I'm not fishing either
I'm venting to get better
Because you could love me once
Then turn around and wonder "why did I sweat her?"
I don't know what to live for beyond love
So I'm searching for reasons
As to why he matters so
And all I can really decipher
Is he loves my mom
And I can be just like her
But really
I'm kinda simple and I can act a fool
Underneath it all
Before roles are assigned
I'm more like him than anyone
It's fun to think about the things he's done
Aside from everybody
We stand original...
In senses of humor
Though we share some sorrow
I guess we realize that there's left up to us,
Chances of a better tomorrow
Because
My life my heart my soul
My experience
Left my with enough wisdom to allow my fellow man hear this
Though I am vunerable now
I'm breaking out of my shell


Worst case scenerio...
Early death can never take away my life until my final breath
So I must grab each moment with earnest
And hope for the best

LOL, a little melodramatic, but there you go it's off top too
Peace and madd love
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Old 06-28-2004, 09:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Xero Satsujin takes it up the butt!
this reminds me of that Kanye West song sorta...but that doesn't take away from it...And it's cool that it's off the top...All of my pieces are like that...I never, PLAN on writing something, it just happens...good shit...
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Old 06-28-2004, 10:35 PM   #3 (permalink)
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tooshort21 takes it up the butt!
So don't tell anyone you know this about me...
I'm so insecure,


the way you went about suggesting this right here to the reader, very good writing right here.....

wow ma, this was really good i would of quoted more but then i would of quoted the whole damn poem......... very impressive, i like how u can be that effective in your writing, grabs the reader...

rep once again for this
fo sure

you got mad talent.
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Old 06-29-2004, 06:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
Liked the approach you came with. It did kind of in just a little bitty way remind me of that kanye west song lol. keep it up

one luv
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Old 06-30-2004, 03:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mind~$oul
Liked the approach you came with. It did kind of in just a little bitty way remind me of that kanye west song lol. keep it up

one luv

lol...i agree..the concept was nice..and i think the reason it reminds everyone of the kanye song is b/c of the first couple of lines..

I don't know what to live for beyond love
So I'm searching for reasons
As to why he matters so

...nice line....kind of confusing to me though

do u not love him? or are u in denial

very nice piece

UPin
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Old 07-03-2004, 01:42 PM   #6 (permalink)
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tooshort21 takes it up the butt!
this piece deserves more replies, uppin for ya ma....
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Old 07-04-2004, 07:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
This way up.
 
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I like the concept off of this, the imagery was nice, a real crystal picture was portrayed


I'm venting to get better
Because you could love me once
Then turn around and wonder "why did I sweat her?"

^ i like this, this was smooth an it seemed like you was spitting your soul

Nice job ma
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