take a scalpal to my heart

This is a discussion on take a scalpal to my heart within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; my blunted sword speaks too often while time doth pass away though chains are newly broken still memories refuse to ...


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Old 06-14-2003, 08:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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vinous takes it up the butt!
take a scalpal to my heart
my blunted sword speaks too often
while time doth pass away
though chains are newly broken
still memories refuse to frey

such ghostly thoughts lament
to haunt my fragile mind
still the minute hand is spent
while history rewinds

see my new love i have christened
though my old will still remain
take a scalpal to my heart
you'll find them printed in my veins

and though both are forbidden
its me who will be slain
take a scalpal to my heart
you'll find i lived to die in pain

with this bitter torch still burning
the darkness floods the light
so having replaces yearning
and hunger ends the fight

flickers of remembrance
trace through my minds eye
will they grant me penance
as i bid each goodbye

see my new love i have christened
though my old will still remain
take a scalpal to my heart
you'll find them printed in my veins

and though both are forbidden
its me who will be slain
take a scalpal to my heart
you'll find i lived to die in pain
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Old 06-14-2003, 09:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
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h.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child supporth.wood Is late paying my child support
wow. this is really beatiful on a sad tip.- take a scapal to my heart,you'll find them printed in my veins.. ^
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Old 06-15-2003, 07:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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vinous takes it up the butt!
thanx for the reply, anyone else? haha
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Old 06-15-2003, 07:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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beautiful use of language......i like this kind of content, im into the whole "woe is me" kinda thing lol......very nice/structured rhyme scheme but i wasnt really feeling it only because it seemed to "sing songy" for me.........having said that it was still a very good piece and im glad i read it...........peace and blessings
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
.....dreams.in.anime.....
 
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Kato88 takes it up the butt!
wow, i really felt that one...its so tragic, but so beautiful at the same time...i really look forward to seeing more from you, keep up the good work...
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I agree with Kato, tragic bliss.

take a scalpal to my heart
you'll find i lived to die in pain

that line hit me the hardest.
 
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:31 AM   #7 (permalink)
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vinous takes it up the butt!
but i wasnt really feeling it only because it seemed to "sing songy" for me
^^
heh, funny u say that, it was written with the intention of makin a song out of it, thanx all for the replies.
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Old 06-15-2003, 08:47 AM   #8 (permalink)
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i guess you took my words the wrong way......well thats on you
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Malo: let me put my middle finger in your monthly blood and paint a smile on your face


love
never
gave
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orgasm

Look at you unbelievably brilliant beautiful you
you're looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
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Old 06-15-2003, 09:04 AM   #9 (permalink)
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vinous takes it up the butt!
sorry, i think u may hav misinterpreted me also, i wasnt offended or gettin defensive or anythin, jst thort it was interestin that u picked that out from it, maybe im still takin ur words the wrong way?? its hard to tell ova the net.

anyways, appreciate ur feedbak, pz.
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Old 06-15-2003, 05:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vinous
sorry, i think u may hav misinterpreted me also, i wasnt offended or gettin defensive or anythin, jst thort it was interestin that u picked that out from it, maybe im still takin ur words the wrong way?? its hard to tell ova the net.

anyways, appreciate ur feedbak, pz.
yeah my bad man i was in a shitty mood last night.....but as i said, i really really liked the piece......but that type of rhyme scheme is not something i can get into
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Malo: let me put my middle finger in your monthly blood and paint a smile on your face


love
never
gave
me
an
orgasm

Look at you unbelievably brilliant beautiful you
you're looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
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Old 06-16-2003, 05:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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vinous takes it up the butt!
sweet as.
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