If I Was Time...

This is a discussion on If I Was Time... within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; If I was time I'd be in digital format, Wiping my feet at the moons doormat... I would've extended 3 ...


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Old 06-14-2003, 09:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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If I Was Time...
If I was time
I'd be in digital format,
Wiping my feet at the moons doormat...
I would've extended
3 minutes in the earth's rotation
Before that...
If I was time...
I'd be the hour
You spend standing in line
To ride the Medusa at 6 Flags
One more time...
If I was time,
You'd never have enough of me,
And you'd always try to be ahead of me...
I'd change my name to Rolex
And tick steadily...
Constantly...
Infinitely...
I'd set you back an hour of your life
Once every year,
And make you lose sleep as well...
If I was time,
Would you be able to tell
Even in light or dark spells
If I was a sundial
In Alaska?
Or would you just let me run
Right past you?
If I was time...
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Old 06-15-2003, 03:24 AM   #2 (permalink)
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this was really creative, flowed well. The last three lines where nice, made u sit back and think for sec. Good shit

one luv
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
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this piece was very unique... and very interesting to read.
I liked the ending the most, because it leaves you wanting more.
 
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!Feme Sole will do you doggie style!
man you always have really good topics

like boon said, this was creative.......you took something and ran with it so to speak.......i like how this was done.......

peace and blessings


*we should collab
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Atmosphera takes it up the butt!
There Really Is Something About Your Poerty That Keeps Me Replying To Yours.

I'm Not Sure If Its The Creativity Or The Complex Views You See Things But What I Do Know Is That Its Of None Other Than Your Own.

Beautiful Script So Soul Reviewing Thought Provoking

Love It
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Old 06-15-2003, 09:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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man..your work makes me laugh...not b/c its not good or funny..but b/c u creative...i'm really feelin your style...

up up up
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Old 06-15-2003, 07:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feme Sole


*we should collab
Let's do it then.
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:32 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augee.ali
Let's do it then.

aim=poetique princess

msn=slumbeautiful3001@hotmail.com
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Look at you unbelievably brilliant beautiful you
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feme Sole
aim=poetique princess

msn=slumbeautiful3001@hotmail.com
hey..what's your email...having tech. difficulties trying to get AIM here at work.
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Old 06-15-2003, 09:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
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slumbeautiful3001@hotmail.com


sorry to clog your thread man
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Malo: let me put my middle finger in your monthly blood and paint a smile on your face


love
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Look at you unbelievably brilliant beautiful you
you're looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
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Old 06-15-2003, 09:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feme Sole
slumbeautiful3001@hotmail.com


sorry to clog your thread man
It's all good...check your email in a few minutes give or take.
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Old 06-18-2003, 12:11 AM   #12 (permalink)
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mocha_licious takes it up the butt!
i love out of the box pieces and this was one of them...made u think twice about Time relating to us as human beings as l iving and breathing...very classy and original...

~one~
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Old 06-19-2003, 05:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
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nice..but a smile on my face...one of those things that just make you got hmmmm and give it a thought for a moment. very creative. i like.
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Old 06-19-2003, 09:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
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varentao takes it up the butt!
Heh.

Brilliant...

..resp...
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Old 06-20-2003, 05:29 AM   #15 (permalink)
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TuNed RooT takes it up the butt!
Flow is always there, as well as a meaning that you always come creative and new with. Different from anyone else here in the Realm with a fundamental feeling towards your Poetic approach. I love your work, because it all makes you think and it's all an original idea. It's not always about heartbreak, yet creating a meaning revolving around a clock. Nice piece, kid. My blessings..
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Old 06-20-2003, 05:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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thanx for showin a brotha luv yall.
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