for my mum

This is a discussion on for my mum within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; repost.......but i needed to She belonged to you But you never belonged to her… Those words fell from your lips ...


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Old 06-15-2003, 08:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
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for my mum
repost.......but i needed to

She belonged to you
But you never belonged to her…

Those words fell from your lips and lingered long enough for her to catch them...
But the joke was on you because she let them slip through her fingers this time.
She tried holding her head high but that made it easier for you to trip her...
So she started holding her pen instead.

You made her the way she is.
She looks pretty when she smiles, but she stopped smiling because she wanted to be like you.
You used to smile, she can see still see the scars from it around your eyes.
You pumped life into her holy veins, then sang hymns of praise to the one that got away.
But she was the one who was there for you, not him.
She was too young for you to teach her what you already knew.
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Last edited by Feme Sole; 06-15-2003 at 08:22 AM.
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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wow, that was great...i wish i could say more, but my brain wont let me heh...ill get back to this after i get some sleep...
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Alyssa takes it up the butt!
very, very... pretty, cant think of a good word.

ive always liked non-rhyming poems the best.
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:50 AM   #4 (permalink)
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vinous takes it up the butt!
wow, i like this, really really good
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Old 06-15-2003, 09:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I LOVE THIS!

full of emotion.....very discriptive...i felt like you were talking to me or something......

She belonged to you
But you never belonged to her…

i'm REALly feeling that...reminds me of this line i put in a poem i just wrote.....

you never wanted to be my father
but i always wanted to be your son......


not along the same lines..but your line just reminded me of that.....

enjoying the read like always....truely a beautiful piece
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Old 06-15-2003, 03:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
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mumblez takes it up the butt!
nice poem...i like it...

full of emotion.....very discriptive...i felt like you were talking to me or something......
-lpoet

said it all
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Old 06-16-2003, 12:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!Mind~$oul will do you doggie style!
yo this was very emotional feme sole. Heartfelt mos def

one luv
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
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mocha_licious takes it up the butt!
mos def a heartfelt piece....thank u for posting it....u are so talented ....~one love~
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Old 06-19-2003, 04:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mocha_licious
mos def a heartfelt piece....thank u for posting it....u are so talented ....~one love~
^^^
took the words out of my mouth
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Old 06-19-2003, 08:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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"You used to smile, she can see still see the scars from it around your eyes"

I didn't see that the first time with this piece............. the reference to scars....from smiling..interesting..love it girl cya
 
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Old 06-19-2003, 08:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mind~$oul
yo this was very emotional feme sole. Heartfelt mos def

one luv
^^Yeah what he said...Your writings have this....I dunno...this genuine feel to them...I'ma keep my eyes open and I'll be able to tell you better after I read a couple more.
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Old 06-20-2003, 01:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
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this is very nice girlie..can't really find words for it......nice.
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Old 06-20-2003, 05:32 AM   #13 (permalink)
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TuNed RooT takes it up the butt!
"She belonged to you
But you never belonged to her…"

"She was too young for you to teach her what you already knew."

Type of lines that sends shivers down an individuals back, like the type of guy like me. I felt like this piece was straight forward, full of descriptive emotion, coming right from your heart and there was, ofcourse something that drived you to write this. Probably something that happened with your mother earlier or just thinking about the past with your mother. An amazing piece, no doubt. My blessings.
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Old 06-20-2003, 05:37 AM   #14 (permalink)
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this was niiiiice... i'm liking this


favorite prt: You pumped life into her holy veins, then sang hymns of praise to the one that got away.
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Old 06-20-2003, 09:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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varentao takes it up the butt!
This was qaint..

...in an emotional, well constructed way.

..it had a simplicity to it along with a certain bluntness. Though i felt maybe the bluntness was at times used to not so good effect. overall, it was nice.

..resp..
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Old 08-03-2003, 01:17 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Judge tha Dacyple takes it up the butt!
Damn my dear, You are just blessing my eyes tonight! There isn't much that Ipoet and Mind-$oul didnt already say. So I will leave it at this, I simply am in love with your style of writing.
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Old 08-03-2003, 01:53 AM   #17 (permalink)
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that was the best poem I've seen in a long time.. and thats a pretty big statement ..that was ill
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Old 08-03-2003, 02:43 AM   #18 (permalink)
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49th Prophet takes it up the butt!
Feme Sole again I am in awe of your poetic ability to express such emotion that the reader has no choice but to feel it.....VERY nice
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